bittersweet

After more than a year, I finally got sick, as in the type of getting sick that you have no choice but to stay in bed as you cringe in pain coming from all parts of your body. My head was throbbing worse than it did when I bumped by head twice during judo sparring. At the same time, I felt nauseous and vomited every time I tried to stand up. Aside from that, my tummy wasn’t feeling good as well, forcing me to go to bathroom almost as frequent as vomiting. I couldn’t eat since the smell of food made me more nauseous. I stayed in bed for more than 12 hours trying to sleep everything off. My entire system hurt so much I cried in pain. HAHA. Seriously, I did. But nobody really saw me crying, since they thought I was just sleeping. But the weird thing about that day of getting sick is how I think I miss getting sick and the pain it gives me. For so long I’ve been immune from all kinds of sickness that I no longer remember how it felt to be sick. Not that I’m unappreciative of the healthy body I’ve been blessed with (because dear God I truly am!), it’s just that yesterday made me realize how those kids I visit almost every week in AFP hospital must feel having to endure that much pain I only experience once a year. How can they put up with that dizziness whenever they wake up from their sleep? Or the fuzzy feeling in their tummies that discomfort them? Or at the very least, the muscle pain they get from lying all day doing nothing?

Nonetheless, knowing how painful it must be for the kids to stay in bed all day, I also realized how nice it was to see and feel people taking care of you when you’re sick. Like yesterday, I saw how people in my house went in and out of my room to check up on me while I was “sleeping”. I liked how they checked my temperature by touching my forehead or my neck and how they tried to wake me up and invite me for downstairs while I simply replied with a weak nod. Also, the wet towel on my forehead, for me, is one of the sweetest and most comforting ways anyone can ever do for me. Just like in the movies, when the sick person lies on the bed sleeping while another character patiently waits for the sick to wake up and puts the significant wet towel over the forehead. And then the sick person gets better in the morning to see the other sleeping on his side. Aside from it being romantic, I think it’s one of the simplest yet most caring gestures anyone can do. Add to that warm towel over the forehead a hot soup of cream of mushroom with crackers on the side for the tummy and I feel much better already.

And with that, I realized this morning that maybe the reason why doctors want to be doctors and nurses want to be nurses is because they liked how it feels to make someone better. Maybe, not just them, but also the rest of us has this inner want to be a superhero or a doctor to somebody and help another person get better. As much as we all want to be cured from whatever pain we endure, we also want to provide comfort, warmth or care for other people.