projecting

after three very long weeks, i am finally home. for one whole month, i wouldn't have to worry about anything but how to spend my sembreak. screw those finals results. no matter how depressed i was last night while packing my things, and no matter how depressing my finals were, i don't care anymore. i don't want to keep on nagging myself on how i could have done better with my subjects. everything happened already, and me making it to the dean's list is nothing but a dream. i would be the happiest person if i do make it to the dl. and if i don't, 3 and a half more years mehn. that's a long way to go.

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i forgot how comforting it was to go home. i mean in my real home, and not in my small dusty room with rats lurking under my bed. even without the aircon or a 50 steps away mcdo, everything would still seem perfect. i could again wake up in the morning with no worries of the day's activities or with various choices of what to eat for breakfast. no more canned meatloaf or cold pandesal for one month! i am back in my comfort zone, getting all the comfort i want.

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projection was one of the best things i have learned this sem from my filipino class. sigmund freud explains that projection refers to the feelings one has for another and yet refuses to accept these feelings. simply put, A likes B but A refuses to believe that A likes B, thus A projects these feelings by teasing B to C. gets? it goes something like that. it's so weird to find out that there are explanations to these kind of involuntary actions. i think it's quite cool.

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projection goes beyond liking someone. it is a form of somehow escaping something, even for a while, you cannot accept immediately to your system. projection allows you to think, to ponder and to still have that glint of hope for something to happen.