Journal Entry #12

Summer sem's is about to end, and so is my internship. After writing my integration paper for practicum class, I realized a few things about this summer, my last summer class as a college student.

1. You can never be too sure.

This summer has been very stressful and emotional for me. For one, I didn't get the position I was aiming for in my organization. Losing is clearly not my thing, and so is not getting what I want. I've been so used to getting the things I wanted, that not getting them felt so horrible. I guess, this is where I say that The Secret clearly doesn't seem to work all the time. Before, I thought, wishing and praying so hard for something I want will be enough to secure me that spot or that thing. Sometimes, we're not just meant to get the things we want, because perhaps, or as I would like myself to believe now, there are better things that we are meant to have.

This was also the summer that i had my first shot at the NMAT. I was telling my little sister it was like the most important long exam I will ever take in my college career, and yet, I barely passed. For three years, I've worked so hard trying to keep my grades up and in this one shot to maintain those high grades, I let myself down. You've read my previous posts regarding this, and writing about it again just pulls me down.

Because of these things, I realize that I can never live a life that's so sure, that's so planned out. I've been living the comfortable life of knowing what I want to do today and in my future, and this summer shook me really hard and slapped me in the face with the unpredictability of life. I may be confused now, but I think this is a good thing. Going out of my comfort zone is perhaps one of the best things I can give myself right now.

2.

... I can't think of a number two. :( I guess, that's the most important thing I learned this summer, that life really is unpredictable, spontaneous, surprising, astonishing even. And my internship for BluPrint actually made me realize that even more. You can never have a typical day because you can never predict what will happen to you today, especially when you're working for their company. It was an experience I will always remember, but not necessarily go back to. Haha.