On Matters of Death and Cellphones

I've always wondered how other people would react or feel after I die or disappear, and today I saw the future.

In my excitement to come to school early for my Cellular and Molecular Biology class, I left my two phones at home. This wasn't the first time that I've done this; it has happened twice or thrice already this year. So when I realized that I wasn't able to bring my phones to school, I thought to myself, wala naman magtetext sakin, so I didn't feel the need to go back home and get them.

Little did I know that my mom has already left me with more than 20 messages and more than 50 missed calls from each phone. She has contacted almost everyone she knew from my circle of friends, both high school and college. My brother and sister also helped in trying to locate me or even one of my friends. They were able to contact my landlord and asked her to open my room and see if there's someone or something there that could possibly say where I could be.

While all of this was happening, I was busy running errands for school and spending most of the day walking and commuting for thesis work. I did not realize at all that everyone else was panicking, thinking I was already dead, or kidnapped, or gone missing. I got home around 7:10PM after my Literature class, and saw all these messages and missed calls.

A part of me feels good that I have a family that cares for me, worries about me, and remembers me. I'm thankful for the friends who panicked and helped my parents to look for me. But a greater part of me feels awful for being very careless and for not bothering to text my mom that I'll be coming home late today and that I forgot to bring my phones with me.

And so I realized, I don't want to die without having to say goodbye or without seeing the people who mattered the most to me. I don't want the kind of death that doesn't prepare you - a swift death. I'd rather go through a slow death; although painful, it gives me the chance to savor every last moment I can possibly have with my loved ones. And so today, I realized the value of having a cellphone and making sure it's always with me. Funny how most of our lives now depend and circulate on these little inventions.

Bad day #2 just beat yesterday's bad day #1. Please please dear God, these bad days cannot go on foreveeer.