20 things to 20 people

i know this thing has long worn off already, but i felt like i wanted to do it anyway.

20 things you want to tell 20 people. i don't want to give hints, since that would ruin the whole point of the game, right? here goes.

1. i miss you guys so much. i may have days when i couldn't reply to your messages or IM you, but i hope these indifferent-sounding actions would not let us fall apart. there are days when i wished i was with you guys rather than being alone, but i know it's not as easy as i wished it to be.

2. the everyday good morning messages are my little signs that i miss you and that i want to go home. every message i send means a lot to me. i am not that sure if they mean the same thing to you.

3. i saw you grow up from an innocent baby to an annoying brat. and yet i wish you'd stay young forver, because i don't want to see you having crushes or getting kilig over the opposite sex or crying over an exam. i wish you could stay young and never go through the pains i had before.

4. we are only 40 minute train ride from each other and yet we've never had even dinner together, or a trip to the mall. i thought once i went to manila. we'd spend more time together and make up for the lost time, but we never did. stay safe, i can never watch over you all the time.

*okay, so this post is getting emotional and cheesy. apologies. :P*

5. you were part of my past that i would never look back to, ever. you were a mistake. >:)

6. i can never forget the way you treated me before. *yes, i am angry.* you were one of the reasons my childhood didn't work out so well. i promised myself i would never greet you even if i pass by you every so often.

7. and i thought we could never bring it back to normal. i thank God for bringing us together again. it was not plain coincidence, but fate. big huuuug for you.

8. i know it's not ok, but sooner or later it will be. time is the only indicator of how things will turn out. all you can do is hold on. there are people around you who love you and are waiting for you to hug them and to cry on their shoulder. i'm one of them. i know it's hard to forget what happened, but he doesn't want you to forget either. he wants you to remember him and the closeness you two once had. i love you. :)

9. the one-million dollar question, where do you guys eat? =)) =)) okay, weird. but i really want to know. i want to be friends with you guys, but i just can't because i don't know how.

10. i'm laughing about you now. i still couldn't get over the fact that i was head over heels obssessed with you. are you really that cute? HAHAHA. landi. anyway, got over you now. you got older. :P

11. hindi ka bading, hindi ako papayag. :((

12. despite how stressed i get over the things you make me do, thank you. because you gave me the chance to be something other than a nerd.

13. i just wanted to decide on my own, why is it such a big deal to all of you? is it because yo cannot get over the fact that i'm on my way to achieve something you never got?

14. i still have no idea what you mean to me. there are days when i like you and days that i just don't know. i wish that someday, you will surprise me. :-<

15. sometimes, i just wanted to leave you only because i'm getting tired of seeing you.

16. i want to meet you again and see if there can be something, anything. because i still hang on to the hope that you are my dream guy. *daydream*

17. please don't be dense. and please be man enough to accept whatever you would later on hear. you are both my friends and i don't want any of you to get hurt.

18. i need a hug. it has been years since you last gave me one. :((

19. if only had the money, i'd buy you that bag you wanted. hahaha.

20. please come home for christmas. :(