something for me

It's nice to know that you're being constantly reminded of the things you have to be thankful for. You realize there's no reason to be sad after all, no reason to turn your back on Him. 'Cause even if you're not destined to have everything, it's relieving to understand that there are things you deserve to have or meant to achieve. I mean, God's not that evil to give you nothing and everything at the same time right?

i can't even come up with a reason to explain

It’s that time of the year when almost everyone feels sad, defeated, lost, melancholic, nervous, and generally jaded. It seems like we’ve run out of our happiness pill supply, almost all at the same time. Why so? Because I’ve been reading a handful of blog entries expressing this common feeling that I, too, am experiencing. But then again, maybe this is just a season, just a phase, just a moment. What if it’s not? What if it continues to be a lingering memory, permanently empowering all of us?

life of post-it's and arranged marriages

Let me tell you something about love – love for the other, and love for the rest. Throughout the years of this pursuit to figure out what’s out there for me and to wait if there is something or someone out there for me, there are those periods when you just want to give up on it, when you just want to not think about it, and when you regret ever realizing that someday you have to end up with someone, thus unconsciously forcing yourself to begin the pursuit of finding this someone. But disregarding those times of no longer wanting to be loved by the other, there are more hours and days that you wished and prayed really hard that today is the day you’d meet that person. You dress up everyday, try to look your best in the hope that someone will take a double look at you and then you silently whisper in your mind “Ha! This is finally the day.” But the thing is, how many days have you experienced that moment? How many times have you told yourself that this is the day you are bound to meet the other? How can you actually tell that this person passing by and looking at you would be the person you are bound to end up with in the end? How can you measure the probability that things will work out, that things would never end?

If everyone’s bound to love someone and be loved in return, why does God prefer to make things complicated for us? I often wish that arranged marriages was a rule written in stone, so that each one of us is sure to have someone beside us, to eat with us, to raise a family with us, and eventually join us in forever-dom. If all of us were arranged by our ancestors to marry someone, we wouldn’t have to go through all the fuss of searching for other people since the other is there already, sure and steady. And according to my psychology professor, arranged marriages are more effective than those “true love” ones. Couples who are arranged have a greater chance of surviving the marriage compared to those couples who thought they were in love with each other. Now wouldn’t be happier and a whole lot easier for everyone? Nobody’s going to end up alone and miserable. That, for me, should be the main goal of life. To live a life without misery. Why live if you are bound to end up miserable anyway? This may sound vague now, but I know as soon as I start reaching my 20’s and later on (hopefully not) experience a quarter-life crisis, I should remember that I said this, that I promised myself I would be a happier person as soon as that time comes. But for now, let me suck all the misery life has to give. This is, of course, exaggerated.

And if arranged marriage doesn’t work or isn’t clear enough, why can’t life include post-it’s or labels to remind you if it’s good meat or bad meat. This is too absurd I know, but if you think about it, you’d realize how efficient it would be if people had post-it’s invisibly wrapped around them and are visible only to those who are looking at them. Like if you’re in the library, you go sit in the middle of the study area and look around for people of your opposite or same sex and “see” their labels. One says “bad meat” or “good for 3 months only” or “don’t even think about it” or “he/she will just break your heart”, now wouldn’t that be easier? And then there’d be this golden post-it that reads “the other”. Surely, this wouldn’t be an easy task to accomplish, as you’ve seen in the film Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But what makes labels easier is not making you risk a big chunk of yourself on something you’re unsure of. The other is there, a moving target you are supposed to search for, or may also be the other way around. But the more important point is, there is a target, there is a the other. And if God’s so good, He wouldn’t make us wait so long to discover the other.

Okay, time to work.

am i living it right?

I want to talk about my dreams. I want to talk about my sentiments over stoichiometry and incompetent chemistry professors. I want to talk about my problems on school, love, decisions and goals. But I can’t.

it's all your fault

Ever had that feeling where in something you tried so hard to forget suddenly surprises you and catches you off guard? And because of that you find yourself dumbfounded with nothing but a groan for a reply. You curse yourself for letting all those shit come back to life after you've put so much effort avoiding them and disappearing from them. And yet in the end, they find their way back to you easily.

Oh boy. *huge sigh*

This is just to remind me that I remembered something I wasn't supposed to. Good job me.

packets of sunshine

Happiness comes in pairs... and in the color red. :)) :)) sabaw post. things/events/people that recently made my life easier and lighter. thank youuuu. >:D<

...it's like the whole world stops to listen.

Dong Le

Remember when people usually say ‘opposites attract’? And how much chick flicks or other romantic movies or novels usually tell us how a jock can fall for a nerd, more so a loser? And in turn, we are thought to believe that our own fantasies will soon come true? That someday, someone who we thought least to be the person we’d end up with proposes to us on bended knees, and asking us to be theirs? Ah, the common daydream for everyone di ba? Well, we (that includes me) have been living a lie. Opposites do not attract. Cool people and losers do not mix well. People of the same kind stick together, forever. And that fantastic dream we all wish about romantic happy ending? My general psychology professor revealed this eye-opener to us on one hot day in June, while we were all just too full of an unbearable session in Statistics. All that and more.

***

Psychology, in my opinion, has this tendency of breaking people’s beliefs and values in a way that it doesn’t actually mean doing so. Maybe the whole ruining our desires thought may be a very biased opinion. It’s probably more of a realization rather than that of a mess-up. It reveals to you things that you never thought cannot be explained or experienced by other people. Also, psychology shows you the truths about things you first were true, but in fact weren’t. And to be honest, it makes life a lot more complicated than you think it is. Nonetheless, the subject makes me love my course even more. Imagine me having the power to preach about things normal people aren’t aware of, and I can see how their (my sisters) eyes widen when they realize that they too have been living a lie. Power, yes, and control.

***

Chinois (in French) or simply Chinese is another great subject. I love it. I regret that I usually sleep or space out during my Mandarin tutorials 10 years ago and having to repeat everything now. I should know how to speak in Mandarin, but no, I acted like an indifferent girl who doesn’t want to learn anything other than English or Filipino back then. But now, wow! I seriously look forward to every Mandarin session in that cramped up room where you can almost catch your professor’s saliva whenever she pronounces the syllable ‘chr’. But other than that, I love it. I want to master this language and test myself by going to Binondo and talking to those Chinese folks. And if I find myself lucky, I can probably find a Mandarin-fluent boyfriend who can tutor me for free. Hahaha. Kidding kidding. Tong pe tong? (Do you understand?) I don’t think I got the spelling right though. And now I begin to envy those Chinese kids who don’t have any problems speaking Mandarin or Fookien or Cantonese. I mean, I don’t think they had to go through this whole fuss of knowing what tone to use or what spelling to write, right? Unlike me who has been desperately trying to roll my tongue to say the words right. I want to learn, and I shall learn. Wait for my future posts in which I’ll be speaking nosebleed Mandarin. HAHAHA.

***

Last insight before I go home (because apparently, it’s been almost two weeks that I do not have internet K). Is it me or is the weather has been totally screwed up? So morning I wake up and it’s hot already even with the aircon running. Come afternoon, around 4PM, and suddenly it starts to rain real hard. And the weird thing is that it seems like there’s an exact hour when the rain pours. 4 in the afternoon. And then it usually lasts for about an hour. It’s been like that for three days straight, and I have no idea why the weather’s like that. They said Quezon City’s the only one experiencing that kind of weather. Thank God Metro Manila isn’t. People living there would all have gotten sick by now if it were like that. Too much heat in the Metro.

***

I’m not sure if it’s obvious, but I can tell it is. My writing sort of changed in this post. Too many phrases. Too many dependent clauses. Too many repeated and unrecognized words. My style changes, but not for long. I don’t really like it this way. I need to get back to that old self.

first day of school

My friend was telling me last night how she got tired of updating her blog and literally letting it die in one corner without being noticed or checked out. And somehow, I felt the same thing. To be honest, the only reason why I’m writing a post now is just to keep the archives section updated. But other than that, I find no other reason to think and to write something. Also, I saw a blog with a recent post on writer’s block. So I thought, probably I’m not the only one losing my excitement for writing. Maybe, there are other bloggers around there feeling too lazy to bother signing in to their separate blogs and coming up with something to say. Blah. Do you even get what I’m saying? Two posts in a row that I’ve been writing sabaw posts, and and that’s not good. :| Oh well, I’ll be waiting for something good to come up. HAHAHA.

Well actually something exciting did happen – OrSem 2008 baby! And I was part of the logistics committee. Yay! More kwento soon. Not really in the mood to tell my amazing stories. :))

[i was too excited, i forgot to write a title]

And so this to mark the 18^th year of my existence and the first day of adulthood and logically, the end of my adolescence. So what happens exactly at the strike of midnight? Err, nothing. I mean you’d be too groggy to even realize that June 2 ended already and it’s hello June 3! But what the heck, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

A very good friend asked me hours ago if I was excited, and I immediately answered that I wasn’t. However a few days back, my mom asked the same question, but I gave a different answer. I told my mom I was super excited about my coming birthday and about the things I’ve been planning for that day. But tonight felt different. Maybe it’s because as the faithful day draws nearer, the more anxious the person might feel? Well, that’s what has been happening in my case. Anxiety over the things to do on my supposedly special day or people who will or will not remember my birthday or feeling the zest that it is in fact my birthday. I’m honestly scared that I may not be as happy as I expected myself to be. I mean I want to be happy, I want to jump and feel the tingling feeling that I am officially legal. But what if I am not? If I wouldn’t be happy, how would I feel then?

Nonetheless, screw my feelings and my anxiety. Birthdays are supposed to be fun no matter how old the celebrant is. As long as I’m not celebrating it alone or with people I never wished to be with today, I’m good. I’ll survive this day. And with that, happy birthday once more.

Piso Dinar Yen Dollar

So today sucked. I have seen how inconsistent and inefficient the Ateneo has fallen down to. It failed to show how it can provide me the quality education I paid for, more so my parents worked hard for. The miscellaneous fee of more than one thousand pesos I pay this school was not given back to me fully. I only wished to enlist for about 30 minutes in one of their considerably in good condition computer laboratories, but what do I get? A computer lab that consists of more than 50 computers with no internet during the time when I needed to use one the most, in order to enlist in my classes. Worse, the lab only had one technician who didn’t even know a thing about fixing the problem and just kept on making phone calls and panicking all over the place. Blaaaaah. So what did I do? Rushed to Katipunan and looked for an internet café where I can start my enlistment, leaving behind my logistics committee training for the OrSem. It took me more than an hour to enlist for three subjects since there weren’t any good choices left to choose from. I ended up with a 7AM class followed by a 1230PM class and ends at 530PM. How’s that for a schedule? Stupid stupid I know. But the good thing is that I got into Chinese. YAY. But I still hate the fact that Ateneo can be such a piss-off sometimes and at times when it shouldn’t be. Why would I pay a big amount of money for something that wouldn’t reciprocate my payment? What a shame, to think this university charges the highest fees to its students.

***

On a lighter note, three more days to go! I'm really excited, but to be honest, no plans are being made to celebrate this event with a bang. Boo.

***

"Pustiso ka ba?"

"Kasi I can't smile without you." =)) =)) nice one leng. hahaha.

after the stars have faded

Do you know Pacquito Diaz? Most likely your answers would be no or i-think-i-heard-his-name-somewhere. If you lived in the 80’s until the late 90’s, you know and you despise Pacquito Diaz, or rather despise his character. Most of the time he plays the role of the deceitful antagonist in Filipino movies starring Fernando Poe Jr, Dolphy or other known protagonists in Pinoy movies. Diaz is that tall and dark man who always, and I mean always had that handsome beard which has sort of became his trademark, along with his expensive-slash-villain looking attire. But for those who have always been a fan of Pinoy action movies, have you ever wondered where Pacquito Diaz is right now?

During tonight’s episode of Rated K (yes, I can watch TV again), the present Diaz was shown and pitied by the entire Filipino audience. With no beard or expensive clothes, Mr. Pacquito Diaz was ultimately unrecognizable. If the host didn’t keep on repeating his name or flashing his old videos and pictures, no one would have guessed this was the favorite villain my parents used to see in the movies. After experiencing stroke and months of rehabilitation, Diaz can no longer move on his own or remember most of his memory. Moreover, he can only see with his right eye. All of these handicaps due to his accident. And in a span of three years, the iconic Pacquito Diaz was gone. However, he reiterated with his gibberish way of speaking that he wants and still believes he can make another movie despite of his present condition. How can a man who can barely walk be able to act as a villain now that he’s not even good enough to be the antagonist more so an actor for that matter? You can’t help but pity Diaz in his dreams, nor can you do anything to make him realize that there will no longer be any movies coming for him.

Meanwhile, I felt fear on my part. I mean look at Diaz now, who would imagine he’d be like that, handicapped and financially struggling? I’ve seen a lot of actors who have successfully reached for their dreams and later on falling so low with nothing to cushion them as they drop. I’m not in their shoes, but that doesn’t mean I am free of experiencing a downfall like theirs. I fear the day when I would lose everything I worked hard for. I fear the moment of seeing myself losing grip on the things I got and powerlessly letting them shatter in pieces before my eyes. No one enjoys a downfall, but everyone dreams of reaching the top. Maybe that’s the problem, the more we get closer we get to that optimum, the more painful it would be for us to let it go or for us to fall down. If only there was a way for me to attain what I want without ever going down, then everyone, not just me, would be more than happy. There will be no stories like that of Diaz. There will be no pitying shows which tell this kind of stories. And there will be no people who would watch this portion and pity the poor souls who lost their lives after the fame.

In one of the novels I read for Filipino class, it says there, “sa pagtatapos ng tag-araw, kasama nitong lulubog ang kabataan pati ang mga pangarap mo. Kaya’t habang nariyan ang tag-araw, kailangang lubus-lubusin.” Or maybe it went something like that. I can’t remember the exact lines. Nonetheless, it explains that we should all strive to reach for the dreams we want because the sun shines only once in a day.

19,000 in a matter of days

Last Monday, an earthquake literally shook the big pile of land that was China. With a magnitude of 7.9, the earthquake has killed 19,000 or so people in 3 days. The retrieval operation hasn’t finished yet, there are still more people being recovered, dead or alive. I learned this news only last night, Wednesday, when my mom texted me something about an earthquake passing through the Philippines that same night. Thankfully, the night had passed and there wasn’t any sign of the ground shaking. So as I searched in the net details about the false alarm of the earthquake in the Philippines, I read through this article about China. I didn’t immediately realize that the earthquake the article was talking about happened just a few days earlier. Due to the deprivation of a decent TV room, I haven’t fed myself with the latest news for weeks and to stumble upon this literally shocking article made me realize a number of things.

I remember writing in one of the countless surveys I answered was that dying in an accident was one of things I most feared. A few weeks ago, we were studying in sociology that acceptance of death still cannot be immediately acknowledged by everyone. It is a universal fear, death that is. To experience anxiety about death is normal among all men, but to accept it immediately is a rather rare case. I know I can’t, especially if death comes in an unprepared time when you have not rehearsed how you’d react to it. Moreover, I also fear just the fact to talk about death. It’s not one of my best subjects, because usually in topics like this, I end up reliving every painful memory I had with death. And obviously, with pain comes tears. The earthquake that killed thousands reiterated how death can just surprise you anytime and that you really cannot avoid it, more so prepare for its coming. It will happen, it will come, sooner or later. I pray to God that if ever there would be death, I hope people can somehow be given the time to thank everyone, to pray for the ones they’ll leave behind, to make amends to whomever they’ve hurt, and to be calm and accepting until that time comes. But I know my request cannot be granted for everyone, not all have the luxury of time to have death wait before these souls have finished packing their bags and getting ready to go. Not all are as lucky as I currently am.

Also, with the increasing number of deaths retrieved, I realized how divided people can be and how dehumanizing most of us are right now. This is coming from someone who does not have any connection to the news other than the Internet, but I wonder how come nobody in my school even opened up the topic of the number of people who died in that earthquake? 19,000 is no joke. Sure China has a problem with overpopulation, but to lose that big number of people easily is not something we criticize or joke about. There goes the US mocking China of its lack of safety precautions, where is morality there? Should the other governments be sending out their social workers and helping China with the tragedy it has not prepared itself for, more so wished for? People should talk about it. They shouldn’t point their blame-yourself arrow to China, they should be helping each other. We have been so preoccupied with the thought of outwitting one another that we leave behind the important fact that we are human. And as humans, we should and are supposed to care. It is in my greatest belief a human being’s greatest ability – to show that we care, that we remember each other. I am aware of the human rights violations China as the government has committed, but what about the Chinese people? Did they wish for themselves to die? To kill someone in order to compensate for the other’s mistake is as we all know (hopefully) is immoral. But sadly, morality doesn’t seem to exist in most of us anymore. Nobody no longer cares that more 19,000 people died because of an accident that they never wished nor took knowledge of before it occurred.

And so probably, with death comes morality. There seems to be a very strong connection between these two entities. Death helps us realize the moral side of the story. When it comes, it will only be then that people come to know that morality may have existed in some parts of their lives, but most of the time, it will be too late for them to see the connection. Sadly, there are times when people can never realize it.

things to do before (and after) I turn 18

Not worrying about Intellectual Property Rights rocks. :)) :))

Do away with fancy things.

I have this certain impulse that whenever I see something cute, be it a popsicle-shaped ponytail or rainbow-colored earrings, I’d instantly buy it for a very simple reason that it looks so cute. I don’t stop and examine whether I would be using this fancy thing for a long time. Usually these fancy things of mine end up in my vanity case after being worn once or twice. This impulsive way of buying things because of shallow reasons has to stop. Not only that my ears itch or turn red when I wear fake jewelry, but also I’m wasting a lot of cash buying too many little things which if you sum up can be equal to a pair of white gold earrings.

Stop the habit of let’s-pretend-I-don’t-see-you-so-I-don’t-have-to-greet-you.

Fine, I’m guilty of purposely avoiding people just so I wouldn’t have to wave at them or say hi to them. It’s not because I don’t want to see them, it’s that feeling that what if they won’t wave back at me or worse completely forget my existence? It’s pretty embarrassing you know, to be ignored by people whom you say hello to. But I shall try to be friendlier this time, and let people see this happy side of me that I know exists.

Reading the books I bought before buying new ones.

There are a total of five books which are in my to-read list. And mind you, this list was created a year ago. No improvement, so far. Well I have started reading the first chapters, but after reaching the boring part, I usually stop and forget where I ended up. Hahaha. But I have a very good explanation why my unread books continue to pile up – when I see a book I like, I can’t help but buy it immediately (especially when I have the fund) so that I wouldn’t forget that book. Makes sense, right?

Eat balut.

I managed to eat a day-old chick, why can’t I eat even the edible part of balut? I feel so deprived not having the stomach to eat balut. I tried to eat the yellow vein-y part once, but I ended up puking it out along with my lunch.

Contribute an article for Youngblood.

I just read my cousin’s comment in my multiply telling me I should try mailing one of my blog posts to Youngblood. And honestly, I’ve been dreaming of seeing my by-line in that column of the Inquirer. Since high school, I’ve been reading Youngblood every Tuesday and Saturday and admiring these privileged people who successfully published an article. To have one of my little notes published would be the one of the greatest days of my life. I swear, if that happens, I will forever retell my Young Blood story to my children and grandchildren.

Do a style overhaul.

I’ve been too lazy to spice up my wardrobe the entire school year that I usually end up going to school wearing jeans and a simple shirt. Sure, sometimes I wear shorts or pretty shoes, but most of the time it would be that plain and boring ensemble. I know I’m not like this. Whatever happened to the girl who promised herself she would try to not repeat clothes in high school? I was this walking fashion fad in high school who always wears the latest trends and never forgets to match her earrings with her hair accessories and bracelet. I was too burned out of that fashion addiction that I chose to remain laidback, in fact too laidback in college. And whenever I would see my high school friends, they’ll be these dress-to-impress girls who can wear anything they want, while I’m the low profile girl who’s good enough with jeans. Things have change, but I figured I should do something about my wardrobe. Probably not dress to impress kind of thing, but something other than oversized shirt and bootcut jeans.

Find a crush.

It’s time to let loose. I’ve been hanging so long in finding someone to like, as in like like. But while I was walking to school today I realized that part of the reason why my days get so emo is the fact that there’s nothing to look forward to. And as my blockmate told me once, it’s very entertaining to have crushes. Probably not a serious crush, but more of a happy crush whom you enjoy daydreaming about or wondering where he could be and what he’s doing. You know, that kind of crush that whenever you see him, you’d say ‘Wow, he looked into my eyes (even if he actually didn’t). My day’s complete’. I’d like that, and so begins my journey of finding a happy crush.

Do not lower your own self-esteem or pity yourselves by asking ‘why am I not pretty?’, ‘how come no one has courted me for years?’, and ‘out of 8 billion people, will there be someone who will like me and fall head over heels for me?’.

No matter how much I enjoy asking these questions and taking pity on myself, I guess should stop. As the law of Attraction dictates, nothing will happen if I continue to believe nothing will happen. Rely on fate and let nature take it course. I am pretty (well at least pretty enough to be this proud) and I know someone will take notice of me and take a double, wait no, triple look at me when I happen to pass by this lucky guy.

In contrary to my previous entry ‘fisherman’, I’m actually excited about my coming birthday. Well of course I don’t want to run around Ateneo shouting I’m turning 18 and I’m freaking excited. You know that normal level of excitement. And secretly, I’ve been planning my imaginary birthday celebration. I wanted a Greek gods and goddesses’ night in which everyone would be wearing clothes in hues of white, gold and silver. Well, too late for that now. I already decided that I wouldn’t be having a grand celebration, but I don’t know what I would be doing either. Still on planning mode. Nonetheless, however it may turn out, I just hope it would be as happy as I dreamt it would be.

HAPPY

Thank you God! I feel really really happy today. Thank you, thank you because you never fail to brighten me up on days when I need a hug. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, so you wouldn’t stop giving me happy happy happy things. I love you God. Thank you for today. :)

...because I believe we should never forget to thank God for every little blessing He gives.

Supermaids, bow.

I attended one of Kritika Kultura’s lecture series today with Dr. Bea Lorente. She discussed how English as a modern language has become the ideal tool for every nation’s progression. Also, she discussed something about how English has become a necessity or minimum requirement for every Filipino household service worker a.k.a. maid to be able to work abroad. Lorente “introduced” the term Supermaid, a certificate the POEA requires for every migrant worker applying as a maid. And according to this insane certificate, Filipino maids must have this seemingly very ideal personality for a household helper. Among the requirements were having high proficiency in English and other languages, being able to fill out forms, understanding household communication well and maintaining good working relationship. I mean, do maids have to be highly efficient in English or to be multilingual in order for them to wash the dishes or clean their bosses’ asses? I admire OFWs and the work they do abroad, but to require so much from them and to advertise laborers like that is completely unacceptable. POEA seems like it has become the official agency for selling Filipina workers who are like Stepford wives. But what can I do? We owe the OFWs the stability of our economy. If it weren’t for their remittances which FYI covers 30% of our country’s GNP(?), we would have been experiencing every crisis the world has invented. Anyway, trivia: each day, there are 2700 Filipinos who leave the country for migrant jobs.

But the issue on the Supermaid wasn’t the only issue covered by the lecture. The more interesting debate brought up by Dr. Lorente was the real deal on Filipino being the national language. Remember in high school when we discuss the long history on how Filipino became the national language of the country and how other dialects like Bisaya and Ilocano fought against Tagalog? Well, it wasn’t really an issue on ethnicity or whatever nationalistic idea why these Filipinos from the Visayan and Northern regions tried so hard to win the spot for the national language. It was a battle for hierarchy. He who speaks Tagalog is considered a level higher than the one who talks in Bisaya or Chavacano. And you know what, it makes perfect sense. No wonder why people often associate dialects other than Tagalog to be the dialect of maids, drivers and other labor jobs. Media presents these dialects as languages as inferiors to Tagalog. And that’s also the reason why those people who are anti-Tagalog pursue so hard to work on their English. Did you know that Cebuanos, who are by the way Bisaya, are considered the highly proficient English speakers? Because they believe that in order to win over Tagalog, they have to master another language – English. So most likely if you find yourself anti-Tagalog, you are a pro-English. Moreover, focusing on English instead of Tagalog has been vastly expanding. This answers the query why Araling Panlipunan or Social Science is being taught in English instead of Filipino. According to House Bill 4701, all subjects except Filipino will be taught in English. That’s a very big step to a more English, less Filipino nation. You can just imagine the Bisaya and Ilocanos jumping for triumph. Apart from the issue on Tagalog, many scholars believe that linguistic nationalism is already obsolete. Meaning, to speak in Filipino no longer means you are being nationalistic. Language no longer indicates nationalism on the part of the person who speaks the “national language” since obviously, there is no longer any national language. English took over whatever Tagalog we have left, ate it all up and now it controls not only the Philippines but the rest of the world through what we commonly know as globalization. And so I begin to wonder, if language does not represent a country, what does? Is it the type of work the people do? Or the services the country offers? It’s a question of identity. If everyone else speaks in English, what good will that bring to the identity of a nation? Would there be equality?

It feels good to have the chance to attend lectures discussing things we don’t usually talk about and to be able to realize that there are people like Dr. Lorente who are capable of opening to everyone else issues we didn’t know existed. Not everyone would bother themselves with issues on language or the English language’s plan on world domination.

the tale of the runaway muse and the brain-lagging individual

I cannot find my muse. Do you know where it hid itself? I cannot stop and contemplate on where I must have dropped it. My mind is too busy pumping my temples and making me feel like my head’s about to explode. Migraaaaaine. I do not like migraines; well I don’t know anyone who enjoys them anyway. It prevents me from working properly and letting my right brain conquer my left brain. But then again, isn’t the right the creative while the other the logical? Don’t I need my creative mind to work? Bah, I need both to function properly or else I end up like what I have ended up now – talking about things I know I shouldn’t be blabbering about or ranting about. But isn’t “ranting” walking? Why do people like to use this word to actually refer to complaining or exasperating (whatever this word means)? They call this sickness, over-familiarity is it? Bah. I don’t know, ask my left brain. Oh wait, it’s not working anymore. The right brain tempted the partner to join it in working against me in a very unlikely moment. Stupid brains! They should never be allowed to rest or to let the much protected muse to get lost.

This is what you should do when you can't find your muse, suck out all the remaining drops of your creative juice until nothing is left. Nothing is left to function properly or sanely. Good luck.

fisherman

In less than a month’s time, I’d be turning 18. While some of my friends have already celebrated their birthdays, I’m still contemplating on what I should be doing on that day. A day before my sophomore registration, 6 days before my first day of soph year and to me, seems like a very unlikely day to celebrate one’s birthday. Tuesday? Don’t people celebrate birthdays on Saturdays or Sundays? It just feels weird to me that while everyone else is working or preparing for school or busy studying in school, I’m jumping because it’s supposedly my special day. So I have this dirty little wish, that on this faithful day, people would stop working or cramming whatever and pause, because again, it’s my birthday. Pretty dumb I know. Because that’s the thing I don’t like about birthdays celebrated on April to early June, because people usually forget that it’s a special day for you. Why? Because we (yes, I confess I too am like this) are having so much fun during the summer we almost forget until oh-back-to-school-summer’s-over-nagbirthday-ka-pala drama na lang yun sunod. Hahaha. You can’t actually blame anyone for this since everyone makes this mistake right? But the thing I envy the most about people who were luckily born from July to March is how their classmates, friends, teachers and lovers get to sing them Happy Birthday or bump into these lucky people and greet them “oh hey, happy birthday! I bet you’re having the greatest day huh?” or something related to that. And I want that. I really do.

Another point I’d like to ask. What happens when one turns 18? I mean on midnight, if you’re very excited to wait for that special moment, does anything change? Do you strike out that ‘girl’ sign on your forehead and replace with a big ‘woman’ sign? Maybe it’s not as special as I thought I it was. Maybe it has been overrated. Or maybe, I’m saying all these things because I haven’t experienced it yet. And here I am talking endlessly about how overrated 18^th birthdays are while I still don’t know how it feels to celebrate one and to feel like an adult. I should wait na lang noh? I don’t want to eat up any of the bad things I’ve said. Hahaha.

P.S. the title works like an insult to myself. :))

isa akong batang 90's

Thoughts that easily remind me of the 90's. Grabe, laugh trip at the same time nostalgic. I agree with most of the stuff in here.

Masaya ka kapag naglalaro ka ng Tex at Pog. Kadalasan ang design dito ay yung mga palabas sa TV, mga drama o kaya anime, may dialogue pa.

May comics pa ang bazooka. Kahit di mo maintindihan yung Fortune Cookie sa huli ay collection mo pa rin yun.

Uso pa yung tirador, yung gawa talaga sa sanga ng puno.

Ang mga babae naglalaro ng paper dolls na tigpipiso bawat isang set sa sari-sari store.

Kung lalake ka, siguradong may pellet gun ka.

Humihingi ka ng dalawang piso sa magulang mo para maglaro ng video arcade sa sari-sari store. Favorite mo yung Sonic, Mario at Street Fighter at Tetris.

Nagwa-watusi ka kapag New Year kahit pinapagalitan ka ng nanay mo.

Meron kang sapatos na umiilaw yung swelas kapag iniaapak mo. Mas sikat kung iba-iba yung kulay.

Merong at least isang Chicago Bulls na shirt sa bahay nyo. Madalas number 23 pa yung nakalagay.

Pinapatulog ka ng yaya/nanay mo tuwing tanghali o hapon para raw lumaki. Hindi na kasi pinapatulog ang mga bata ngayon tuwing tanghali di tulad nung panahon natin.

Sinasabihan ka ng matatanda na may lalabas na pari o bigas sa sugat mo kapag hindi nilagyan ng alcohol pero in the end, betadine lang ang magpapatahimik sa inyo.

Kung babae ka, nagkaroon ka ng butterfly hairclips/rings. ( si Jolina ang nagpauso nito.) haha.

Kung medyo may pera ang pamilya nyo, nagpabili ka ng Polly Pocket.

Naglalagay ka ng Kisses (yung mabango) sa pencil case mo, o kaya sa isang lalagyan na may bulak, alcohol at tinutusok ng karayom para mabilis manganak.

May free stickers ng Disney movies sa loob ng Maggi noodles.

Pinapatunog mo yung takip ng Gatorade.

Ang mga stationeries na uso: Papemelroti, Tsukuba, Sashikibuta. Pwedeng ibenta, pwedeng trade lang.

Pampalipas oras mo dati ang paglalaro ng Brick Game, at swerte yung mga may advanced version na may tumatagos na blocks para mapuno na yung gap sa loob. Mas advanced ka kung Tamagotchi ang nilalaro mo. Pinapakain mo, pinapatulog mo, at inililibing mo kung namatay na. At kung talagang kaya nyong bumili, Game Boy ang sayo. Pero kung wala ka talaga, yung laruan na lang na may tubig sa loob tapos dapat ma-shoot mo yung mga bilog sa stick na maliit.

Bago magsimula ang klase, nakikilaro ka muna sa 10-20, jackstone, langit lupa, ice water, taguan, dr. quack quack, tumbang preso, pepsi seven up at agawan base. Di bale nang madumi na ang uniform mo pagpasok ng classroom.

Sinasabi mo sa kaklase mo na "Liars go to hell" kapag tingin mo nagsisinungaling sya. "Cross my heart, hope to die" kapag nangangako ka. "Period no erase" kapag gusto mo walang kumontra sayo. Kaya lang wala kang lusot kapag sinabi ng kaklase mo na "Akin yung factory ng pambura".

Sikat ka pag ang pencil case mo nabubuksan sa dalawang side tapos maraming attachments like magnifying lens, book stand, compartments na maliliit tapos push button pa. Minsan sa ibabaw ng pencil case meron pang maze, may maliit na silver na bola tapos itatagilid mo yung pencil case para gumulong yun, hanggang sa matapos yung maze.

Di ka baduy kung ang notebook mo nung elementary ay may mukha ng artista.

Sa coolman mo inilalagay ang tubig na baon mo sa school.

Nagpabili ka ng Baby-G sa magulang mo.

Elementary ka nung nauso ang pager. Yun pa ang pinapangarap ng mga bata, hindi pa cell phone.

Meron ka pa rin ng pinakamalaking cell phone na nakatago na ngayon sa mga kahon.

Wala pang PS/PS2, XBox, Wii, atbp. noon. Family Computer pa lang, yung cartridge yung bala. Usong laro ang Mario Bros., Battle City at Rambo.

Meron ka ng isa sa mga ito: Family Computer, Nintendo, Sega, roller blades, brick game, Tamagochi, Swatch Watch w/ matching guard, Troll collection.

Alam mo ang mga linyang ito sa mga kanta: "Natatawa ako, hi hi hi hi", "Anong paki mo sa long hair ko", "Dahil sa bawal na gamot", "Mga kababayan ko, bilib ako sa kulay ko".

Isa dito ay theme song mo: "I Swear" by All 4 One, "What's Up" by 4 Non Blondes (And I say, Hey ey ey ey ey ey. I said hey, What's goin on!), "Zombie" by Cranberries.

Sumasayaw ka ng Macarena.

Alam mo ang kanta ng Spice Girls at may favorite ka sa kanila. Kung fan ka talaga, may poster ka pa at casette tape ka pa nila.

Malamang ay naging fanatic ka ng isa sa mga sumikat na boy bands.

Ang tinutugtog lagi sa radyo ay mga kanta ng mga banda gaya ng Eraserheads, Parokya ni Edgar nung nagpapalda pa lang sila, Alamid, Rivermaya, True Faith, The Youth, Afterimage at kung anu-ano pang pinoy bands.

Tape pa ang uso, di CD or MP3 players. Pag gusto mo yung kanta kailangan tantyahin mo kung ilang seconds i-rewind yun para mabilis paulit-ulitin.

Kinakanta nyo dati sa school yung "Heal the World", "Tell the World of His Love", "Jubilee Song", etc.

Nanonood ka dati ng Power Rangers, Captain Planet o Ninja Turtles. Nagkukunyari pa kayo ng mga kaibigan mo na kayo yun at nagkakasipaan kayo.

Di ka papagalitan ng magulang kahit magbabad ka sa TV, basta ang pinapanood mo ay Hiraya Manawari, Bayani at Sine Skwela, kung saan nakilala mo sila Teacher Waki, Ugat Puno, Palikpik, at ang buong barkada nila lalo na kapag nakasakay sila sa space ship o sa jeep na lumilipad.

Sinubaybayan mo ang Ghost Fighter at ang Dragon Ball. Naging favorite mo si Eugene at si Goku.

Niloloko mo yung theme song ng Voltes V kasi di mo maintindihan yung theme song: "Tato ni Ara Mina malaking cobra...", "Boltes Payb lima sila, pumunta sa kubeta...", "...Kontra Bulate!"

Napanood mo din yung ibang anime tulad ng Shaider, Sailormoon, Daimos at Maskman. Saulo mo pa nga yung kanta dun: "Oh maskuman kayo ang pag-asa.. Iligtas kami sa marahas na kadiliman... Kami inyong ipaglaban! Sugod, sugod laban maskuman, ipaglaban nyo ang katarungan.. Sige, sige laban maskuman.."

Sinubaybayan mo ang Sarah ang Munting Prinsesa, Julio at Julia, at Cedi. Pinanood mo pa nga yung movie version ng Sarah ang Munting Prinsesa with Camille Prats. • Alam mo din yung "Ang Pulubi at ang Prinsesa" with Camille Prats and Angelica Panganiban.

Gusto mong sumali sa ANG TV. Pero alam mong hindi na pwede. kaya kuntento ka na lang sa panonood nito tuwing 4:30 ng hapon.

Batibot ang usong palabas. Akala mo nga mag-dyowa o mag-asawa sina Kuya Bodjie at Ate Sheena.

Alam mo yung tono ng pinausong kanta ng show na "ATBP.": Isa.. dalawa-tatlo.. apat-lima.. anim-pito-walo.. syam-sampu... labingisa-labingdalawa... labingtatlo... labingapat-labinglima...

Napanood mo ang Batang X.

Sabay kayo nanonood ng yaya mo ng Marimar.

Nanonood ka ng kahit alin dito: "Okay Ka Fairy Ko", "Oki Doki Doc", "Abangan ang Susunod na Kabanata", "Palibhasa Lalake", "Ober da Bakod", at "Home Along Da Riles"

Galit ka kay Clara kasi sobra naman talaga sya mang-api kay Mara.

Pinanood mo din yung "Villa Quintana", "Esperanza", "Anakarenina" atbp.

Mga love teams na nagpakilig sayo: Juday and Wowie. Jolina and Marvin

Alam mo yung commercial ng Tender Juicy hotdog na ganito: "Dear diary, Carlo sat beside me today. He's so cute! Sabi niya I'm pretty kaya lang I'm fat.

Kinakanta mo yung "Thank God it's Sabado, pati na rin Linggo..." at "Isa pa, isa pa, isa pang Chicken Joy".

Nasa channel 2 pa ang Eat Bulaga at ang Mel and Jay.

Nakikita mo sa balita na may mga kultong nagtatago na sa kweba, kasi magugunaw na ang mundo sa year 2000, at yung mga computer daw bigla na lang mag-shu-shut down at mawawala na daw ang technology.

Chinese variety shows ang palabas tuwing umaga ng linggo.

Matapang ka kung napanood mo lahat ng Shake, Rattle and Roll movies.

Narinig mong i-announce sa radyo yung death ni Princess Diana. Biglang nauso yung kanta ni Elton John na "Goodbye, England's Rose."

Nasa VHS yung mga movies na pinapanood ninyo sa bahay.

old people songs = love. Robee tagged me :))

THE RULE
People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people.

I tag... YOU. So if you find yourself bored, go ahead. ;)

1. At what age do/did you wish to marry?
After med school probably. But wouldn't I be too old by then? O_O Oh well, books over boys. haha

2. What's your favorite old song?
Close To You by The Carpenters or Simply Jessie by Rex Smith

3. Have you ever shoplifted?
Nah-uh. But if I could shoplift without getting caught, I'd get myself a Wii. :)

4. What country do you wish to go to right now?
East Coast, US. :)) Or South Korea or Australia.

5. What old movie do you like?
Parent Trap (is that old?) or maybe Forever Young starring Mel Gibson.

6. When you encounter a sad moment, what do you do?
I buy caramel sundae or usually sleep it off or pig out.

7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Wow, seriously? 1 million dollars?! OOOHH, i would buy:
a new laptop
PSP or Nintendo DS
a beach house
trip to the countries I mentioned in question 4
an LV speedy bag for myself and for my mom
put up a business
start a charity thing
...and the rest will go to the bank.

8. What is your biggest fear?
Knowing i had let an opportunity pass me easily. And dying in an accident.

9. List 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
Robeeeeee. Responsible. thoughtful and masipag. :D

10. How do you cope with boredom?
I like to play dress up. :))

11. What kind of person do you hate the most?
Arrogant people who cannot admit their own mistakes.

12. What is your ambition?
I want to be a doctor. :D


13. If you have one wish, what would you wish for?
This one's really hard. Lemme see, I'd wish for love to reign on every person's soul. Yay. :)

14. Given a chance to join a reality show, which one would you join?
The Bachelorette? :)) :))

15. Do you believe that dreams do come true?
YES, definitely.

16. It is already 2008, do you have any new year's resolution?
I think I promised to fullfill one, but I forgot what my resolution was. Oh well, I think it was about saving more money for quality rather than qunatity? Haha, something like that.

17. What do you look forward in 2008?
Summer trip. Already happened, now waiting for 2009. =)) =)) and oh, my 18th birthday and my friends' birthdays also.

18. What song would you like to be played at your wedding?
It actually depends on whom I'll marry and where I'll get married.If it's my high school crush, it would be Half Crazy, but if I would marry my perfect guy, the perfect song would definitely be any David Pomeranz song or Martin Nievera para mas cheesy. :))

19. When you die, what is it you'd like to be remembered for?
I'd like to be remembered for the people I've befriended and the things I've written.

20. What's your favorite fairytale?
The Little Mermaid (disney version :D)

25 things you need to

got this from http://msn.chemistry.com/msnarticles/25-love-factoids?trackingid=508259&bannerid=2002322&GT1=26000.

Love is a many splendored thing…and very surprising thing, too. As if you needed proof of that, here are 25 funny little facts about love. Study them, scratch your head over them, and share them with someone you fancy.

• Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than those who don't.
  


• The oldest known love song was written 4,000 years ago and comes from an area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.
  


• When it comes to doing the deed early in the relationship, 78 percent of women would decline an intimate rendezvous if they had not shaved their legs or underarms.
  


• Feminist women are more likely than others females to be in a romantic relationship.
  


• Two-thirds of people report that they fall in love with someone they’ve known for some time vs. just met.
  


• People telling their story of how they fell in love overwhelmingly believe the process is out of their control.
  


• Falling in love can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover’s memory.
  


• Love can also exert the same stress on your body as deep fear. You see the same physiological responses—pupil dilation, sweaty palms, and increased heart rate.
  


• Brain scans show that people who view photos of their beloved experience an activation of the caudate—the part of the brain involving cravings.
  


• The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth.
  


• The “Love Detector” service from Korean cell phone operator KTF uses technology that is supposed to analyze voice patterns to see if a lover is speaking honestly and with affection. Users later receive an analysis of the conversation delivered through text message that breaks down the amount of affection, surprise, concentration and honesty of the other speaker.
  


• Eleven percent of women have gone online and done research on a person they were dating or were about to meet, versus seven percent of men.
  


• Couples’ personalities converge over time to make partners more and more similar.
  People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!).
  


• The tradition of the diamond engagement ring comes from Archduke Maximillian of Austria who, in the 15th century, gave a diamond ring to his fiancée, Mary of Burgundy.
  


• Forty-three percent of women prefer their partners never sign “love” to a card unless they are ready for commitment.
  


• People who are newly in love produce decreased levels of the hormone serotonin —as low as levels seen in people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Perhaps that’s why it’s so easy to feel obsessed when you’re smitten.
  Philadelphia International Airport finished as the No. 1 best airport for making a love connection, according to a recent survey.
  


• According to mathematical theory, we should date a dozen people before choosing a long-term partner; that provides the best chance that you’ll make a love match.
  


• A man’s beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex.
  


• Verona, the Italian city where Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet took place, receives around 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet every Valentine’s Day.
  


• When we get dumped, for a period of time we love the person who rejected us even more, says Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University and author of Why We Love. The brain regions that lit up when we were in a happy union continue to be active.
  


• There’s a reason why office romances occur: The single biggest predictor of love is proximity. Familiarity breeds comfort and closeness… and romance.
  


• One in five long-term love relationships began with one or both partners being involved with others.
  


• OK, this one may not surprise you, but we had to share it: Having a romantic relationship makes both genders happier. The stronger the commitment, the greater the happiness!