It sucks when things remain uncertain, unsure and hanging.

There’s something wrong, but I can’t exactly pinpoint what. All I know is that I feel bad about something, that there’s something, and that I should not be feeling this way. I just hope tomorrow will get better. I hope tomorrow will give me answers.

GAAAAAH. Even stress-eating doesn't help relieve this discomfort. Hay.

Kythe flying

Today, I flew a kite, rode a fire truck and painted a smile in little Angelito's face. Despite of the thunderstorm this week has brought, I am happy. I am at peace. I love Kythe and how it can easily manage to make things a lot brighter and lighter for me.

Things will get better.

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

I want to eat tikoy, and I want to watch Fall Out Boy on February. :)

start the change NOW

Today was a bad day. If only bad days can just be bad hours, then these bad moments wouldn't have to ruin the long day ahead. Hay.

Thank God for sabaw blockmates, crazy burst shots and absobloodylutely true friends. :)

Atenista, SAKTO SA JANUARY 29 NA!

Let's go ACP promos team! Sign-ups start on January 19 until January 23.

January 19: Sophomores
January 20: Freshmen
January 21: Seniors
January 22: Juniors
January 23: FREE FOR ALL

Sign up today @ MVP 217! For more info, visit http://acpsakto.multiply.com

Walang pasok? SAKTO!

WALANG PASOK

Nasa Paninindigan ang Kabayanihan

Social Involvement Fair

Ang Unang Hakbang

Ang Social Involvement Fair (SIF) ay isang 3-day fair na naglalayong paigtingin ang diwa ng pakikisangkot at pagiging mulat sa mga suliraning panlipunan na kasalakuyang kinakaharap ng ating bayan. Hinahangad ng SIF na bigyang tugon ang mga suliraning ito sa pamamagitan ng pagbibigay sa mga mag-aaral ng pagkakataong makisangkot sa gawain ng iba't ibang mga non-government organizations (NGO) at organisasyong pang-estudyante.

Cultural Immersion
Taking the Plunge

The Cultural Immersion unit of the ACP is an invitation for students of the Loyola Schools to immerse in the diversity of Philippine culture so that they can realize the depth, color, and beauty of our identity as a people and in effect, see the strength of the Filipino. It is an invitation to build a nation that is proud of its art, history and heritage as well as a nation that is forward-looking and progressive. Take the plunge and get into a cultural immersion!

Political Education Workshop

Botong Atenista: Boto Mo Tungo Sa Pagbabago

Critical Thinking Classes
These are morning classes that are for mature voters who either want to be in the know or just want to be more responsible citizens. These classes will focus on certain social issues such as Cha-Cha, activism, etc. With the help from groups like IAMNINOY, Entablado, The Assembly and esteemed speakers, hopefully by the end of it the students will be knowledgeable in such topics and will be more concerned on the welfare of our country..

National Situationer For First Time Voters
These are afternoon classes that are aimed at the first time voters. The classes handled by Simbahang Lingkod ng Bayan (SLB) will eventually teach them to become responsible voters in the upcoming 2010 elections. It will also focus on issues such as good governance. It will feature a voter registration at the end of the session to provide the students with the opportunity to register for the upcoming 2010 elections.

Benefit Concert

!: Tandang Padamdam/Remember to Feel

A benefit and advocacy concert to culminate ACP 2009, featuring top local bands, Ateneo bands Fuzz and Hansom, CADS, celebrity guest appearances, an Inter-Org Rockband Competition and many many more. It is in cooperation with Dakila: Philippine Collective for Modern Heroism, Ninoy Aquino Foundation and I am Change Foundation. Proceeds will go to victims of natural disasters and charitable organizations.

Bands includ ItchyWorms, Pedicab and Sinosikat!

---

Four Components

One Goal

One Day

SAKTO!

Build the nation.

Take part in Ateneo's Alternative Class Program.

January 29, 2009

Sign-ups:

For Cultural Immersion and Pol-Ed Workshops:

Jan 19-23

(will follow batching system)

Monday 19 - Sophomores

Tuesday 20 - Freshmen

Wednesday - Seniors

Thursday - Juniors

Friday -Free for All

*classes are first come first serve as they are limited*

For the Social Involvement Fair:

Jan 26-28 @ Red Brick Road

For more information and the list of classes please visit http://acpsakto. multiply. com ...

Brought to you by the Sanggunian ng mga Mag-aaral ng mga Paaralang Loyola ng Pamantasang Ateneo de Manila.

I will remember this day as the day that I promised myself that I will rise from the ashes of chem failure (HAHA) and conquer the chemical kinetics and intermolecular forces that embody chemistry. I can do this!

Give me courage, grant me wisdom.

after the first long exam

Today turned out better than I expected. Unlike the disaster brought by the opening of classes last week, Monday started out nicely. Despite the lack of sleep, upset stomach and throbbing head, I like this day. Despite of the failure that was Theology Long Test, I'm glad I'm done with it. And despite of the coming Chemistry retake and Theology mock presentation, I'm looking forward to the end of the week. I think and I realize it's all about how we look at things. A little hope and optimism won't hurt. :)

I texted my mom tonight telling her, "Mama, ang hirap ng theo. Ang hirap ng chem." And thankfully, she replied, "Okay lang yan, mas mahirap kung hindi ka nag aral. At least nag try ka." Parang ako yung nagsasalita.

I've been really tired lately, physically and mentally. But a good friend once said, "it's better to experience physical pain because it leaves your mind off the emotional pain." True true. So let's bring on more physical stress!

On a side note, watch this video. Prime minister of Russia is a judo black belter. :O How cool is that, and it doesn't stop there. He even has his own how-to-judo video. Hahaha. Astig. I'd want a president who's like that.

2008 Year-end Survey

How was your 2008?

*****PLACES:

1) PLACE YOU HUNG OUT THE MOST IN THIS YEAR: Room in Katipunan, SOM Mall during first sem, Lib

2) FAVORITE NEW PLACE YOU DISCOVERED: Lib, 2nd floor by the reserve section for my soul searching activities :))

3) PLACES YOU WENT ON DATES: Uhh, the usual places? ;))

4) FAVORITE VACATION SPOT FOR THE YEAR: Long strip of beach resorts in Laiya, Batangas, Las Vegas

5) PLACES YOU MADE OUT IN (OR MORE) THIS YEAR: In my dreams HAHAHA

*****PEOPLE:

1) PERSON/S WHO TAUGHT YOU A LOT THIS YEAR: Myself, Doc Queena Lee-Chua

2) AN OLD FRIEND YOU REDISCOVERED THIS YEAR: Karen Andaleon, although only during the latter part of the year : |

3) PERSON WHO TOLD YOU THE NICEST THING ABOUT YOURSELF: I really don’t know heehee

4) PERSON WHO DID SOMETHING REALLY GREAT FOR YOU (AND WHAT): My SIBS loves for giving me my own birthday surprise YAY

5) PERSON YOU SPENT THE MOST TIME WITH THIS YEAR: Myself? Haha Members of the inseparable trio, PC Magnaye and Pat Sarinas and my “twin” Angel Tio Cuison

6) PERSON YOU DID SOMETHING REALLY GREAT FOR (AND WHAT): :-??

7) SOMEONE YOU WISHED YOU TALKED TO THIS YEAR: *sighs* I’ll try next year, seriously. When I’ve mustered enough confidence.

8) SOMEONE WHOM YOU STARTED A GREAT NEW FRIENDSHIP WITH: Kythe orgmates :D

9) OLD ENEMY/S YOU MADE PEACE WITH THIS YEAR: I don’t have enemies, only friends. ;)

10) SOMEONE YOU LOST THIS YEAR: *more sighs*

11) PERSON/S YOU KISSED THIS YEAR: Family O:-)

12) PERSON WHO MADE YOU LAUGH THE MOST: Blockmates!

13) PERSON WHO MADE YOU CRY: The John Lloyd-Bea movie One More Chance =)) =))

14) PERSON YOU DISLIKED WHEN THE YEAR BEGAN BUT ENDED UP BECOMING GOOD FRIENDS WITH: None that I know of

15) PERSON YOU CRUSHED ON THE ENTIRE YEAR: David Archuleta during the summer, then jumping from one to another during the rest of the year. Hahaha.

16) SOMEONE YOU WISHED YOU APOLOGIZED TO: Joanne Dimayuga, for not being there during here despedida party before migrating to Canada. Sorry sorry jo. : ((

17) PEOPLE YOU WENT OUT ON DATES WITH: Friends. Hahaha.

18) FRIENDS YOU WENT OUT WITH A LOT: Blockmates and Visit groupmates/orgmates

19) COOLEST PERSON YOU MET THIS YEAR: Sir Cuenca. 8->

*****STUFF:

1) CLOTHING ITEM YOU WORE MOST THIS YEAR: Jeans, obviously

2) NICEST PRESENT YOU GOT THIS YEAR: US trip during summer

3) FAVORITE SONG FOR THE YEAR: Amsterdam by Anberlin

4) COOLEST EVENT FOR THE YEAR: Kythe Circle of Life :D

5) NEW 'HOBBY' YOU PICKED UP THIS YEAR: Playing games in Facebook :|

6) BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR: I finished Jerry’s Spinelli’s Stargirl and Love, Stargirl this year. :x

7) BEST MOVIE: The Dark Knight definitely

8) MOST SHOCKING NEWS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Bolante’s return to the Philippines and his “heart attack” 8-|

9) FAVORITE FOOD FOR THE YEAR: Isaw sa UP

10) FAVORITE NEW ARTIST THAT CAME OUT THIS YEAR: The Ting Tings and... Jonas Brothers =))

*****LESSONS:

1) WISEST THING YOU DID THIS YEAR: Read my textbooks

2) STUPIDEST THING YOU DID THIS YEAR: Being too gullible

3) BIGGEST CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE THIS YEAR: Becoming more independent

4) BIGGEST CHALLENGE OF THE YEAR: Living alone

5) SOMETHING YOU LEARNED THE HARD WAY: Expecting something more often than not can make things worse.

6) GREATEST LESSON YOU LEARNED ABOUT:

A. LOVE – Love is bitter sweet. ;)

B. LIFE – For every failure we experience, something better is given back in two folds.

7) BEST JOKE YOU'VE HEARD ALL YEAR: I laugh at anything, so most of the jokes I heard were the best ones for me. Hahaha

8) BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE YEAR: David Archuleta not winning American Idol

9) BIGGEST BLESSINGS OF THE YEAR: Family :)

10) BIGGEST THING YOU DISCOVERED ABOUT THE WORLD: The world? Uhh, that in one way or another, we’re all connected by an invisible thread.

11) BIGGEST THING YOU DISCOVERED ABOUT PEOPLE IN GENERAL: They can surprise at the most unexpected time.

*****AND LASTLY!!!

1) GOALS/DREAMS FOR THE NEW YEAR:

Less of: Internet time hahaha asa

More of: Having fun, and studying :>

2) PREDICTIONS FOR THE NEXT YEAR ON:

A. LOVE – I want love, lots and lots and lots of it =)) =)) i kid!

B. CAREER – Continue doing what I’m doing, and probably decide if I’d want to go to med school or take a master’s degree

sneaky

And I was beginning to get comfortable by the fact that I've moved myself away from that chapter. I thought I was done. I guess I'm not. :-<

blessings and assholes

There are two kinds of people that exist in my world: people whom I appreciate, and people whom I completely abhor. Let me give you examples of these two types of human beans that exist.

It’s been two days since our house helper went home to her province to welcome the coming of the new year. With her absence, we are forced to work around the house. Work equals cooking, washing the dishes, watering the plants, feeding the dogs and what not. I don’t want to be such a brat and complain how difficult it’s been to do things on our own, but it really is. And I’m thankful that in a few more days, Ate will be coming back and our lives will go back to normal again. The 9 or so years that she’s been with us has made our lives a lot easier, and I feel like I haven’t thanked her enough for all the hard work. YAY go ate! :-) You see, she, along with other supermaids, should be honored properly. I know some people who treat their helpers simply as helpers, as slaves. And it pisses me off that these arrogant human beans call the wok saviors by their first names without any signs of respect like ate or manang. Konting respeto naman di ba. I mean, we should all thank them and show them how much we appreciate them because seriously, finding someone to trust our food, transpo or home on to can be really difficult these days. So let’s all rejoice and be thankful that for our yaya’s. :D

On the other hand, there are people we simply cannot take, people we should literally bury to the ground because they don’t deserve to receive any shed of light except hell’s. Do you know Nasser Pangandaman? Of course you do, he’s the good ol’ secretary of DAF who has consistently been meddling with the Sumilao/Calatagan farmers. We’ve all been hating him since then, but guess what he’s done this time. And now he has his son, Mayor Nasser Pangandaman, Jr., to join him in yet another crazy act. Like father like son. Politicans will always be politicians no matter where you place them. Be it in a mall, or in a golf course. TO HELL WITH YOU. These men especially prove why our country continues to flop. If they can't be good citizens, how the fuck can they be good politicians? Gaaaah, die Pangandamans! :| I pray Bambee de la Paz and the rest of her family gets the justice they and the rest of us deserve. Read more on this.

If only I ccan gather all the bad people in one enclosed area and bomb/suffocate/judo throw/shoot them to death, the country would be a much better place.

live today

On the night before Christmas, I finished reading Love, Stargirl. And right now, I’m thinking of the proper way of telling the story without actually telling the story. I don’t want to be blamed for spoiling anyone, right? Let me just suffice myself by saying that Jerry Spinelli did an amazing job of ending the novel. It didn’t end the way I first thought it would, but he did something better, something more than I expected at least. Spinelli, in Stargirl’s point of view gave me hope, inspiration and well, love.

I want to be like Stargirl. I want to have the same optimism she never ran out of. I want to have the same sunshine she brings to everyone she meets. And more importantly, I want to be hopeful, of something or of someone. I want to look forward to each day knowing that something good will happen. I want to count my happy pebbles and hope that it gets filled with every happy moment I encounter. And of course, I want my Leo. But well, this one’s for later. :)

gaudete

Forgive me for not attending mass for the last three weeks that I failed to realize it’s the third week of advent already. *gasps* Pink candle symbolizes the third week right? So anyway, I’m happy I attended the afternoon mass today. A priest from Batangas delivered the homily. He talked about commitment which came from a Latin word that meant “to carry”. When we commit to something, or to someone for that matter, we are entitling ourselves to an investment. He used the word investment to speak of time, effort, money and emotions. These were the things we give or share to someone when we commit ourselves, and he said that if we have invested more than enough of these things to the person, there’s no turning back. Why not? Because what’s the point, we’ve invested so much, why put them to waste? You’re already there, might as well make the best out of it. And that actually made a lot of sense, not just in a romantic point of view.

I spent the whole day trying to keep myself awake while studying for dev psych. And you know when you reach that point when it’s been 8 hours and you’re still not yet done, you just want to throw the stupid textbook and go home for the Christmas break. But then you realize that you’ve already invested so much of your time and energy, you can’t simply turn back and skip the hell week. You have to put all the things you learned into good use. So let's go hell week. :)

So after the mass I was walking along Katipunan with my dinner in one hand and I was in a way, introspecting about this coming week. I feel something good’s about to happen.

clearing the air

Thank you God! Exactly what I need to get myself back on track. Thanks so muuuuch. :D :D :D

COA MAGAZINE RESULTS

Congratulations to the following applicants for being accepted into the COA Magazine family. A message has been sent to your email inviting you to join the groups.

Maan Bernardino	Writer
Beng Villanueva	Creative Director
Dani De Castro	Managing Editor
Amae Geronimo	Creative Director
Geno Tolarbas	Writer
Mylene Ladan	Writer
Pauline Del Mundo	Writer
Almira Uy	Writer
Abby Castelo	Writer
Chase Sy	Features Editor
Claudia Fernandez	Managing Editor
Justin Gatuslao	Associate Editor

painful

Earlier today, I was running errands with a friend and talking about some shit that I normally don’t feel like talking about because, well, it hurts. There, I finally said it. I’ve been meaning to write something about it, but failed to do so only because putting my feelings into words somehow tells me that it is real, that the pain is here. But what the heck, it’s not the only thing that’s hurting me right now. I’ve got this minor shoulder pain due to my lack of capacity to do a proper rolling in Judo. I hate it. I try really really hard to understand the new lesson, but I just can’t. I end up making a fool of myself, while the rest of the class plus the varsity people look at me like I’m some crippled loser who can’t even execute a simple step.

And well, aside from the pain Judo’s been giving me for the past few weeks, my grades have been spanking me lately, slapping me to do better, to read the chapters and to write book notes. I don’t know why this semester is giving me all these bad energy, and worse part is, I can’t point my finger to anything or to anyone. This is all on me, me and my screwed decisions. I want to do better this semester. Although I’m extremely thankful for the turnout of the first semester, I’m scared for the current semester. People have been telling me that this sem will be easy, that my grades will reach their highest, but those comments just keep on raising me to the pedestal and pressuring me that I am supposed to do better, or else. Gaaaah.

***

When something ends or at least you think it's ending, does that actually guarantee that something is opening up for you? What if that window remains closed and you end up waiting for it to open, not knowing that it will never again open? I think, people are scared to put an end to something, because we are scared that we'll remain stagnated. We are afraid that nothing will be left for us. That's why we hang on to some bit of hope, because we refuse to believe that a window is closing.

I'm a walking splinter of hope. :)

mommy, I'm scared. Hug me. :(

don't give up. -natividad

I’ve been obviously busy with school work and the coming Kythe project. Although my schedule is a lot lighter compared to the first semester, I can’t seem to manage my time properly. Dunno why, I’m just not used to going home at 3PM that’s why I end up bumming around the lib or at the caf trying to waste time. Anyway, that’s not my point right now. Theo is becoming such a bitch right now, more than chem. I know, it’s weird. The readings seem easy enough to understand, but then, come class discussion, I’m left blank for 50 minutes while my management majors blockmates keep on raising their hands and answering/asking questions. I feel so stupid and faithless. We’ve had two quizzes and so far, I’ve failed both quizzes. *sob*

“Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope.” –Doing Theology

And I’m yet to find out what that explanation is. :-< Ah well, theo with natnat was never easy anyway.

For other news...

DLSU-United. UST-UNICEF. UP-Red Cross Youth. World Youth Alliance .Pre-Medical Society of Ateneo. Kythe Ateneo. 6 organizations. 1 cause. Help promote pediatric rights. Help heal. Join Kythe-Ateneo's Circle of Life Project! Join the poster-making and human chain to show your support for the children. Be a volunteer and contact us.

WHAT: Kythe-Ateneo's Circle Of Life Project
WHEN: November 30, 2008, 7:30am- 12nn
WHERE: Quezon City Circle

CONTACT: Angel(09193654443) or Mia(09169732222) or Kriselle (09209096426)

THIS IS OPEN TO ANYONE, so please message me if you're interested. Kk? ;)

three little birds

I want this week to end alreaaaaady. The first the three days felt like August when everything seemed to pile up on me, but the only difference is that August consisted of 30 days of torture.

7:30
Nobody wants to go to school early, especially for chem, but we didn’t have a choice. Boo. After going through the syllabus, our professor explained how different Ch11 will be from Ch7. M-m-m-m-math! More math, more formulas, more computations for this sem. Ohnoes. And I think the only reason I survived Ch7 was because I read the chapters and tried to remember the concepts. The computational part was just a shame. I’m scared for this one, seriously. I know I didn’t so well with my Math subjects back in first year, so I’m most likely to expect a not-so-good one for this subject.

BREAAAK
I don’t like long breaks anymore. Back in first year, I used to love these 2 or 3 hour breaks since they meant more time to play Pusoy Dos or lunch in Katipunan. But that’s so last year. :/ Who would a 2-hour break followed by Th121 (now this is another story) then another 1-hour break before the next class? Huhuhu. What makes the breaks even more undesirable is not being with my other blockmates. Sad I know.

1030
ilovetheoilovetheoilovetheo. I’m trying to force into myself a positive outlook on this subject, cos really, I don’t think I will survive if I see this subject in a different dramatic suicidal perspective (although it really is something I’d cry over). Thank God I was not alone though. During sembreak I was seriously panicking since I thought I didn’t have anyone with me in Natividad’s class, but what do you know, my good ol’ theo blockmates even offered me as the sacrificial lamb a.k.a. class beadle. But it’s okay, good chances of sucking up. =)) =)) =)) But you know, I haven’t heard of any other blocks that were chopped and shuffled into different theology blocks, like what the registrar sadly did to our block. It’s unfair how we’re stuck with the SOM people and are actually expected to be like them. Oh well oh well.

900
T-Th sched will probably kill me this semester since I’ll be having classes from 9am till 130. But it’s okay, I think it can be a good way for me to lose a few pounds with breakfast/lunch at 3 in the afternoon. HAHAHA, nice one. Plus, my professors seemed nicer and more considerate compared to the ones above. I mean, Manaois! People actually envy those who can get into Manaois. Lucky me. :P

200
One word… Judo. Fine, so I’m not the type who’s most likely to be seen choking someone or pinning someone, but seriously, you should see me tackle my brother when we were younger. It was similar to wrestling, only the kiddie version of it. So I thought why not try myself if I can still do it? It can’t be that bad right? What I don’t like about it is having to walk to Blue Eagle Gym 30 minutes after western history. No one likes to walk under the 1pm sun in heavy white denim judo uniform just to be thrown or pinned by your classmate. But other than that, judo sounds fun. I want to pin someone soon.


Aside from the slightly crazy schedule that I have for this sem, there are other things worth noting for the start of this semester. Have you noticed the new tiles in SOM and CTC buildings? I just think that Ateneo made a very good decision on that one. No more embarrassing oops-i-slipped moments during rainy days for me. Also, I’ve been seeing a lot of new faces for the past three days. These people that I’ve never come across to in the hallways for 2 years are suddenly my blockmates in different subjects. And well, there are those other familiar faces you’ve missed over the break, faces you wished weren’t the ones you’d first see on the first day, and faces that seemed to look at you differently now than before.

I’m praying for a better week next week because maybe I’m just not myself this week, or maybe I’m still not getting used to that fact that sembreak’s over. But regardless, I just want to feel better for myself and for this semester.