the trick is to keep breathing

My horoscope for the day: “Everything is starting to fall into place -- you're seeing people in a new light.” I know it’s not really encouraged that we believe in such random statements, but I kind of got used to the habit of reading it anyway. And most of the time, my astrological readings seem to fit in the picture. Well, except for today’s horoscope. How can everything start to fall into place when they don’t have a place to fall into? How can I see people in a new light when in fact there is no new light? It seemed to me that whenever I try to give up things I promise I will, I just couldn’t. They keep coming back; they just won’t leave. And I am not sure if they are something good or something I have to take double thinking.

Entrance exams results released. In one week, dlsu and admu released their test results, and thankfully I managed to pass both exams. I am now waiting for up and ust, so conitune to pray for me. So here’s the thing. Before, I have already convinced myself that entering ateneo would not be included in my list of school options. First of all, because it seemed like so impossible to pass that school, with an honors program. Second of all, where the hell can I find the money to finance my ateneo future? As suggested by kenji, it is advisable to rob a bank. Now that’s an idea right? So I asked if I could accompany him or take some extra for me. Haha. Another brilliant idea. Getting back, after finding out my results and after freaking out (the good kind), my mind got all confused, again. For so many days, I have been daydreaming of myself strolling in the ateneo grounds, bs psych, group studying with my friends, and plainly, reaching the peak of my dreams. Admu seemed like the perfect school for me and for anyone else and now that I have the ticket and it’s within my reach, I still cannot have it. A lot of things continuously hinder me from entering my dream university. I thought passing ateneo was the fulfillment of my dreams, the missing piece in my puzzle, but I guess I was wronged. Everything just got worse.

Want to know my new year’s resolution? I promised to let go and to forget all those bastards. And when I mean bastards, I meant those creatures that perfect the art of making you believe that they’re into you but really aren’t, those viruses that cause you to catch the HR syndrome, those jerks who brag about their looks that they look stupid doing it. Argh, Damn them. So this year, I promised to erase them in my list. So please allow me to quote nhet’ s infamous words, “Studies first”. Haha. But once again, promises are broken and resolutions are forgotten. They came back, or rather, never left. And they continue doing what they do best, making us fall yet again.

We just finished our third quarterly exams and I could say this has got to be the worst quarterly exam ever. First, I had, and still have, a bad case of colds. I have creating a solo cold symphony in class, and everyone just laughs. And what’s worse than colds? Colds while answering a long stupid exam I can hardly get. Answer. Pause. Blow. Answer sabay blow. Music to their ears and relief to my clogged nose. So what’s worse than worse? How about failing almost all your exams? Gawd, I told this is the worst qe. Well, that’s okay; I kind of pictured it already.

So what happened to my horoscope? Nothing, total opposite. I have proved that not all horoscopes are real. Well, at least mine. But still, things not falling into place and people not being seen in a different light do not stop me from living. I have learned something. The trick is to keep breathing.