a splinter left

when i thought i will be having a long fun and fruitful weekend, once again, she has managed to ruined it all. i was already listing down my what to buy's for our trip to manila tomorrow, it was supposed to be a christmas shopping, when she told me that she's cancelling the trip. my mood turned from super excited to super pissed. why does she have to do it all the time? why does she have to ruin my perfect moments? why does she have to purposely break my heart? this is not about just shopping anymore, this is about her and her evil plan of making me feel that i do not deserve, even at the least, to feel good about myself.

i am a total wreck, if that's what you want to make me feel. in fact, that's the only thing i can feel from you. i never felt any sign of happiness from you for me. neither did you feel or even appreciate any feeling i have for you. you never appreciated all the things i do. you never knew how much i try to get your attention and let you know that i can be as wacky or kulet as my other siblings. you never felt so happy to know that i won a contest or anything. i never felt any mark of being proud that i'm your daughter. it's as if nothing happened. all that you ever gave me is a splinter from your heart, a tiny little piece that keeps me going and believing that someday, you will wake up and realize how much i love you and how much you have missed from me.

i know you will soon wake up. i know you'll make up from your losses. i just wish this splinter would be enough to keep my hopes up until that waking moment.