I want to have a day that ends with me saying "I love this day!" Hay, it's been so long since I've had those kind of days.

for thoughts I cannot express anywhere else

I've been treating other people so badly in the past few weeks. I have been very ill-tempered towards my friends that I cannot be subtle about it anymore. I want to change my perspective. I want to be nicer to people and talk to them with a happier attitude. Let not anger rule over me. I must be happy. I must see that there is a positive thing in everything that I encounter. Help me God, please. I want to change my life.

hear hear! :(

Ooooooh the pain :(( I'm hungry and in pain. I need food. And painkillers too.

UAAP Season 72 Champions

Back to back champions! I don't mind losing my voice from shouting "Go Ateneo" or "Get that ball". I don't mind watching the game from the general admissions area. I don't mind cutting one class for the finals. I don't mind lining up for more than 3 hours just to get tickets.

I love my school, go Ateneo! One Big Fight! See you all at the bonfire HAHA

We keep on asking the same questions.

Ondoy

I'm really scared, scared of what will happen tomorrow or the day after. When I woke up this morning, I was so scared to go outside because I did not know whether it was still flooded or not. I realized the typhoon has subsided after a whole day of nonstop rain that, I read from the online news, killed more than 50 people. People are missing, and I am not sure whether among those 20,000 people, I have friends or schoolmates belonging to that big a number. I pray for good weather for the coming days and for the safety of the rest of the people and fast recovery of those who were affected by Ondoy.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for keeping me and my family safe. Thank you that we were not flooded, that we still have food to eat, and that we still have a sturdy home to stay in. Please keep all my loved ones safe and the rest of the people and their families as well. I pray for those who are still missing, may they contact us soon to tell us that they are safe. I pray for those who don't seem to care about what's been happening to the country. I pray for more people to donate and to volunteer. And I pray that this incident be a lesson for all of us. Amen.

Who would say no to these shoes? :O I waaaaant! Wala lang, I really want to save money for nice shoes. Just to relieve myself from the stress school's been giving me lately.

***

School's about to end in a few weeks, and I don't think I've done so well this semester. There's that feeling that I know I could've done better, but I guess this sem's been the most stressful yet, hence the unsatisfactory results. Hay. I pray for a better sem next sem (although Chemistry is coming back yikes) and greater stuff for Kythe.

***

I want to watch 500 Days of Summer. Who's with me? :>

hello sembreak

Most of the time I still feel so useless, regardless of the time and effort I give.

THANK YOU :)

Law of attraction says that if you really want something so badly, the whole world actually connives to help you get it... I really really really really (with a burning passion) want this, please world, help me have it? To be part of that list would mean so much to me and to my future, so please, can I have this thing I want?

I want to be stronger and to learn not to care about the little mistakes and failures.

Almira got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... ... that you are perfect as you are. God doesn't create faulty life. No. Everything created by God is perfect, and so are you. So stop driving yourself mad with endless ways to improve, and just accept the glory of your being as is.

YAY :D

"...freedom is not the ultimate value. Freedom is important because it enables the person to make choices; it capacitates him to exercise his responsibility to choose from several possibilities; freedom is what empowers a human being to express himself in and through the choices that he makes. But freedom is not the most important value. The ultimate value is man making a choice, that he expresses himself in the choice that he makes, and that he is ultimately responsible for his choices." (Dacanay, S.J., 2006)

Yesterday I made a choice. I decided that I really want to be a doctor. I really really want this dream, I'm just not sure where I'll study or if I can still afford to go to med school in 2 years. So help me God. :)

before i study

It's true that not everything I want is everything I need. I wish I was better at filtering things or people or experiences that I really need, so I don't have to go through the long and tiring process of regret most of the time.

For happier news, I'm looking forward to the UST Med School tour this Friday and Embassy's Yard Sale. I really wish I can go to both events AND still have time to study for the first theo long exam.

***

Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/almirauy

3 more thousand to go. :-<

three strikes

Are we done yet? Can I please get myself back on track and forget how shitty I've performed in the last month?

student life satisfaction: 2

because OSCI online enlistment was such a fail

The idea of berry picking seems to excite me, I don't know why. Bananas for breakfast, anyone?

Thank God Ateneo won yesterday. *hoping for a good score in the last Theo quiz*

the saving Facebook app

thank you :)

Almira got a message that on this day, God wants her to know...
... that humans learn only by trial and error, and that includes you.

You've got to live life, not think about it. Step into the midst of things, try and fail and learn and stand up again. The question is not whether you will or will not make mistakes - you will. The question is do you want to learn and grow, or do you want to shrink back and be stuck? Take that step you've been avoiding. You can succeed, or you can get feedback that it didn't work, but in either case you are sure to feel alive.

See what God wants you to know...

June 30 at 1:51am · Comment · Like · Read your Message from God

back to school

It's only the third week of classes and I already feel as if it's midterms season. Hay theo, you are eating me alive.

The days seem longeeeeeer. And I don't like it all. *sighs

Mistakes I wish I never made.

happy mood

I love my friends and the simplest things we can share. Now I want ice cream. Mmm.

The sun's shining.

I should seriously start learning how to set my priorities and responsibilities. You see priorities and responsibilities are two entirely different things and sometimes, what people tend to prioritize aren't really part of the things they are responsible for. Hay.

I need something to cheer me up. Seriously, call me unsatisfied but my chem lecture grade was not enough to lighten me up from the bad news I heard today.

It was mine already, why'd you take it away? :(

bittersweet

After more than a year, I finally got sick, as in the type of getting sick that you have no choice but to stay in bed as you cringe in pain coming from all parts of your body. My head was throbbing worse than it did when I bumped by head twice during judo sparring. At the same time, I felt nauseous and vomited every time I tried to stand up. Aside from that, my tummy wasn’t feeling good as well, forcing me to go to bathroom almost as frequent as vomiting. I couldn’t eat since the smell of food made me more nauseous. I stayed in bed for more than 12 hours trying to sleep everything off. My entire system hurt so much I cried in pain. HAHA. Seriously, I did. But nobody really saw me crying, since they thought I was just sleeping. But the weird thing about that day of getting sick is how I think I miss getting sick and the pain it gives me. For so long I’ve been immune from all kinds of sickness that I no longer remember how it felt to be sick. Not that I’m unappreciative of the healthy body I’ve been blessed with (because dear God I truly am!), it’s just that yesterday made me realize how those kids I visit almost every week in AFP hospital must feel having to endure that much pain I only experience once a year. How can they put up with that dizziness whenever they wake up from their sleep? Or the fuzzy feeling in their tummies that discomfort them? Or at the very least, the muscle pain they get from lying all day doing nothing?

Nonetheless, knowing how painful it must be for the kids to stay in bed all day, I also realized how nice it was to see and feel people taking care of you when you’re sick. Like yesterday, I saw how people in my house went in and out of my room to check up on me while I was “sleeping”. I liked how they checked my temperature by touching my forehead or my neck and how they tried to wake me up and invite me for downstairs while I simply replied with a weak nod. Also, the wet towel on my forehead, for me, is one of the sweetest and most comforting ways anyone can ever do for me. Just like in the movies, when the sick person lies on the bed sleeping while another character patiently waits for the sick to wake up and puts the significant wet towel over the forehead. And then the sick person gets better in the morning to see the other sleeping on his side. Aside from it being romantic, I think it’s one of the simplest yet most caring gestures anyone can do. Add to that warm towel over the forehead a hot soup of cream of mushroom with crackers on the side for the tummy and I feel much better already.

And with that, I realized this morning that maybe the reason why doctors want to be doctors and nurses want to be nurses is because they liked how it feels to make someone better. Maybe, not just them, but also the rest of us has this inner want to be a superhero or a doctor to somebody and help another person get better. As much as we all want to be cured from whatever pain we endure, we also want to provide comfort, warmth or care for other people.

every moment

One of my blockmates posted this in our block e-group. Inspiring in the simplest words. Read on.

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.
God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, 'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.
It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfil a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.

repudiation

One thing I learned from this semester is how to learn to give up on things that weren’t meant for me. There comes a point in our lives that no matter how much effort we can exert on something, it just won’t give in. And I’m not saying this out of bitterness or defeat or whatever sad note the first line may deceivingly entail. It’s actually my way of saying that when we give up on things we can’t get, it makes it easier for us to open ourselves on fresh opportunities, opportunities that may come risk-free and possibly more inviting than the previous.

In developmental psychology, we learned about repudiation. Repudiation is defined as letting go of one's less important identities, attitudes, or behavior. Repudiation can only take place if one successfully establish a concrete identity of himself and learns to be faithful to this identity. Even as the wind blows, this is who I am, that is the ideal identity we all want to achieve. So probably, just probably, this second sem was my period of repudiation, the period when I am (forced) to let go of my different identities, and settle for something better?

3 days

I miss writing and not caring if my psych professors will give me a high mark.

I miss reading books for the sake of simply reading them.

I miss going abroad.

I miss home-cooked meals.

I miss sleeping for long hours during lazy summer afternoons after class.

Surprisingly, I miss work in Batangas.

I miss having someone to go home to.

I miss looking forward to coming home, either to Batangas or to my dorm.

I miss my high school friends and their crazy antics.

I miss talking about how to un-bored(?) myself.

I miss Hana Kimi.

Hay, i miss a lot of things. And I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of things as well. Konti na lang.

stalling

13 days to go until freedoooooom. I can't wait to leave school and this sucky sem behind.

Summer, I shall eat you alive. I promise.


If not today, then tomorrow.

this is not an emo post

I am such a disappointment. I realize I am not good enough, not smart enough, not honorable enough. So now I wish I could be smarter, so you can be proud of me as well. So you wouldn't have to treat me as coldly as you do now.

It sucks when things remain uncertain, unsure and hanging.

There’s something wrong, but I can’t exactly pinpoint what. All I know is that I feel bad about something, that there’s something, and that I should not be feeling this way. I just hope tomorrow will get better. I hope tomorrow will give me answers.

GAAAAAH. Even stress-eating doesn't help relieve this discomfort. Hay.

Kythe flying

Today, I flew a kite, rode a fire truck and painted a smile in little Angelito's face. Despite of the thunderstorm this week has brought, I am happy. I am at peace. I love Kythe and how it can easily manage to make things a lot brighter and lighter for me.

Things will get better.

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

I want to eat tikoy, and I want to watch Fall Out Boy on February. :)

start the change NOW

Today was a bad day. If only bad days can just be bad hours, then these bad moments wouldn't have to ruin the long day ahead. Hay.

Thank God for sabaw blockmates, crazy burst shots and absobloodylutely true friends. :)

Atenista, SAKTO SA JANUARY 29 NA!

Let's go ACP promos team! Sign-ups start on January 19 until January 23.

January 19: Sophomores
January 20: Freshmen
January 21: Seniors
January 22: Juniors
January 23: FREE FOR ALL

Sign up today @ MVP 217! For more info, visit http://acpsakto.multiply.com

Walang pasok? SAKTO!

WALANG PASOK

Nasa Paninindigan ang Kabayanihan

Social Involvement Fair

Ang Unang Hakbang

Ang Social Involvement Fair (SIF) ay isang 3-day fair na naglalayong paigtingin ang diwa ng pakikisangkot at pagiging mulat sa mga suliraning panlipunan na kasalakuyang kinakaharap ng ating bayan. Hinahangad ng SIF na bigyang tugon ang mga suliraning ito sa pamamagitan ng pagbibigay sa mga mag-aaral ng pagkakataong makisangkot sa gawain ng iba't ibang mga non-government organizations (NGO) at organisasyong pang-estudyante.

Cultural Immersion
Taking the Plunge

The Cultural Immersion unit of the ACP is an invitation for students of the Loyola Schools to immerse in the diversity of Philippine culture so that they can realize the depth, color, and beauty of our identity as a people and in effect, see the strength of the Filipino. It is an invitation to build a nation that is proud of its art, history and heritage as well as a nation that is forward-looking and progressive. Take the plunge and get into a cultural immersion!

Political Education Workshop

Botong Atenista: Boto Mo Tungo Sa Pagbabago

Critical Thinking Classes
These are morning classes that are for mature voters who either want to be in the know or just want to be more responsible citizens. These classes will focus on certain social issues such as Cha-Cha, activism, etc. With the help from groups like IAMNINOY, Entablado, The Assembly and esteemed speakers, hopefully by the end of it the students will be knowledgeable in such topics and will be more concerned on the welfare of our country..

National Situationer For First Time Voters
These are afternoon classes that are aimed at the first time voters. The classes handled by Simbahang Lingkod ng Bayan (SLB) will eventually teach them to become responsible voters in the upcoming 2010 elections. It will also focus on issues such as good governance. It will feature a voter registration at the end of the session to provide the students with the opportunity to register for the upcoming 2010 elections.

Benefit Concert

!: Tandang Padamdam/Remember to Feel

A benefit and advocacy concert to culminate ACP 2009, featuring top local bands, Ateneo bands Fuzz and Hansom, CADS, celebrity guest appearances, an Inter-Org Rockband Competition and many many more. It is in cooperation with Dakila: Philippine Collective for Modern Heroism, Ninoy Aquino Foundation and I am Change Foundation. Proceeds will go to victims of natural disasters and charitable organizations.

Bands includ ItchyWorms, Pedicab and Sinosikat!

---

Four Components

One Goal

One Day

SAKTO!

Build the nation.

Take part in Ateneo's Alternative Class Program.

January 29, 2009

Sign-ups:

For Cultural Immersion and Pol-Ed Workshops:

Jan 19-23

(will follow batching system)

Monday 19 - Sophomores

Tuesday 20 - Freshmen

Wednesday - Seniors

Thursday - Juniors

Friday -Free for All

*classes are first come first serve as they are limited*

For the Social Involvement Fair:

Jan 26-28 @ Red Brick Road

For more information and the list of classes please visit http://acpsakto. multiply. com ...

Brought to you by the Sanggunian ng mga Mag-aaral ng mga Paaralang Loyola ng Pamantasang Ateneo de Manila.

I will remember this day as the day that I promised myself that I will rise from the ashes of chem failure (HAHA) and conquer the chemical kinetics and intermolecular forces that embody chemistry. I can do this!

Give me courage, grant me wisdom.

after the first long exam

Today turned out better than I expected. Unlike the disaster brought by the opening of classes last week, Monday started out nicely. Despite the lack of sleep, upset stomach and throbbing head, I like this day. Despite of the failure that was Theology Long Test, I'm glad I'm done with it. And despite of the coming Chemistry retake and Theology mock presentation, I'm looking forward to the end of the week. I think and I realize it's all about how we look at things. A little hope and optimism won't hurt. :)

I texted my mom tonight telling her, "Mama, ang hirap ng theo. Ang hirap ng chem." And thankfully, she replied, "Okay lang yan, mas mahirap kung hindi ka nag aral. At least nag try ka." Parang ako yung nagsasalita.

I've been really tired lately, physically and mentally. But a good friend once said, "it's better to experience physical pain because it leaves your mind off the emotional pain." True true. So let's bring on more physical stress!

On a side note, watch this video. Prime minister of Russia is a judo black belter. :O How cool is that, and it doesn't stop there. He even has his own how-to-judo video. Hahaha. Astig. I'd want a president who's like that.

2008 Year-end Survey

How was your 2008?

*****PLACES:

1) PLACE YOU HUNG OUT THE MOST IN THIS YEAR: Room in Katipunan, SOM Mall during first sem, Lib

2) FAVORITE NEW PLACE YOU DISCOVERED: Lib, 2nd floor by the reserve section for my soul searching activities :))

3) PLACES YOU WENT ON DATES: Uhh, the usual places? ;))

4) FAVORITE VACATION SPOT FOR THE YEAR: Long strip of beach resorts in Laiya, Batangas, Las Vegas

5) PLACES YOU MADE OUT IN (OR MORE) THIS YEAR: In my dreams HAHAHA

*****PEOPLE:

1) PERSON/S WHO TAUGHT YOU A LOT THIS YEAR: Myself, Doc Queena Lee-Chua

2) AN OLD FRIEND YOU REDISCOVERED THIS YEAR: Karen Andaleon, although only during the latter part of the year : |

3) PERSON WHO TOLD YOU THE NICEST THING ABOUT YOURSELF: I really don’t know heehee

4) PERSON WHO DID SOMETHING REALLY GREAT FOR YOU (AND WHAT): My SIBS loves for giving me my own birthday surprise YAY

5) PERSON YOU SPENT THE MOST TIME WITH THIS YEAR: Myself? Haha Members of the inseparable trio, PC Magnaye and Pat Sarinas and my “twin” Angel Tio Cuison

6) PERSON YOU DID SOMETHING REALLY GREAT FOR (AND WHAT): :-??

7) SOMEONE YOU WISHED YOU TALKED TO THIS YEAR: *sighs* I’ll try next year, seriously. When I’ve mustered enough confidence.

8) SOMEONE WHOM YOU STARTED A GREAT NEW FRIENDSHIP WITH: Kythe orgmates :D

9) OLD ENEMY/S YOU MADE PEACE WITH THIS YEAR: I don’t have enemies, only friends. ;)

10) SOMEONE YOU LOST THIS YEAR: *more sighs*

11) PERSON/S YOU KISSED THIS YEAR: Family O:-)

12) PERSON WHO MADE YOU LAUGH THE MOST: Blockmates!

13) PERSON WHO MADE YOU CRY: The John Lloyd-Bea movie One More Chance =)) =))

14) PERSON YOU DISLIKED WHEN THE YEAR BEGAN BUT ENDED UP BECOMING GOOD FRIENDS WITH: None that I know of

15) PERSON YOU CRUSHED ON THE ENTIRE YEAR: David Archuleta during the summer, then jumping from one to another during the rest of the year. Hahaha.

16) SOMEONE YOU WISHED YOU APOLOGIZED TO: Joanne Dimayuga, for not being there during here despedida party before migrating to Canada. Sorry sorry jo. : ((

17) PEOPLE YOU WENT OUT ON DATES WITH: Friends. Hahaha.

18) FRIENDS YOU WENT OUT WITH A LOT: Blockmates and Visit groupmates/orgmates

19) COOLEST PERSON YOU MET THIS YEAR: Sir Cuenca. 8->

*****STUFF:

1) CLOTHING ITEM YOU WORE MOST THIS YEAR: Jeans, obviously

2) NICEST PRESENT YOU GOT THIS YEAR: US trip during summer

3) FAVORITE SONG FOR THE YEAR: Amsterdam by Anberlin

4) COOLEST EVENT FOR THE YEAR: Kythe Circle of Life :D

5) NEW 'HOBBY' YOU PICKED UP THIS YEAR: Playing games in Facebook :|

6) BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR: I finished Jerry’s Spinelli’s Stargirl and Love, Stargirl this year. :x

7) BEST MOVIE: The Dark Knight definitely

8) MOST SHOCKING NEWS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Bolante’s return to the Philippines and his “heart attack” 8-|

9) FAVORITE FOOD FOR THE YEAR: Isaw sa UP

10) FAVORITE NEW ARTIST THAT CAME OUT THIS YEAR: The Ting Tings and... Jonas Brothers =))

*****LESSONS:

1) WISEST THING YOU DID THIS YEAR: Read my textbooks

2) STUPIDEST THING YOU DID THIS YEAR: Being too gullible

3) BIGGEST CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE THIS YEAR: Becoming more independent

4) BIGGEST CHALLENGE OF THE YEAR: Living alone

5) SOMETHING YOU LEARNED THE HARD WAY: Expecting something more often than not can make things worse.

6) GREATEST LESSON YOU LEARNED ABOUT:

A. LOVE – Love is bitter sweet. ;)

B. LIFE – For every failure we experience, something better is given back in two folds.

7) BEST JOKE YOU'VE HEARD ALL YEAR: I laugh at anything, so most of the jokes I heard were the best ones for me. Hahaha

8) BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE YEAR: David Archuleta not winning American Idol

9) BIGGEST BLESSINGS OF THE YEAR: Family :)

10) BIGGEST THING YOU DISCOVERED ABOUT THE WORLD: The world? Uhh, that in one way or another, we’re all connected by an invisible thread.

11) BIGGEST THING YOU DISCOVERED ABOUT PEOPLE IN GENERAL: They can surprise at the most unexpected time.

*****AND LASTLY!!!

1) GOALS/DREAMS FOR THE NEW YEAR:

Less of: Internet time hahaha asa

More of: Having fun, and studying :>

2) PREDICTIONS FOR THE NEXT YEAR ON:

A. LOVE – I want love, lots and lots and lots of it =)) =)) i kid!

B. CAREER – Continue doing what I’m doing, and probably decide if I’d want to go to med school or take a master’s degree

sneaky

And I was beginning to get comfortable by the fact that I've moved myself away from that chapter. I thought I was done. I guess I'm not. :-<

blessings and assholes

There are two kinds of people that exist in my world: people whom I appreciate, and people whom I completely abhor. Let me give you examples of these two types of human beans that exist.

It’s been two days since our house helper went home to her province to welcome the coming of the new year. With her absence, we are forced to work around the house. Work equals cooking, washing the dishes, watering the plants, feeding the dogs and what not. I don’t want to be such a brat and complain how difficult it’s been to do things on our own, but it really is. And I’m thankful that in a few more days, Ate will be coming back and our lives will go back to normal again. The 9 or so years that she’s been with us has made our lives a lot easier, and I feel like I haven’t thanked her enough for all the hard work. YAY go ate! :-) You see, she, along with other supermaids, should be honored properly. I know some people who treat their helpers simply as helpers, as slaves. And it pisses me off that these arrogant human beans call the wok saviors by their first names without any signs of respect like ate or manang. Konting respeto naman di ba. I mean, we should all thank them and show them how much we appreciate them because seriously, finding someone to trust our food, transpo or home on to can be really difficult these days. So let’s all rejoice and be thankful that for our yaya’s. :D

On the other hand, there are people we simply cannot take, people we should literally bury to the ground because they don’t deserve to receive any shed of light except hell’s. Do you know Nasser Pangandaman? Of course you do, he’s the good ol’ secretary of DAF who has consistently been meddling with the Sumilao/Calatagan farmers. We’ve all been hating him since then, but guess what he’s done this time. And now he has his son, Mayor Nasser Pangandaman, Jr., to join him in yet another crazy act. Like father like son. Politicans will always be politicians no matter where you place them. Be it in a mall, or in a golf course. TO HELL WITH YOU. These men especially prove why our country continues to flop. If they can't be good citizens, how the fuck can they be good politicians? Gaaaah, die Pangandamans! :| I pray Bambee de la Paz and the rest of her family gets the justice they and the rest of us deserve. Read more on this.

If only I ccan gather all the bad people in one enclosed area and bomb/suffocate/judo throw/shoot them to death, the country would be a much better place.

live today

On the night before Christmas, I finished reading Love, Stargirl. And right now, I’m thinking of the proper way of telling the story without actually telling the story. I don’t want to be blamed for spoiling anyone, right? Let me just suffice myself by saying that Jerry Spinelli did an amazing job of ending the novel. It didn’t end the way I first thought it would, but he did something better, something more than I expected at least. Spinelli, in Stargirl’s point of view gave me hope, inspiration and well, love.

I want to be like Stargirl. I want to have the same optimism she never ran out of. I want to have the same sunshine she brings to everyone she meets. And more importantly, I want to be hopeful, of something or of someone. I want to look forward to each day knowing that something good will happen. I want to count my happy pebbles and hope that it gets filled with every happy moment I encounter. And of course, I want my Leo. But well, this one’s for later. :)

gaudete

Forgive me for not attending mass for the last three weeks that I failed to realize it’s the third week of advent already. *gasps* Pink candle symbolizes the third week right? So anyway, I’m happy I attended the afternoon mass today. A priest from Batangas delivered the homily. He talked about commitment which came from a Latin word that meant “to carry”. When we commit to something, or to someone for that matter, we are entitling ourselves to an investment. He used the word investment to speak of time, effort, money and emotions. These were the things we give or share to someone when we commit ourselves, and he said that if we have invested more than enough of these things to the person, there’s no turning back. Why not? Because what’s the point, we’ve invested so much, why put them to waste? You’re already there, might as well make the best out of it. And that actually made a lot of sense, not just in a romantic point of view.

I spent the whole day trying to keep myself awake while studying for dev psych. And you know when you reach that point when it’s been 8 hours and you’re still not yet done, you just want to throw the stupid textbook and go home for the Christmas break. But then you realize that you’ve already invested so much of your time and energy, you can’t simply turn back and skip the hell week. You have to put all the things you learned into good use. So let's go hell week. :)

So after the mass I was walking along Katipunan with my dinner in one hand and I was in a way, introspecting about this coming week. I feel something good’s about to happen.

clearing the air

Thank you God! Exactly what I need to get myself back on track. Thanks so muuuuch. :D :D :D

COA MAGAZINE RESULTS

Congratulations to the following applicants for being accepted into the COA Magazine family. A message has been sent to your email inviting you to join the groups.

Maan Bernardino	Writer
Beng Villanueva	Creative Director
Dani De Castro	Managing Editor
Amae Geronimo	Creative Director
Geno Tolarbas	Writer
Mylene Ladan	Writer
Pauline Del Mundo	Writer
Almira Uy	Writer
Abby Castelo	Writer
Chase Sy	Features Editor
Claudia Fernandez	Managing Editor
Justin Gatuslao	Associate Editor

painful

Earlier today, I was running errands with a friend and talking about some shit that I normally don’t feel like talking about because, well, it hurts. There, I finally said it. I’ve been meaning to write something about it, but failed to do so only because putting my feelings into words somehow tells me that it is real, that the pain is here. But what the heck, it’s not the only thing that’s hurting me right now. I’ve got this minor shoulder pain due to my lack of capacity to do a proper rolling in Judo. I hate it. I try really really hard to understand the new lesson, but I just can’t. I end up making a fool of myself, while the rest of the class plus the varsity people look at me like I’m some crippled loser who can’t even execute a simple step.

And well, aside from the pain Judo’s been giving me for the past few weeks, my grades have been spanking me lately, slapping me to do better, to read the chapters and to write book notes. I don’t know why this semester is giving me all these bad energy, and worse part is, I can’t point my finger to anything or to anyone. This is all on me, me and my screwed decisions. I want to do better this semester. Although I’m extremely thankful for the turnout of the first semester, I’m scared for the current semester. People have been telling me that this sem will be easy, that my grades will reach their highest, but those comments just keep on raising me to the pedestal and pressuring me that I am supposed to do better, or else. Gaaaah.

***

When something ends or at least you think it's ending, does that actually guarantee that something is opening up for you? What if that window remains closed and you end up waiting for it to open, not knowing that it will never again open? I think, people are scared to put an end to something, because we are scared that we'll remain stagnated. We are afraid that nothing will be left for us. That's why we hang on to some bit of hope, because we refuse to believe that a window is closing.

I'm a walking splinter of hope. :)

mommy, I'm scared. Hug me. :(

don't give up. -natividad

I’ve been obviously busy with school work and the coming Kythe project. Although my schedule is a lot lighter compared to the first semester, I can’t seem to manage my time properly. Dunno why, I’m just not used to going home at 3PM that’s why I end up bumming around the lib or at the caf trying to waste time. Anyway, that’s not my point right now. Theo is becoming such a bitch right now, more than chem. I know, it’s weird. The readings seem easy enough to understand, but then, come class discussion, I’m left blank for 50 minutes while my management majors blockmates keep on raising their hands and answering/asking questions. I feel so stupid and faithless. We’ve had two quizzes and so far, I’ve failed both quizzes. *sob*

“Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope.” –Doing Theology

And I’m yet to find out what that explanation is. :-< Ah well, theo with natnat was never easy anyway.

For other news...

DLSU-United. UST-UNICEF. UP-Red Cross Youth. World Youth Alliance .Pre-Medical Society of Ateneo. Kythe Ateneo. 6 organizations. 1 cause. Help promote pediatric rights. Help heal. Join Kythe-Ateneo's Circle of Life Project! Join the poster-making and human chain to show your support for the children. Be a volunteer and contact us.

WHAT: Kythe-Ateneo's Circle Of Life Project
WHEN: November 30, 2008, 7:30am- 12nn
WHERE: Quezon City Circle

CONTACT: Angel(09193654443) or Mia(09169732222) or Kriselle (09209096426)

THIS IS OPEN TO ANYONE, so please message me if you're interested. Kk? ;)

three little birds

I want this week to end alreaaaaady. The first the three days felt like August when everything seemed to pile up on me, but the only difference is that August consisted of 30 days of torture.

7:30
Nobody wants to go to school early, especially for chem, but we didn’t have a choice. Boo. After going through the syllabus, our professor explained how different Ch11 will be from Ch7. M-m-m-m-math! More math, more formulas, more computations for this sem. Ohnoes. And I think the only reason I survived Ch7 was because I read the chapters and tried to remember the concepts. The computational part was just a shame. I’m scared for this one, seriously. I know I didn’t so well with my Math subjects back in first year, so I’m most likely to expect a not-so-good one for this subject.

BREAAAK
I don’t like long breaks anymore. Back in first year, I used to love these 2 or 3 hour breaks since they meant more time to play Pusoy Dos or lunch in Katipunan. But that’s so last year. :/ Who would a 2-hour break followed by Th121 (now this is another story) then another 1-hour break before the next class? Huhuhu. What makes the breaks even more undesirable is not being with my other blockmates. Sad I know.

1030
ilovetheoilovetheoilovetheo. I’m trying to force into myself a positive outlook on this subject, cos really, I don’t think I will survive if I see this subject in a different dramatic suicidal perspective (although it really is something I’d cry over). Thank God I was not alone though. During sembreak I was seriously panicking since I thought I didn’t have anyone with me in Natividad’s class, but what do you know, my good ol’ theo blockmates even offered me as the sacrificial lamb a.k.a. class beadle. But it’s okay, good chances of sucking up. =)) =)) =)) But you know, I haven’t heard of any other blocks that were chopped and shuffled into different theology blocks, like what the registrar sadly did to our block. It’s unfair how we’re stuck with the SOM people and are actually expected to be like them. Oh well oh well.

900
T-Th sched will probably kill me this semester since I’ll be having classes from 9am till 130. But it’s okay, I think it can be a good way for me to lose a few pounds with breakfast/lunch at 3 in the afternoon. HAHAHA, nice one. Plus, my professors seemed nicer and more considerate compared to the ones above. I mean, Manaois! People actually envy those who can get into Manaois. Lucky me. :P

200
One word… Judo. Fine, so I’m not the type who’s most likely to be seen choking someone or pinning someone, but seriously, you should see me tackle my brother when we were younger. It was similar to wrestling, only the kiddie version of it. So I thought why not try myself if I can still do it? It can’t be that bad right? What I don’t like about it is having to walk to Blue Eagle Gym 30 minutes after western history. No one likes to walk under the 1pm sun in heavy white denim judo uniform just to be thrown or pinned by your classmate. But other than that, judo sounds fun. I want to pin someone soon.


Aside from the slightly crazy schedule that I have for this sem, there are other things worth noting for the start of this semester. Have you noticed the new tiles in SOM and CTC buildings? I just think that Ateneo made a very good decision on that one. No more embarrassing oops-i-slipped moments during rainy days for me. Also, I’ve been seeing a lot of new faces for the past three days. These people that I’ve never come across to in the hallways for 2 years are suddenly my blockmates in different subjects. And well, there are those other familiar faces you’ve missed over the break, faces you wished weren’t the ones you’d first see on the first day, and faces that seemed to look at you differently now than before.

I’m praying for a better week next week because maybe I’m just not myself this week, or maybe I’m still not getting used to that fact that sembreak’s over. But regardless, I just want to feel better for myself and for this semester.

Thanks so much for crushing my ego. Really, thanks a lot dude. :)

hallo

I signed in to my messenger account tonight. Mmm, only a few people are online. I wonder why. Oh I don’t know *in a sarcastic tone*, maybe because most of my friends are out somewhere enjoying themselves during this semestral break. Either they’re not online, or they’re online with their display images featuring them in a beach background or in a where-you-should-be-this-sembreak background. And yes, I do feel sorry for myself that I have not gone out somewhere during this vacation while most people have been going out every day and night. I, too, want to go somewhere. Take me to the beach. Take me to the mall. Take me to Manila. Take me out of the country. Take me somewhere other than in front of my laptop.

Buuuuut, as it turns out, this night wasn’t as self-pityingand ego-bursting as I first thought it would be. After five months of no communication, no IMs, no text messages, no phone calls, I messaged my grade school best friend. Until now I don’t know why I did that since I’ve been seeing her going online-offline for a couple of weeks now and didn’t even bother taking a minute to talk to her. But tonight seemed different; I felt the urge to open up to her and just to see how things are going with her. Mabye because I was hoping I can vent my bitterness to someone or displace this self-pity to someone like here. Nonetheless, I’m more than happy I took that chance. I forgot how it felt to reconnect with someone you’ve known for so long and yet in this moment of reconnection, you are surprised to discover new things about each other. I miss talking to someone without holding anything back, without caring if I sounded gibberish and without thinking if I come off as someone different. I miss this, really I do. How can I let these chances of rekindling slip off my hands? I looked back to my old blog in Friendster and realized I wrote something about this same friend more than 4 years ago. I wrote about the same thing, about missing someone and missing the things we’ve used to share. It’s funny how a simple message can now make me feel a lot better than I was a few hours ago. Thank God for YM. Thank God for friends. Thank God for giving us the chance to reconnect and to renew what I thought we’ve lost.

On a side note, I'm still hoping for an outing or a gimmick before this vacay ends. But if not, there's always that Rihanna-Chris Brown concert to look forward to. Whoooo, time to memorize those songs!

sembreak's no fun at all

It’s ironic to realize that in spite of the long free hours that I spend in front of my laptop, I can’t seem to have the time or the effort to at least sign in to my blog account and to start typing whatever comes out of my mind. Well for one, it’s sembreak and with that comes work during the day, mall during the night and the rest of the evening in front of the computer. Sometimes it’s fun, but most of the time it’s boring especially when it’s been three hours and no one has IM-ed you. Hay, that’s sad. :P

I’ve been promising myself that I’d write a long post to sum up first semester, but I just couldn’t bring myself together to write anything decent. And then there’s that Kythe evsem “disaster” that I’ve been meaning to write about, buuuut same problem as above ---- tinatamad. So I think I’ll write about something else. I’ll vent about something that doesn’t require much brain energy from me. I’ll complain about different attempts to make this sembreak meaningful.

Malaysia: FAAAAIL
Seryoso, I thought we’d be going there this break since my dad has been talking about how beautiful the Petronas towers were and how enjoyable the Genting highland was. So being little miss eager, I researched about Malaysia for a week. I tried looking for travel agencies that offer packages to KL and other Malaysian destinations. I looked through the different hotels and tourist spots (and even restaurants) just to foresee where we’ll be staying. But then my dad decided to cancel the trip because the weather isn’t good for traveling during this time of the year. Uhh yeah, so much for my meaty research and package proposals.

Genting Highland

uhh some dark cave :P

*sigh*

Driving lessons
I haven’t actually inquired about it yet, but I’m not so sure if’ I still have enough time to learn how to drive. How many days does it usually take? I really want to learn, although I don’t know if I really need to know how to drive. It’s not like my parents will be buying me a car as soon as I learn how to drive. Nonetheless, it’s kind of awesome that I’d learn something new during this vacation. I’m still hoping I’d get a chance to learn. It will only be possible if I’m not too lazy to drop a line to the driving school.

Night walking: FAAAAIL
Sembreak is supposed to be the best way to implement a proper diet or weight loss program, but it looks I’ve been doing nothing but postponing my prepared weight loss plan to the next day. Before I know it, I’d be gaining a LOT of weight and ending up, well, fat. Hay, sad. Just so you know, I tried to do my night walking once. I just didn’t have the time, aka tinamad, after that night.

Kythe Circle of Life
If you could only see what I wrote in that timetable for the event, you’d kill me now for not doing ANY of those things I’ve listed. Laziness really is at its best during breaks; it drags you to this little circle and lets you out only after the sembreak. I tried to write the e-mail to be sent for the different yahoo groups, but I’m not entirely proud of it. The email looked pretty dull and sounded very shallow. Oh well, I have 34 more days to make this event as good as we hoped it to be.

Beachbeachbeach
I wanna go to the beach! NOW! I’m working hard on this one, tyring to look for the best beach resort for my family. Nobody wants to spend their all souls’ day at home right? Or in the cemetery? Do you have suggestions? Laiya, Batangas is nice and all, but sometimes you get tired of the same view, of the same food and of the same company.

daddy please, can we go here on november 1? please please. *bats eyelashes*

You see, I’ve been seriously trying to put energy into my sembreak, to add life to it, but every time I try to, nothing seems to work. I just want to lie on my bed to sleep or to read a few pages of the book I’m currently reading.

"There are certain things you can't undo. You can only go forward. " -Haruki Murakami (South of the Border, West of the Sun)

Freudian

I’m scared of people. When I was younger, I didn’t make much friends. I was usually alone or shifted from one friend to another. I knew even then that there has to be something wrong with me, that’s why my social life isn’t as healthy or isn’t as normal as other kids. But I didn’t mind that then. I was okay being alone.

But the repercussions of my behavior during childhood are catching up with me now. The fact that I wasn’t the friendliest person in the world now hinders me from socializing with other people. I’ve grown up, gained friends, belonged to different cliques, and learned to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but these milestones did not necessarily erase my fear of people. Yes, I still get scared of greeting people just because I am overcome by the feeling of rejection. It’s been my lifelong problem, and I’m not sure if there are people who feel the same way (if there are, please tell me). High school and college opened me to the reality that I can’t always be scared, and that I’m not the only who’s scared. All of my schoolmates, classmates are just as scared as I am when we are faced with strangers we don’t know. But we adjust, we let down our guards, we make friends. But then, our childhood never leaves us. It has been the pillar of our personality, no matter how good or bad it has been. And as for me, I have to live with the fact that when I was once a child, I didn’t have as much friends as I had hoped. That discomfort of being with other people still brings butterflies in my stomach, those butterflies that come with big boots thumping me inside to the point that I’d want to back out. My tummy’s like that right now, rolling with discomfort because in the next two days, I’ll face a bus full of strangers. I’m scared, but I have to overcome this fear. I have to be stronger. I have to rely on myself that I can go through this on my own. I’m no longer the 9 year old girl that I used to be, I’ve changed for the better. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a better ending for this week starting today, because the first three days of my free week in Katipunan have been… blaaaaah. Please please God, hear my prayers. :(

these things again

Why does one hold on so much for the things that he thinks matter? Why are there things one considers to be important and unimportant? And why does it seem like everything is important? Because of this, one cannot ever let go of these “important” things. Why can’t one let go? Why can’t one easily move on? Why does one have to be very sentimental that one tends to hold on to every seemingly vital memory one associates with something?

I’m clearly confused. Instead of speaking out my thoughts, I’m writing them. After taking my two hour nap (I was deciding if I should carry on sleeping till the next day), I fixed my study table and cleared up the post it’s on my wall. I was actually debating with myself whether or not I should throw away these post it’s I’ve had since the start of the semester. Almost all of them contained a memory I wanted myself to remember. They even come with the date and time I wrote them. ^__^ But yeah, I decided to throw them away to clear my table and to give myself a sense of freedom from the first semester. Getting back to my point, it’s not only these post it’s that reminded me of the important things you know. But my point is, why? Why do we hold on to them so much, to the point that we end up stagnated? We can’t move on, even if we are supposed to, even if we are pushed to or forced to. Maybe people can’t move on or let go of the memories they’ve had of something because they’re not just ready yet. But when will we ever be prepared? Sometimes, I wish we just don’t get attached to these things, these feelings, these people in the first place, so we wouldn’t have to let go of anything.

i need a hug

Help me please. :( Please make me stronger, more confident, and more resilient.



Slow Me Down - Emmy Rossum

Rushing and racing
and running in circles
Moving so fast, I’m forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere

My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic
Pace of the world
I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I’ve got it together
falling apart

Save me
Somebody take my hand, and lead me
Slow me down
Don’t let love pass me by
Just show me how
‘Cause I’m ready to fall
Slow me down
Don’t let me live a lie
Before my life fly by
I need you to slow me down

Sometimes I fear that I might disappear
In the blur of fast forward I faultier again
Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep
getting nowhere

All that I’ve missed I see in the reflection
Passed me while I wasn’t paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
falling apart

Tell me
Oh won’t you take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don’t let love pass me by
Just show me how
‘Cause I’m ready to fall
Slow me down
Don’t let me live a lie
Before my life flys by
I need you to slow me down

Just show me
slow me down, slow me down

The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breathe, somebody please

who's the geek now?

My youngest sister’s sick today. After getting all made up as the flower girl for a family friend’s wedding, she ran a fever immediately after she walked down the aisle. So my parents had to take her home as soon as the mass ended. I wasn’t there when it happened because I was too busy working, but my mom told me my baby sister was crying cos she’s worried she might not be able to finish studying for her quarterly exams, and she’s scared she might not be able to take her exams this coming Monday. Just so you know, this is my seven year old sister talking here okay, not some college student panicking due to an unexpected fever before exams week. So when I heard my mom’s story, I laughed hard since I thought I was just like her before (I used to cry when I can’t bring myself to sleep by 8PM). But my sister’s quite different. I mean, 7 year old kids don’t cry over not being able to go to school for their exams. They get tantrums when their parents fail to buy them the toys they want or when they fight with their siblings. But no, my sister’s a geek. I want to think of a psychological explanation why she’s like this, but my brain’s also on sembreak mode. My mom’s story was just too funny that I felt like sharing.

My sister's sitting beside me right now, despite of feeling all dizzy and nauseous, she's asking me questions about the parable of the Prodigal Son and the Ten Commandments.

because sembreak's the perfect time to waste your time answering surveys

Grabbed from Zyrelle. :) I should be sleeping right now, but the coffee, it's keeping me awake. :/

You're stuck on an elevator with the person you've fallen the hardest for, what do you do?
~ PHWEEEEEE. ;)) ;)) malamang kinikilig na ako during this time di ba, but you gotta play it casually. I'll probably try to keep a conversation going in order to avoid any awkward moment. Or if i'm close to the person, play a game with him ;)) ;)) ;))

Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
~Depends if I like him or not. If I do, tell him how I feel the same way and then we'd both be happy. If I don't like him, *sigh* sorry dude, I can only be your friend. I'll find him another girl if he wants.

If you're dying and if you ever wanna live to see another day, you're forced to snort cocaine, do you do it?
~Most likely, if it means having a few more days to live.

If you woke up in one of the Saw movies, do you think you could survive?
~Mmmm, I haven't seen any Saw movies, so I don't reall know. But I think I will. :))

You have to dye your hair a different color for the rest of your life, what color do you choose?
~Medium to dark brown hair color complements my skin tone, so yeah, I'd go for brown.

You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?
~Eeeeeh, tattooes are dirty :-s Do I really have to get one? 'Cause getting a tattoo risks my chances of being a doctor, so nevermind. :P BUUUT, if i really have to get one, i like the angel wings tattooed on my back, like the one kc montero has? Have you seen that? Uber cool :))

Are you mad about anything?
~I'm frustrated that I can't stop myself from being controlled by my grades :(

Are you listening to music?
~Uh-huh. The Graduation Song by Dave Matthews Band

Do you smoke weed everyday?
~Nope, haven't even tried.

Could you go a month without cursing?
~I don't think so. :|

Are you currently reading a book?
~Well I started reading South of the Border, West of the Sun by Murakami during my trip to Batangas a few hours ago.

Have you ever ridden a horse?
~Yeahhh, ages ago :| Those smelly horses in Tagaytay and Baguio.

What's the funniest movie you've ever seen?
~Superbad? I dunno, I laugh at anything eh even if it's not funny. O_O

Are you scared of sharks?
~Not really. Unless you have had an experience with them, I don't think you'd develop any fear against sharks. That's according to behaviorist perspective I think? :))

What are you wearing?
~Spaghetti-strapped night gown I've been wearing since grade school =))=))

Next president?
~I'm usually apathetic when it comes to politics, but I'd go for Roxas in case he'll run for president. Just cos I've had the chance to interview him before. Heehee.

Can you honestly say that things are running smoothly for you?
~For now yes, since I'm on sembreak mode, but after a month, it'll be back to academic turmoil. :-<

What's your view on taking risks?
~There are things such as measured risks, sometimes it's okay to take risks but if you know that they're not worth it, wag na lang. :P

Would you rather trade in your ipod or computer/laptop and every detail stored in it for 10,000 dollars?
~Give me first some time to transfer all my files before I say yes.

Does your heart come with a key, or is it already taken?
~I'm thinking. Cos a tita of mine once mentioned that we shouldn't keep our hearts locked with a key since it means we're "locking" ourselves up from oppurtunities. So, I have a heart with open doors. HAHAHAHA. Ang cheesy pota :|

How'd your day go, by the way?
~Oh it was fun. Surprised my parents today, cos they thought I'll be coming home on Saturday after finals, but surprise surprise. :)) And oh oh, my laptop's fixed! \:D/ It's unusually fasterrrrrr now. YAY.

Which do you prefer on your toast: butter, jelly, peanut butter, or Nutella?
~butter, lots and lots of butter.

Are you a Gatorade drinker?
~Okay lang, I like the blue one the most. Yucky yun orange, tastes like medicine.

You see a shooting star, do you make a wish?
~Opkors.

How do you handle your hair once you finished washing it?
~Part it, comb it 2 or 3 times, then let it dry on its own.

Do you have relatives living in a different country?
~Yes.

Do you turn on the lamp when it's bright out?
~Uhh no?

Have you ever been addicted to WoW or SC?
~ /:)

When it rains, do you go out and start to dance?
~When I was younger. The first rain of May daw was supposed to be good for the health? Labo I know. :))

What are you listening to right now?
~Cute Without the 'E' by Taking Back Sunday

Do you get carried away with things?
~Yeah, most of the time.

Which is better? Long or short hair?
Contrary to what most people think, short hair is harder to manage. :| Long hair siguro, but then it's too hot to maintain a long hair. For guys, clean cut's always better than long hair. :))

True or False? Goths are losers.
~False. They're just different, that's all. :P

What is the first thing or word that comes to mind when you hear the word EMO?
~Black.

Do you like roller coasters?
~Yes sir. Water rides are also cool.

Do you like high-boots?
~Nah, they don't fit the weather eh.

True or False? Smoking is completely stupid and disgusting.
~Erase completely, they are stupid and disgusting, but then again there are things which are far more stupid and disgusting.

How much do pop-ups suck?
~Very much =)) sorry, wala na ko maisip.

Are puppies cute?
~Cute to look at, but not to touch. :| I don't like pets sorry.

Pancakes are yummy, yes?
~Yes yes yes! Especially with lots of butter and syrup and sausaaaaaage. =P~

Your eye color is:
~Black? Or probably dark dark brown?

What is the meaning of life?
~Mmm, I'l return to this question later. :P

Is lying ok to do if it`s to help someone?
~There's such a thing as a white lie, so I think it's okay IF you're sure it will really really help.

Do you happen to be afraid of heights?
~Not really, I'm more afraid of chickens. "Flying" chickens/roosters are scary :-s

Is it a big deal if someone doesn`t believe in God?
~Belief is a choice, so you're not supposed to bother yourself knowing someone doesn't believe in God. Maybe that person believes in other things?

People who cut themselves are:
~lonely. :(

Do you happen to be bored?
~Yeah, obviously. =))

sembreaaaak

Finally, I’m done for the semester. Actually I’m two days early. My sembreak’s supposed to officially start on Saturday, but thanks to Sir Cuenca’s amazing math skills, I’m fuh-reeeeee. \:D/ I’m working on a really long post right now, but I want to make it a good one so I will be posting it soon. For now, let these pictures show how the latter part of the first semester went.

You can't actually see it, but my planner's been very busy as well. No gray areas (or at least I try to avoid them) for three months. :| And well aside from school shit, my days are usually spent going out with friends or sucking up with org work. HAHA. But it's actually cute seeing my planner and how colorful it has turned.

Bad girls :/ Ayaw makinig ni Pat sa physio lecture eh, look what happened, F for the 2nd LT. Ah well, thanks again Sir Cuenca! You know we love you. And just so you know, that lecture was really really really boring. If I remember it right, he was talking about menstrual cycle and how much sperm is secreted during ejaculation. :O Or maybe not.

We didn't have tickets okay. So we had no choice but to watch on TV, or in this case, on a huge LCD projector at the Blue Eagle Gym. It was surprisingly fun though, cos all the while I thought watching the game on TV compared to watching it live was so lame. Well, it was not as exciting, BUT with a crowd like that, it was okay. Besides, WE WON!!! And I have a championship shirt (thank you dar and nikka!) to prove it.

These were the drinks that gave me that stupid allergy. Well, i only had one glass, i just took a picture of all of them together because i think they look cute in their different colors. :)) Drinking is actually kind of nice. *stops and shrieks with that realization* Only because it makes you feel happy, light and lightheaded. And it's true, it does make you more talkative. Like you actually don't care about what you're saying. Funny funny. Or maybe those are all just part of the placebo effect? Mmm, I dunno, but I wish I don't have this allergy against alcohol cos no one likes seeing her skin turn red and itchy. And I don't like seeing my whole face turn red and my eyes bloodshut.

Despite of the quicksand looking Bel field and my precious purple shoes turning brown, the victory bonfire was fun. Period. No wait, I actually overestimated the event. I thought I'd have a great time, but my friends and I ended up walking around trying to find a spot that's not too muddy. After getting tired of standing and drooling over the athletes, we sat for the rest of the night. Sushi pulubi. =)) Dahil tamad kami at wala nang pera, we sort of stole this platter of sushi and 3/4 bottle of pepsi from other people's table. They left already and sayang naman yung food di ba? And oh, some kid left a stick of pork barbecue... you know what we did with it. =))=))=)) But we're fiiiine, strong intestines eh. HAHA.

letter to a young activist

Do not depend on the hope of results. When you are doing the sort of work you have taken on, essentially an apostolic work, you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results but on the value, of the work itself. And there, too, a great deal has to be gone through, as gradually you struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people. The range tends to narrow down, but it gets much more real. In the end it is the reality of personal relationships that saves everything.
You are fed up with words, I don’t blame you. I am nauseated by them sometimes. I am also, to tell the truth, nauseated by ideal and with causes. This sounds like heresy, but I think you will understand what I mean. It is so easy to get engrossed with ideas and slogans and myths that in the end one is left holding the bag, empty, with no trace of meaning left in it. And then the temptation is to yell louder than ever in order to make the meaning be there again by magic. Going through this kind of reaction helps you to guard against this. Your system is complaining of too much verbalizing, and it is right.
… the big results are not in your hands or mine, but they suddenly happen, and we can share in them; but there is no point in building our lives on this personal satisfaction, which may be denied us and which after all is not that important.
The next step in the process is for you to see that your own thinking about what you are doing is crucially important. You are probably striving to build yourself and identity in your own work, out of your work and your witness. You are using it, so to speak, to protect yourself against nothingness, annihilation. That is not right use of your work. All the good that you will do will come not from you but from the fact that you have allowed yourself, in the obedience of faith, to be used by God’s love. think of this more and gradually you will be free from the need to prove yourself, and you can be more open to the power that will work through you without you knowing it.
The great thing after all is to live, not to pour out your life in the service of a myth; and we turn the best things into myths. If you can get free from the domination of causes and just serve Christ’s truth, you will be able to do more and will be less crushed by the inevitable disappointments. Because I see nothing whatever in sight but much disappointment, frustration and confusion.
The real hope, then, is not in something, we think we can do, but in God who is making something good out of it in some way we cannot see. If we can do His will, we will be helping in this process. But we will not necessarily know all about it beforehand…
Enough of this… it is at least a gesture… I will keep you in my prayers.

All the best in Christ,

TOM

For our last physio lecture, Sir Cuenca gave us this handout. He told us that it was okay for us to throw away all our previous readings, except for this one. It was given to him by one of his professors and he has kept this handout for 16 years and still counting. Let it remind us of why we are here and of what should keep us striving. Good read! :)