Songs of My Life

I just realized that our yearbook writeups are due this Monday already, I had to help my biographer (hihi) by giving her songs of my life. Because I don't have life verses or quotes, the songs will have to suffice. Anyway, here are the two songs that I think express my life (so far) in the best way possible.




Okay don't judge me. I confess, I am a closet emo kid. :O

Grad Pic Photoshoot

Today was my grad pic photoshoot. I was really worried about this one since I know I'm not really the most photogenic girl in the world and because I'm not very keen on following what the photographer says. Remember my pegs a few posts back? Well, I didn't quite end up doing any of those. I settled for this pa-cutesy dress I found in Glorietta last Saturday. It wasn't the best dress I've seen, in fact I have better dresses than this one I wore, but I don't know, I settled for this one. And I have this sick feeling that when I go back to this picture 10 years from now, I'd laugh really hard at myself. Oh well. Anyway, at least my toga picture turned out decent.

Still, there are traces that this photo has been photoshopped. Hihi.

One thing I particularly don't like about my pictures is the overpowering presence of my gums. You see, just like vampires whose fangs come out when they get excited, my gums tend to reveal themselves when I get too happy or too nervous or too excited. Hayayay. I just hope the photo company will do a great job in editing the pictures.

For the Love of Shoes

Just got home from the mall to buy new Sanuks! I am a very happy girl today.

I decided to buy the June Bug design since this seemed more versatile compared to the other designs available in the store.

I would've wanted this one though, if it were available.

Oh well. The one I picked still looked pretty good to me though. The only reason why I bought a pair was because I was able to snag some nifty Sanuk GCs from our school's org RecWeek. The RecWeek team got Sanuk as their sponsor and were giving away these GCs. Today was the last day to use the gift certificate.

It seemed like other people were also doing some last-minute Sanuk shopping like me with their GCs. P500 off your Sanuk shoes can really be big discount you know.

Still got one more left, and I don't think I'll be using it anymore on shoes. Too bad. I might as well use it as a bookmark or something.

BRGR

I already mentioned in a few posts back how Maginhawa St. in Teacher's Village is fast becoming known as a foodie village. This time around, Z and I checked out the recently opened BRGR: The Burger Project.

From the same people who opened Pino Resto + Bar, BRGR is located at the previous spot of Pino, which is beside Sancho. It's pretty small, and parking can be really hard, especially when taxi drivers use this area as their taxi stand. :| Anyway, so we managed to park and were glad that there weren't too many people dining in BRGR during that time.

So how does ordering work here? First, you pick up a clipboard by the counter which has a burger form you have to fill up. You choose the meat you want, either 100% beef or tofu. And then, how many patties can you devour, 1, 2 or 3? Next, you pick your bun, it's either poppyseed or potato bun, which costs you 20 pesos more (I think). After the bun, you can pick your cheese; they offer mozzarella and bleu cheese. And then you have a long list of 14 toppings to choose from. I seriously had a hard time picking out my toppings, but ended up with Canadian bacon, tomato, and lettuce on my one 100% beef patty with bleu cheese in between the poppyseed bun. On the other hand, Z ordered for 2 patties on poppyseed bun with mozzarella, lettuce, barbecue sauce, caramelized onions, and Canadian bacon. Does that sound too much? Well you gotta see it to believe it!

Photo taken by Z. This was his burger; just by looking at it, you can already feel heartburn coming :o it was HUGE.

Those were seriously big burgers, but really really good ones. I'd like to believe this would top my list for best burgers in Metro Manila, and that would mean beating Brothers Burger and S&R Cheeseburger.

Photo by Food Trippings

The Burger Project

122 Maginhawa St., Teacher's Village

Diliman, QC

Days 2 and 3

It's been a very busy, and at the same time lazy, week. So to compensate for the lack of posts, I'll be doing two days in the 30-Day Challenge.

Day 2 - The meaning behind your Tumblr Blogger name
I have a different name for my Tumblr, but since we're on Blogger, might as well stick to this. My blog url is http://star-crossedmondays.blogspot.com I know it's not the most artistic name, nor the most creative, but I try, as much as possible, to maintain a sense of identity in all the names I make for my online journals. I am the type of person who's paranoid about the future. I have this belief, thanks to my parents, that my Monday will predict the rest of my week. So for example, if I start off this week spending and splurging, I'll most likely be spending for the rest of the week. Or let's say, I just did really bad on a Monday philo quiz, it's possible that a pop quiz in theology might turn out just as bad. I know what you're going to say, this is simply self-fulfilling prophecy, but what the heck. I've been relying on this belief for a long time now. That's why I tend to be careful on Mondays and try as much as possible to bring about happy results.

Not very interesting name for a blog right? Ugh, I know. Must improve on the creatives.


Day 3 - A picture of you and your friends

I miss these girls! Crazy night this was HAHA I still think the best trips I'll ever have will be with these ladies. I miss you SIBS! Let's have another adventure soon :) (L-R: Jenn, Rizelle, Arjae, Joyce, Me, Jo)

My Kythe Family. This photo was taken during our PlanSem last May in Punta Fuego, Nasugbu. College wouldn't have been as fun without these happy people!

And of course, the backbone of my college life, Block Y :D This was during Malcolm and Clyde's Despedida. We've gone so far, and it actually feels sad that in a few months, we'll be moving on to new paths. :(

Mochi

So last weekend, I went home again to Batangas. Just to get away from all the stress and pressure school has been giving me. And behold, the fruit of my weekend at home.

I know, I know. They don't look very nice, but they taste really good. I worked really hard on this okay, so no judging. In case anyone is interested, here's the mochi recipe! :)

Mochi

1 1/2 cups malagkit flour (plus extra)
1 1/2 cups water
1 cup sugar

In a large microwaveable dish, combine flour, sugar and water and whisk until free of lumps. Microwave on HIGH for 9-10 minutes. Let cool at room temperature for ten minutes, then chill in the refrigerator for twenty minutes. Roll on surface dusted with malagkit. Slice into small pieces with wooden or plastic knife.

Enjoy!

Bohemian Summer

Because my graduation picture shoot is coming up in less than a month, I've been searching for some inspiration on what to do for my casual lifestyle shot. I honestly don't know what to do for this one, but I have managed to think more clearly and came up with two options: 1) summery vibe or 2) bohemian inspired.

So I found a few photos that actually blur the lines between the two. I hope this shoot turns out well.

I really like the last one the most (even if it does not show even a hint of bohemian or summer!). It's her pose that I appreciated. Plus, the hair is very much doable since this is actually how my hair looks like in most days - messy bun with my bangs covering almost half of my face. I just have to find a nice tube dress in happier colors than the one Zooey Deschanel's wearing. Wish me luck!

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

This photo is taken by Z for our Abnormal Psychology group presentation on eating disorders. As you can see, the camera and I, we're not really good friends. I guess I was never comfortable enough to actually stay in front of a camera without goofing around or looking weird in the pictures. And what's weirder is that it kinda feels weird when Z's the one taking my pictures. One of the things I don't like is when he tries to take pictures of me. Seriously, I'd either look away and grab his very expensive camera or make a very ugly face (like the one you see above).

Anyway, moving on to the 15 facts about me. Aside from doing this while cramming thesis, I'm lazy tonight so let's see if I'll reach 15. Perhaps I shouldn't elaborate so much anymore?

1. I really really really want to be a doctor.

2. I cry over my grades until now. I'm already a senior :|

3. My Facebook games take up most of my Facebook time.

4. I read a lot of food blogs. Seriously, I read a lot of those food blogs. They are my food.

5. I now live off with coffee twice a day, one in the morning, another cup during the night. If I don't have my coffee, you can expect to accomplish nothing for that day.

6. I don't like cleaning my room. I think there are better things to do. HAHA

7. Lookbook is an inspiration. I've been very much motivated to dress up for school lately. I dunno, sometimes it just feels good that you're all dressed up and dainty.

8. I've never worn a skirt to school in college.

9. Buffalo wings are the best.

10. Let me edit number 9. Cake is the best, buffalo wings comes next.

11. I secretly want to be a storybook writer and illustrator. But I'm not that much of an illustrator neither a writer.

12. Trips to bookstores make me happy. Maybe not the books, but the school supplies they have.

13. I've recently discovered that my freckles are spreading from my face to my shoulders and upper arms.

14. I love boy watches. Those black chunky ones. When I get richer, I'll buy myself a Panerai or I can just arbor my dad's Panerai.

15. I can live eating fruits alone. I love fruits, except for Langka and Durian. Everything else, I can finish on my own.

Yay, that was fast. I'm just not sure if those things are considered interesting.

Sad Lion

This is my sad lion. I like to draw/write whenever I'm sad/angry/frustrated. Because if I can't cry, I'd draw and draw and draw. I know, I have too much drama in my life I can die of it.

update: I decided to delete my post earlier. It's funny how my mood can easily change from extremely sad to extremely happy. We really have to be thankful for all the endorphins kisses on the cheeks can give us. Hihi, just saying.

30-Day Challenge

Just so the long hours of staying online everyday can have a purpose! Haha.

This was supposed to be for tumblr (check out my tumblr page!), but what the heck, I'm patronizing blogger now.

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?

I'll start tomorrow, kay!

Bad Tuesday

This was clearly not a good day for God and Religion. I need something to cheer me up! :(

update: I ordered lutong bahay! Because I'm particularly too lazy to go outside at night and buy dinner from somewhere, I would either starve myself or order delivery. And because I've had a particularly bad day, I gave in to temptation and ordered rice.

Probably a secret only people living along Katipunan know is the existence of Happy Homes. I can't really call Happy Homes a carinderia since I've never seen it, nor did other people whom I know order from Happy Homes. You have two options: 1) call them at their landline number or 2) text them (see number at the end of the post). If you decide to order through text, they charge you two extra pesos for the load consumption. But imagine this, one meal which includes a cup of rice and a viand will cost you only 35 pesos! You're required to order a minimum of two meals, so that's 70 pesos plus two pesos = 72 pesos! So san makakarating ang 72 pesos mo?

Today's menu: Pork steak and breaded porkchop

Best seller: breaded porkchop

Well obviously you can't expect their food to look as mouthwatering as the food in restaurants. This is your good ol' lutong bahay, so don't expect them to be complete with side dishes or garnishing. The breaded porkchop is always a safe choice. I've tried their sarciadong bangus, lumpiang shanghai, and pancit as well. My mom cooks better, but I guess this will suffice. The only downside when ordering Happy Homes is that you have to wait for 40-60 minutes before your food arrives.

Happy Homes

Somewhere along Katipunan Ave., Quezon City

09163295302

What I Do When I Go Home

After almost two months of not going back to Batangas, I finally had the chance to go home and not worry about any exams for the following. So what do I do when I go home?

1. Check the local thrift stores. I like going to the local thrift stores (read: ukay-ukay) in Batangas because the pretty dresses and cute tops are the ones left for the end of the month. People from my province, from my observation, prefer buying jeans and comfortable t-shirts while the weird ones (which I absolutely like!) are left there, waiting for me to buy them. I managed to buy 2 dresses and an asymmetrical top all for 100 pesos! Where can you buy three outfits for only 100 pesos! Hahaha. It was a good and thrifty weekend.

2. Go to the local SM. Even if I go to malls around Manila, I still cannot leave Batangas without dropping by SM. I like bargain shopping, as you've read above, and SM department store is actually more of a treasure chest now compared to thrift stores. The clothes and the accessories are really getting better while their prices remain very affordable. I've visited a number of SM department stores already, and SM Cubao and SM Megamall have the nicest department stores, complete with pretty Parisian Jr. flats and random clothing brands for girls.

3. Check out our fridge. Who doesn't like the idea that when you open your refrigerator you see so many things you wouldn't expect to see? So last Friday night, I opened our upstairs fridge and saw different colored boxes of chocolates. I saw a cute little blue box, and guess what I saw inside? Royce Chocolates! It was a really good way of ending a bad and hellish week. But the evidences of my hell week last week are still here - stupid pimpleeeees! What can I do about them? :(

Hell week and some

I just finished a very long and a very difficult week of my senior year. I conquered (or at least I’d like to think I did) two long exams, one midterm oral exams, and one illustration plate. Doesn’t seem much? For me, it was very heavy. I honestly don’t like taking oral exams, and I don’t know why it has been a culture in Ateneo to have oral exams for theology and philosophy. I don’t hear my friends from other schools complaining about orals. But anyway, I want to stop talking about academics because I’m trying to avoid using this blog as a cathartic outlet. I’ve had too much catharsis in my old old posts. What I’m really excited about is coming this weekend. It’s been a month and a half since I went home to Batangas, and honestly, I really really want to go home now. I’m excited for my activities on Saturday. Since I won’t be able to attend the August CLP tomorrow, I’m making up for it by spending the afternoon administering tests to my little sister and her friends. I’ve always enjoyed playing student-teacher when I was younger, and it makes me giddy that I’m actually doing it again – this time for real purposes. I need to get ideas for my final storybook project and because I have to gather data for my case report in abnormal psychology.

For other news, I just got an email informing me that I got accepted as associate director for externals in ANECON. Can’t wait to meet new people to work with! But I’m kind of anxious since I don’t know any of the people I’ll be working with.

Collage

Just finished my first drawing assignment for Children's Literature class. I don't feel very accomplished, but I worked really hard on this okay.

From my first and very dead sketch...

Into this! I like how the picture looks better than the actual collage :)

The collage looks nice no? I think it's only in pictures do collages look nice, especially my work. HAHA. The drawing part of my class elective has really been a struggle for me. I can't draw illustrations as nice as the ones my classmates make. Hay. Thank God this collage cooperated with me.

Greatest thing man ever made!

I've only discovered how convenient it was to use glue stick instead of the usual Elmer's this year, and the really, the difference is just amazing! No more ugly glue marks that look like snot when they dry up. Thank you glue stick for saving me tonight!

Crazy Sunday Weather

While I was on my way to mass this afternoon, the trike had to pass by E. Abada Street since the parish was located inside Varsity Hills.

It doesn't look so bad in the picture, but I got really scared that the water might reach the inside of the trike. This was along the intersection of Abada and the building where Green Mango and Fruit Magic are located. And just now, I learned that this was actually normal. So it's normal that the cement cover of the canals were flapping from all that water pressure coming from the canals? Someone has to do something about this please. Kawawa naman yung mga nakatira along this part of Abada.

The weather's just too crazy today. I do hope classes get canceled tomorrow so that I'll have another day to study. Hello hell week! I am not ready yet. T_T

And btw, everyone should try Kenny Rogers' Baked Bangus from their Breakfast menu. Sarap sarap! But I was disappointed when I realized Kenny's coffee wasn't free flowing.

Gayuma ni Maria

Just got home from a fabolous dinner with the boyfriend. Sometimes, getting tampo can work well for me because I get to choose where to eat, even if that meant driving around Maginhawa Street to look for the restaurant. And tonight's choice was Gayuma ni Maria.

I wish I had a camera I can use to take pictures. :( I really have to go home to the province soon so I can borrow one of our cameras from my dad. Anyway, I've been reading a number of blog posts regarding Gayuma, and from what I've researched, apparently, Gayuma's first branch was along Katipunan Avenue. I think the first restaurant burned down, so the owners had no choice but to close Gayuma. And just a few weeks (or months?), Gayuma was back in business. I learned earlier from one of the waiters that they just had their official opening last Saturday.

The place looked artsy-fartsy with a lot of girly vibe in it. For one, the walls were painted with flowers and love messages/quotes. It has a very homey vibe, the kind that makes you feel that you can stay there for hours just talking to friends. And it's actually big, well compared to other restaurants I've visited along Maginhawa. They're building a second floor to accommodate more diners. But while that part of Gayuma was still under construction, the first floor and the al fresco area were already available. I like the first floor more than the al fresco, but Z joked that the open area could be a make out spot since it was dimly lit. Haha.

I initially looked forward to the ambience of the restaurant more than their food. Reading the menu was actually a fun thing to do. They've been very creative in coming up with names and descriptions for their food, so plus points for that. I ordered the 7th Chinoy in Heaven while Z ordered... I forgot. Haha! Basta it was chicken topped with cheese and mushroom and herbs. I'm sorry, I was too busy choosing my own food. It took a while for the food to be served, but we kept ourselves busy looking through the novelty items they were selling.

Finally, food arrived. Hay, no pictures. :( My chicken was really big; I wasn't even sure if it was chicken or pigeon. Hmmm. The thinly sliced fried camote (I think they were camote) tasted like fries, and can actually be very filling. I like the saltiness that comes along with it. The chicken had a tangy taste in it, and wasn't just your normal fried chicken. But what I really liked was the rice! Chorizo/longganisa with mushrooms tasted sweet and salty. It can actually be a meal in itself. It seemed a good deal for less than 250pesos. Z's chicken tasted okay too, but mine tasted better. Haha. Next time I'll try the cream dory with cocoa.

For dessert, we tried the Beats Sex Any day cake. It's moist chocolate with butterscotch and cream on top. Maybe it's just me, but the cake tasted too sweet for me. But I did like that the chocolate tasted so moist, kind of like the melt in your mouth thing.

I seriously want to try the other restaurants along Maginhawa. I like the idea that most of the restaurants I've visited brings out the frustrated foodie in me and that most of them really value the 'art' in their own restaurants.

Leftover Strawberries and Oranges

Busy day today. I was juggling two heavy bags to school today. I had to bring all the props/costumes I needed for the photoshoot we had for one of my psych classes. (Yes, psych gets interesting sometimes.) The theme of the shoot was food! I was super excited when I went to Rustan's Katipunan yesterday to shop for food I might need. Grocery shopping is one of the best therapies I've discovered, sometimes even better than shopping for new clothes.

So for our shoot, I brought...

Oranges and strawberries! :) (Forgive the poor quality of my camera) I was assigned to bring strawberries, but I couldn't resist buying oranges. They just look so juicy and pulpy! You should've seen the orange pulps in those oranges. The fruits section of Rustan's is my absolute favorite. And because this photo of Saleisha from ANTM looked really pretty. Hihi

I'll post some of the pictures Z took soon. I'm really excited about this report. I think our group outstretched what our professor meant by creative presentation. Haha.

Did I mention it's going to be one long and sad weekend? Hay. Imma get back to eating my fruits and reading Kant.

Breakfast

I want to have breakfast at Cravings sometime soon.

Or maybe at Kenny Rogers?

I really think breakfast is the most important meal of the day and can actually be the meal all day. That's why I appreciate restaurants that serve all-day breakfast.

Avocado Ice Candy

Today was a really sad day, mainly because of the Philo long test which I seriously was not prepared to answer by the way. I forgot how it felt to write a one-page essay in less than an hour. I ended up spacing out/thinking for more than twenty minutes that I simply crammed my answers. I don't even know whether those crammed words I wrote earned me a few points or not. Oh hayz. I walked home holding back my tears because I promised myself I will not cry over my grades anymore, or at least not after every freaking exam. So I was walking walking when I saw an old man eating ice candy - avocado flavor! :D I love avocado flavored ice cream, especially the ones made by Arce Dairy. I went to National Bookstore Katipunan and got myself ice candy for only 10 pesos! Yum yum! Easy pick-me-upper for me. But aside from avocado flavored ice candy, here are some other things I consider as easy pick-me-uppers:

He was really adorable from 500 Days of Summer and seeing him with the GQ vibe in Inception just made JGL much much cuter.

Tumblr saves me from sleeping. It's always a surprise what you'll see when you turn the next page. Cute little babies will be always be an instant reblog.

There are days like today when I just don't care and eat whatever I want. Carbs, specifically rice, is a sinful comfort food. Box O Rice adds more sin since it cooks rice with lots and lots of margarine. I love their Sisig and Chicken Misono.

What's your instant pick-me-upper?

Awesome Weekend

This is my first post in a few weeks/months of being in hiatus. I've had a number of attempts to try and create a post, but then I get lazy or distracted of something that seemed more interesting. But this time, I really want to post because I've just had one of the most awesome weekends in my senior year. Just so we're clear, my timeline for the weekend starts right after my Philo class in Friday afternoons until 7PM of Sunday night. The weekend started with the movie SALT and Thai Chicken chop dinner. Awesome movie partnered with awesome and cheap food. Buffalo wings would have been good too.

Saturday was a day of being high, as in serious clean high. Chocolate can really give you that extra boost everyone needs once in a while. Aside from all the energy that everyone who came to Kythe's Family Day had, it felt like a proud and humbling moment for me. To see my kids aka my project heads just dancing and joking around made me feel giddy with happiness. It makes me happy to know they were having a good time, just as any mommy would feel to see her kids when they open the presents they want for Christmas, that kind of happiness. Sobrang nakakakilig pala yung ganun na feeling.

And I thought I'd get a chance to study after two nights of pure fun. Nat. My little sister came over and then we headed to Megamall for some sisterly bonding. I love having trips to the mall with my siblings; we get to eat wherever we want without having to worry that food will taste bad. Today's choice was Racks! After a really really heavy lunch, we went straight to Forever21. Before, my friend and I don't really get the whole F21 craze, but today, I realized what those lookbook girls meant. Crazyyyy! Pretty clothes everywhere that you don't even know where to start. We spent almost 2 hours inside the store just looking and trying out clothes. I feel bad for overspending and actually using up next week's allowance. I'm back to bringing baon to school for this week. Oh hayz.

But weekend's over, time to settle down and review Philo. Dear Lord, please help me tomorrow and please, maybe somewhere down there in my subconscious, a lawyer-like alter will emerge. Just for Philo at least.

Maybe I'm the beard.

I want to change, get rid of a few bad habits to make room for nicer ones. But I just can't seem to get myself up and start moving away from these stupid, depressing, and not to mention, self-destructing habits that I have since I have no idea when. Gaaah, I need a life :|

Journal Entry #13

As I close this summer semester with a good meal at Earle's in Ortigas (yes, I also go to the office once in a while), followed by a despedida party for a friend entering the seminary, and supposedly by drowning in good music while drinking... non-alcohol drinks *winks*, I realize it wasn't such a bad summer after all. During the start of the summer, I wished hard that this summer be one of the most memorable ones considering it will be my last summer as a college student. As soon as the second semester of last school year ended, I made a list in my mind of the things I want to for this summer. And judging from what I remember from that list, I don't think I achieved anything. Oh well, that's sad. But I think I did achieve things or do things I never imagined myself doing. Mmm let's see. So... awesome things I did this summer:

1. Worked for MEGA

2. Commuted to Manila area alone

3. Volunteered for OrSem

4. Tried to exercise

5. Had a lot of me time

I know they don't seem much, but for me, they really do. I guess, this summer's not really about how many beaches I've been to (but I do hope I can write something on this soon before summer ends) or about how much money I've earned from internship. To me, this summer was the time I focused on myself, on my needs, my strengths and weaknesses. This was the summer that I realized, got confused, and perhaps-rerealized what I want to do with my life. The re-realization is still an ongoing project, but that's okay! At least now, after my foundations have been shaken for a while, I'm trying my best to come out as a stronger person with a more determined goal for the future.

I can't say it has been the perfect summer of my college life, maybe last summer was better. Hahaha. But whatever, as Artie from Glee said, dreams aren't supposed to be easy. And perhaps, having the perfect summer is not very easy as making a list of things I want to do.

Journal Entry #12

Summer sem's is about to end, and so is my internship. After writing my integration paper for practicum class, I realized a few things about this summer, my last summer class as a college student.

1. You can never be too sure.

This summer has been very stressful and emotional for me. For one, I didn't get the position I was aiming for in my organization. Losing is clearly not my thing, and so is not getting what I want. I've been so used to getting the things I wanted, that not getting them felt so horrible. I guess, this is where I say that The Secret clearly doesn't seem to work all the time. Before, I thought, wishing and praying so hard for something I want will be enough to secure me that spot or that thing. Sometimes, we're not just meant to get the things we want, because perhaps, or as I would like myself to believe now, there are better things that we are meant to have.

This was also the summer that i had my first shot at the NMAT. I was telling my little sister it was like the most important long exam I will ever take in my college career, and yet, I barely passed. For three years, I've worked so hard trying to keep my grades up and in this one shot to maintain those high grades, I let myself down. You've read my previous posts regarding this, and writing about it again just pulls me down.

Because of these things, I realize that I can never live a life that's so sure, that's so planned out. I've been living the comfortable life of knowing what I want to do today and in my future, and this summer shook me really hard and slapped me in the face with the unpredictability of life. I may be confused now, but I think this is a good thing. Going out of my comfort zone is perhaps one of the best things I can give myself right now.

2.

... I can't think of a number two. :( I guess, that's the most important thing I learned this summer, that life really is unpredictable, spontaneous, surprising, astonishing even. And my internship for BluPrint actually made me realize that even more. You can never have a typical day because you can never predict what will happen to you today, especially when you're working for their company. It was an experience I will always remember, but not necessarily go back to. Haha.

Journal Entry #11

It’s been more than a week since my last journal entry. Work-wise, nothing interesting has been happening lately. I’m still “working” on my assignment on the Old Manila movie houses. No progress on that one. However, on things unrelated to work, it’s been quite crazy. Well for one, elections just happened yesterday. And if I’m not mistaken, the results are out. Not very happy or thrilled about the country’s next set of leaders. Actually, I don’t like them at all. Hahaha. Elections aside, school is slowly becoming very stressful. Requirements have been coming in like crazy. In less than two weeks, the summer sem is over. YAY for that one. But what I’m more excited about it is the after-summer classes plan. I’ve made so many plans and committed to so many people that I’m now scared how I’ll ask permission to go to all these gimmicks. Pray I be allowed and that all the summer sem requirements end soon. I have to work hard for that QPI!

Journal Entry #10

Remind me again why I'm taking Biochem this summer. :| I hate this prions report; I've been sitting in front of my desk for 12 hours now, and I still have nothing to write. Long weekends tend to make you lazier than a normal weekend would. Hate hate hate myself right now, and the long weekend of course. Haha.

Journal Entry #9

Surrounding yourself with people whom you find most dear to you is the best feeling in the world. I guess I gauge the goodness or badness of a day on how much time I’ve spent moping alone in my room, thinking of what could happen in my future, or talking endlessly and about random things with my friends. it’s been a great 4 days, and I’m hoping it still gets better as I’ll be going back home tomorrow morning to greet my momma a happy birthday.

It’s raining outside, and I feel lazy to go home actually. There’s just something about the rain that makes everyone lazy and slow. I’m not saying I don’t want to go home; I do! I miss home-cooked meals and the feeling of not worrying about biochem reports or internship assignments. I like that feeling a lot. But then again, going home would also mean I’ll have to miss Iron Man 2 premiere (here’s to hoping my siblings are game to watch it tomorrow night or on Saturday), Log Core meeting, and Selecta eat-all-you-can ice cream buffet. These things all seem exciting, but I’ll have to give them to give way to filial piety as someone would label it. However, as I commute home tomorrow at 7AM, I’m bringing with me the task to look for pictures of old Manila movie houses and of prion proteins. If there’s anyone out there who actually reads this blog and knows of someone who can give pictures of the said items, please please tell me as soon as possible. This type of work, having to spend hours digging through the internet to look for pictures is the worst part of the job. I don’t like it all.

On another note, I was researching a while ago for easy English subjects that I can take to fulfill the required number of units for law school. Yes, I’m now considering to go to law school. Thank you mother and father, I am now confused. Haha.

Seriously, the future now scares me more than ever.

Journal Entry #8

I don’t want to jinx anything, but this week seems far better than the past two weeks. For starters, I received my biochemistry long exam results, and well, I did better than expected. Thank God for that; I really prayed for that exam and even stressed out that I don’t want to receive low scores on my future exams. So thank you Lord. Also yesterday, we had our third practicum class for the summer semester. PC and I were so excited to share what we have been doing for the past week for our internship (see previous post) that we even brought our “souvenirs” for everyone to see. What I like most about practicum class is hearing the stories of my blockmates and how their work week went. Some were just the same, some were pretty awesome that I wished I had their job. Also, I think practicum class is one of the most interesting group discussions I’ve experienced. The 1 ½ hours allotted per session doesn’t seem enough to cover all the stories we have to tell, but I’m thankful we have something like this to somehow process what we have been doing with our lives.

Today also went well. I had my share of KFC Chicken Alfredo as my comfort food. That’s pretty much the highlight of this day actually, and probably the fact that I’ll have the chance to go for a run in about 15 minutes after I finish this journal entry. I’ve been pretty lazy and busy to get up and get fit, mainly due to the emotional stress I’ve been experiencing and studying for my exams.

I’m wishing tomorrow and the rest of the days get better, because I can really use a good day. I think we’re going to Ortigas this Thursday or Friday to actually work in the office, so YAY for real work.

Journal Entry #7

So fine, I've been missing my (almost) daily journal entries. I've been so lazy this week that I didn't feel like posting anything or going anywhere; I just want to stay in my room and sleep for long long hours. And because I've been doing so many things for school this week. Hoorah!

Our supervisor/editorial assistant Ina finally contacted us last Wednesday to inform us of an event the next day(!) that we can cover for Bluprint and Lifestyle Asia. According to the email we're supposed to cover two events, something in SMX Convention Center and Manila F.A.M.E. International at World Trade Center. I had no idea what those events are, but figured they were most likely related to our line of work. The plan was I'll take the Biochem quiz and then leave after. BUUUUT, my good professor did not allow me to leave class; worse, we never had the quiz. Hay nako lang talaga. I was forced to leave Katipunan an hour later than planned forcing me to miss the SMX event.

After two LRT/MRT rides and a cab, I reached MOA after almost two hours of commuting. Lesson learned: avoid MRT Cubao station as much as possible and don't go down at Ayala station. Hayayay the stress of commuting. So after a late lunch, we took a cab to World Trade.

WOW. The whole setting inside World Trade was nothing like I've seen before. Different stalls lined with different kinds of furniture and homeware. For almost 3 hours, we were walking and distributing copies of the publisher's magazines to the stalls. Trying to convince the owners to agree on us taking a picture of the magazine dispayed on one of their furniture was one of the hardest things to do. They looked at us like we were kids sent by some mogul whose business was to copy other people's designs. Thank God we were with a known lifestyle writer who practically knew all the exhibitors.

Aside from handing out magazines, we were also tasked to interview some of the exhibitors and come up with an article describing some of the companies. I realize these companies or designers are all exporters, catering to people from Europe, North America, and Asia. We saw Caucasians and Asians walking with strollers on one hand as they go from stall to stall, probably making a purchase. And from the looks of it, these buyers are not just common-man buyers; these are bigtime buyers who would actually spend money just to go the Philippines and buy a tea set or a coffee table or a tassel for their homes. O_O Crazy, this event was for the rich, and I was lucky enough to at least have the chance to see the designs before they were posted in the companies' websites.

Here I realize how big the world really is, that it doesn't just revolve in my own little world or in the world of the people I know. There are so many people out there, richer than anyone else I know probably, who can spend on the littlest things for reasons I don't know. But aside from that, I realized how creative Filipinos are. We have to be really proud of this exporting business that many Filipinos are engaging in because for me, it's one of the best ways that a Filipino can show the world what he's got.

Journal Entry #6

So it's been a week, and we haven't heard from anyone in MEGA or BluPrint. I hope they still remember their dear interns. :)) But aside from fear of not completing my minimum hours, I'm quite glad that work is not giving me any stress since school and personal have given more than enough stress that I can actually handle.

***

For the past three days, the day I feared the most (not really) arrived --- the day I realized I'm not going to be a doctor. All my life, I have studied so hard believing that a good doctor has to have excellent grades. The moment I entered school, I knew I wanted to be a doctor. For almost 20 years, I never doubted myself and never imagined myself to be anyone or anything other than a doctor. But why does this day have to arrive? Why do I have to cry every night for the past three days thinking my future would not include me being called "doc" or wearing a white coat? I'm starting to feel that maybe, I do not have the right skills or the knowledge to last for six or so years studying and becoming a doctor. And what's even disheartening for me right now is not knowing where I will go from here? What will be my future? Who will I be in the future?

I really really hope this streak of misfortunes ends soon. I think two strikes in less than 4 months are enough to make me cry like a whimp.

Journal Entry #5

The first week of classes seemed dull. I haven't very productive in both my acads and org work and ojt work. Biochem's a bitch, just as the weather continues to kill anyone who stays under the sun for more than 30 minutes. I have some unfinished work for Kythe and for OrSem. And work is, well, still on hold. I was talking to a friend of mine who accepted the SPARK Program/Internship of J&J, and I feel really really bad for not accepting that internship. I mean, P600/day?! Crazy! As much as love working for a publishing company, maybe earning that much can win me over. Oh well, just as my mom said, maybe I was not meant to have that job anyway.

I feel dizzy, too much wine from tonight.

Journal Entry #4

I hate those days when you're so unproductive, and whenever you try to do something worthwhile, you end screwing yourself over. Hay. I want to do something and to keep myself busy while work is still unavailable. What to do what to do.

Journal Entry #3

I want to ride my bike to school today. :(

Journal Entry #2

The past two days have been very tiring. I go to school early in order to settle things for my org; running around school submitting forms and having them signed, then back to another office again. This made me realize how hard it is to have to go through to so many people to reserve for a single room. And at the same time, I realize, how power and connections can go a really long way for things like this one. While the rest of us org officers and members go through the painstaking process of going through many procedures, there are some special people who can simply make a phone call to get things done. Oh well, nothing we can do about it :))

Aside from org duties, I've been focusing on losing weight this summer. I've been jogging for the past three days, and although my legs feel sore, it actually feels good to sweat off all those calories. I just hope I can actually make this one a habit more than just a fad.

Btw, work hasn't called us back yet. The last email I received is a week-old. I really wish Ina can call/email us soon; I'm excited for the shoots!

Journal Entry #1

Today was the first day of summer classes, actually it’s our last first day of summer classes. Somehow, I like the feeling of remembering that each day would be our last as college seniors, and at the same time, I feel scared that we’re getting closer and closer to the end (well I don’t consider med school as college). So how did I spend my first day? On my way to school today, the trike I was riding was caught by the MMDA; apparently for violating the Tricycle Ban. When did they ever impose a trike ban in Katipunan Avenue where the heat is inescapable except when you’re riding a car or a tricycle? I felt bad for the driver who had to pay the fine which, I think, does not even amount to what he earns on a daily basis. Hayayay. I only had two classes today, biochemistry and practicum class. Biochemistry was a blah. Our professor kept on asking what the difference was between an organic and an inorganic compound, for 40 long minutes. Thank God for practicum class (and I’m not saying this just so I can get a high grade for my journal hihi).

Before the class started, I was expecting it would be just like I/O class. To be honest, I hated that class; I hated how we’d just sit there for the whole three hours looking at the powerpoint presentations and taking down notes about boring stuff. Buti na lang practicum class was so much lighter. The chairs arranged in a circle made me comfortable already. And it feels good that you can just talk to your friends about your experiences, your work, and even your lifetime goals. It’s light, and at the same time, very insightful. We were asked why we want to be doctors, and what Sean was true, I really cannot imagine myself becoming someone else other than a doctor. How shallow it may seem, but wearing a white coat or being called “doc” means a lot to me. And perhaps it’s true, we all do want to help people, in one way or another. And I want to help by going somewhere really far from the city, to places where the only doctors are quack doctors or their own mothers or fathers. I want to be that person people can trust their lives or their family’s lives as well.

Receive a blue rose -> check! HAHA

What a pain.

I try to pretend I don't care. But please, can't you take the hint of me not talking?

I pray for understanding. And love. Yes, perhaps more love.

Today I experienced my first real job interview, and when I say real, I meant an interview with a big-time company, and not just a cute little org or project interview for school. I now believe how a little experience of this and that can go a long way. Hihi. And to be honest, everything still feels unreal until now. I can't believe I am actually hired and that I have 60 or so surveys sitting on top of my clothes hamper waiting to be encoded in SPSS. After almost four hours of waiting and talking to my editor, I am employed (well for at least a month or so) and with a "homework" due by Wednesday. How am I supposed to fit that into my already cramped weekend schedule? :( If only I didn't have two Org Chem long exams next week plus a Philo paper to write, I would love to work for long hours on this report. Hay. Here's to surviving this weekend and the weeks after that.

Guess where I'll be working :))

I want to have a day that ends with me saying "I love this day!" Hay, it's been so long since I've had those kind of days.

for thoughts I cannot express anywhere else

I've been treating other people so badly in the past few weeks. I have been very ill-tempered towards my friends that I cannot be subtle about it anymore. I want to change my perspective. I want to be nicer to people and talk to them with a happier attitude. Let not anger rule over me. I must be happy. I must see that there is a positive thing in everything that I encounter. Help me God, please. I want to change my life.

hear hear! :(

Ooooooh the pain :(( I'm hungry and in pain. I need food. And painkillers too.

UAAP Season 72 Champions

Back to back champions! I don't mind losing my voice from shouting "Go Ateneo" or "Get that ball". I don't mind watching the game from the general admissions area. I don't mind cutting one class for the finals. I don't mind lining up for more than 3 hours just to get tickets.

I love my school, go Ateneo! One Big Fight! See you all at the bonfire HAHA

We keep on asking the same questions.

Ondoy

I'm really scared, scared of what will happen tomorrow or the day after. When I woke up this morning, I was so scared to go outside because I did not know whether it was still flooded or not. I realized the typhoon has subsided after a whole day of nonstop rain that, I read from the online news, killed more than 50 people. People are missing, and I am not sure whether among those 20,000 people, I have friends or schoolmates belonging to that big a number. I pray for good weather for the coming days and for the safety of the rest of the people and fast recovery of those who were affected by Ondoy.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for keeping me and my family safe. Thank you that we were not flooded, that we still have food to eat, and that we still have a sturdy home to stay in. Please keep all my loved ones safe and the rest of the people and their families as well. I pray for those who are still missing, may they contact us soon to tell us that they are safe. I pray for those who don't seem to care about what's been happening to the country. I pray for more people to donate and to volunteer. And I pray that this incident be a lesson for all of us. Amen.

Who would say no to these shoes? :O I waaaaant! Wala lang, I really want to save money for nice shoes. Just to relieve myself from the stress school's been giving me lately.

***

School's about to end in a few weeks, and I don't think I've done so well this semester. There's that feeling that I know I could've done better, but I guess this sem's been the most stressful yet, hence the unsatisfactory results. Hay. I pray for a better sem next sem (although Chemistry is coming back yikes) and greater stuff for Kythe.

***

I want to watch 500 Days of Summer. Who's with me? :>

hello sembreak

Most of the time I still feel so useless, regardless of the time and effort I give.

THANK YOU :)

Law of attraction says that if you really want something so badly, the whole world actually connives to help you get it... I really really really really (with a burning passion) want this, please world, help me have it? To be part of that list would mean so much to me and to my future, so please, can I have this thing I want?

I want to be stronger and to learn not to care about the little mistakes and failures.

Almira got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... ... that you are perfect as you are. God doesn't create faulty life. No. Everything created by God is perfect, and so are you. So stop driving yourself mad with endless ways to improve, and just accept the glory of your being as is.

YAY :D

"...freedom is not the ultimate value. Freedom is important because it enables the person to make choices; it capacitates him to exercise his responsibility to choose from several possibilities; freedom is what empowers a human being to express himself in and through the choices that he makes. But freedom is not the most important value. The ultimate value is man making a choice, that he expresses himself in the choice that he makes, and that he is ultimately responsible for his choices." (Dacanay, S.J., 2006)

Yesterday I made a choice. I decided that I really want to be a doctor. I really really want this dream, I'm just not sure where I'll study or if I can still afford to go to med school in 2 years. So help me God. :)

before i study

It's true that not everything I want is everything I need. I wish I was better at filtering things or people or experiences that I really need, so I don't have to go through the long and tiring process of regret most of the time.

For happier news, I'm looking forward to the UST Med School tour this Friday and Embassy's Yard Sale. I really wish I can go to both events AND still have time to study for the first theo long exam.

***

Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/almirauy

3 more thousand to go. :-<

three strikes

Are we done yet? Can I please get myself back on track and forget how shitty I've performed in the last month?

student life satisfaction: 2

because OSCI online enlistment was such a fail

The idea of berry picking seems to excite me, I don't know why. Bananas for breakfast, anyone?

Thank God Ateneo won yesterday. *hoping for a good score in the last Theo quiz*

the saving Facebook app

thank you :)

Almira got a message that on this day, God wants her to know...
... that humans learn only by trial and error, and that includes you.

You've got to live life, not think about it. Step into the midst of things, try and fail and learn and stand up again. The question is not whether you will or will not make mistakes - you will. The question is do you want to learn and grow, or do you want to shrink back and be stuck? Take that step you've been avoiding. You can succeed, or you can get feedback that it didn't work, but in either case you are sure to feel alive.

See what God wants you to know...

June 30 at 1:51am · Comment · Like · Read your Message from God

back to school

It's only the third week of classes and I already feel as if it's midterms season. Hay theo, you are eating me alive.

The days seem longeeeeeer. And I don't like it all. *sighs

Mistakes I wish I never made.

happy mood

I love my friends and the simplest things we can share. Now I want ice cream. Mmm.

The sun's shining.

I should seriously start learning how to set my priorities and responsibilities. You see priorities and responsibilities are two entirely different things and sometimes, what people tend to prioritize aren't really part of the things they are responsible for. Hay.

I need something to cheer me up. Seriously, call me unsatisfied but my chem lecture grade was not enough to lighten me up from the bad news I heard today.

It was mine already, why'd you take it away? :(

bittersweet

After more than a year, I finally got sick, as in the type of getting sick that you have no choice but to stay in bed as you cringe in pain coming from all parts of your body. My head was throbbing worse than it did when I bumped by head twice during judo sparring. At the same time, I felt nauseous and vomited every time I tried to stand up. Aside from that, my tummy wasn’t feeling good as well, forcing me to go to bathroom almost as frequent as vomiting. I couldn’t eat since the smell of food made me more nauseous. I stayed in bed for more than 12 hours trying to sleep everything off. My entire system hurt so much I cried in pain. HAHA. Seriously, I did. But nobody really saw me crying, since they thought I was just sleeping. But the weird thing about that day of getting sick is how I think I miss getting sick and the pain it gives me. For so long I’ve been immune from all kinds of sickness that I no longer remember how it felt to be sick. Not that I’m unappreciative of the healthy body I’ve been blessed with (because dear God I truly am!), it’s just that yesterday made me realize how those kids I visit almost every week in AFP hospital must feel having to endure that much pain I only experience once a year. How can they put up with that dizziness whenever they wake up from their sleep? Or the fuzzy feeling in their tummies that discomfort them? Or at the very least, the muscle pain they get from lying all day doing nothing?

Nonetheless, knowing how painful it must be for the kids to stay in bed all day, I also realized how nice it was to see and feel people taking care of you when you’re sick. Like yesterday, I saw how people in my house went in and out of my room to check up on me while I was “sleeping”. I liked how they checked my temperature by touching my forehead or my neck and how they tried to wake me up and invite me for downstairs while I simply replied with a weak nod. Also, the wet towel on my forehead, for me, is one of the sweetest and most comforting ways anyone can ever do for me. Just like in the movies, when the sick person lies on the bed sleeping while another character patiently waits for the sick to wake up and puts the significant wet towel over the forehead. And then the sick person gets better in the morning to see the other sleeping on his side. Aside from it being romantic, I think it’s one of the simplest yet most caring gestures anyone can do. Add to that warm towel over the forehead a hot soup of cream of mushroom with crackers on the side for the tummy and I feel much better already.

And with that, I realized this morning that maybe the reason why doctors want to be doctors and nurses want to be nurses is because they liked how it feels to make someone better. Maybe, not just them, but also the rest of us has this inner want to be a superhero or a doctor to somebody and help another person get better. As much as we all want to be cured from whatever pain we endure, we also want to provide comfort, warmth or care for other people.