man for others

our InTACT (Introduction to Ateneo Culture and Tradition) exposure trip was a visit to Lualhati ng Maynila, a refuge center for senior citizens who were either abandoned or seen bumming around the streets.

to be honest, i was really scared and hesitant of approaching the lolo's and lola's in the center. i saw an old man with a face towel wrapped around his neck. he looked newly washed and ready to mingle with us. he was walking toward us, and i suspected he'd be trying to start a conversation. i don't why but i had this scary feeling that he'd scold me or spit at me once he approaches us. instinctively, i pretended to busy myself with the program preparation so as to avoid conversing with the old man. the same thing happened to the rest of the senior citizens. i thought they were all looking at us with their piercing eyes as if telling us why we were there, what trouble do we bring. i was not at ease.

the program started and the decided activity was a 3-set bingo. they said old people enjoy bingo with their bingo wings. haha. anyway, so we were tasked to partner up with one or two old people and help them in playing the game. i had no choice but to talk to them and try to be as comfortable as possible. i had two lola's playing with me. although they didn't talk much either, i figured they were as anxious as i was. nonetheless, they enjoyed the game.

the whole activity only lasted for about three hours, but my body felt so tired after those three short hours of playing and trying to connect with my partners. we left the place without even properly saying our goodbyes. they went off immediately after the facilitator said it was time for lunch. meanwhile, we decided not to bother them while they were eating and so we left the center.

i texted my mom after i arrived back in katipunan complaining about how smelly the place was and how bugnutin the old people were. i told her i was already tired. she then replied telling me, "what if i grow old, would you throw me there as well? would you not wash my butt when i no longer can't?" i texted her back "why would i send you there? tssss"

what if i would later on eat my words? what if i would send my parents to home for the aged? were these the same comments the children of these lolo's and lola's when they abandoned their parents? i can never imagine myself ignoring my parents or worse, abandoning them. what kind of child would do that? how can someone be so ungrateful of what his parents have done for him in the past? i am pissed with people who refuse to thank those who did them well, and yet here i am ranting on how disgusting the place smelled and how stubborn the old people were. i don't want to end up leaving my parents behind or being the one who is left behind. although they do not talk about it, i can feel how depressed these old people feel whenever they see strangers coming to them and taking pity on them.

by the end of the day, my InTACT adviser reiterated the irony of helping others. no matter how much we try to help or no matter how much we want to help, we just can't. there are times that we just have to let things go; otherwise, people would think of our good deeds as a way to make them even more shameful.