when fools rush in

Erik Erikson states that adolescents ages 16-21 are in the conflict of identity versus role confusion. It’s during this period that we are on the search of our own identity, supposedly not influenced by friends or other people around us. Failing to realize who we are, what we’re good at, what our passion is or on what part of society we belong delays the period of adolescence. And worse, delay leads to role confusion. In simple words, role confusion is not being able to identify ourselves among others that we are likely to copy or imitate instead of creating our own unique persona. Other than role confusion, Erikson states that we can’t really advance into the next stage, young adulthood, if we fail adolescence. In young adulthood, it’s an argument between intimacy and isolation. And this is where we begin to think. How many friends do I know have had relationships during the adolescence period? A LOT. And how many of these relationships last? Only 5 or 7% did.

Relationships during adolescence barely last primarily because it’s just not time for those things. Adolescence focuses on gaining our identity, and by identity it doesn’t mean knowing us as the girlfriends or boyfriends of [insert partner’s name here]. I don’t think anyone wants to be known that way, right right? But why then do we continue to want a relationship? Why do we keep on hoping and waiting someone would approach us and tell us he or she likes us? Why do we even entertain this kind of thoughts despite knowing that now isn’t the right time to think about intimacy? The theories are there, laid out flat for us, to grab and to hold, but we refuse to follow them or worse ignore them, because we'd rather let our own selves take their own course in dealing with such things. And by not minding the theories, we end up defeated still. The facts win, our own foolish selves lose.

If everything is supported by a theory, that would mean everything is provided with a reason right? But then why when we are asked to provide a meaning for something, we can't readily give reasons for things? We end up dumbfounded, unintelligent and naive of why things are.