Journal Entry #6

So it's been a week, and we haven't heard from anyone in MEGA or BluPrint. I hope they still remember their dear interns. :)) But aside from fear of not completing my minimum hours, I'm quite glad that work is not giving me any stress since school and personal have given more than enough stress that I can actually handle.

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For the past three days, the day I feared the most (not really) arrived --- the day I realized I'm not going to be a doctor. All my life, I have studied so hard believing that a good doctor has to have excellent grades. The moment I entered school, I knew I wanted to be a doctor. For almost 20 years, I never doubted myself and never imagined myself to be anyone or anything other than a doctor. But why does this day have to arrive? Why do I have to cry every night for the past three days thinking my future would not include me being called "doc" or wearing a white coat? I'm starting to feel that maybe, I do not have the right skills or the knowledge to last for six or so years studying and becoming a doctor. And what's even disheartening for me right now is not knowing where I will go from here? What will be my future? Who will I be in the future?

I really really hope this streak of misfortunes ends soon. I think two strikes in less than 4 months are enough to make me cry like a whimp.