was hanging on for hope

I should say, last night was definitely one of the best nights ever. I never thought you’d talk to me. More, you even asked for my help in some subject, honestly, I am not actually good at. But how can I refuse you? I mean, this was supposed to be the chance for you and I to somehow get to know each other more and my chance to rebuild our lost friendship. I prioritized finishing your homework rather than doing tons of paper work I was supposed to do for that night. We were so happy, at least that’s what I thought. No shyness hindered me from showing who I really am. And last night, I began to hang on for hope, again. I don’t expect you to leave our almost perfect girl just to be with a no close to perfection girl like me. Not that kind of hope. I expected that at least you will again consider me as someone you can to talk to anytime, and not just somebody you can ignore when we pass by each other at the corridor. You’ve given me that hope last night. I thought we’d be friends again, that last night was the start of something better. But I guess you have been my friend, only last night. I have hoped for so much last night, that so much has been lost as well today.

I saw you today twice. Well, I was expecting I would bump in to you today, hoping you would give comments of last night’s ‘talk’, but in those two times we’ve met, you seemed not to know me. You didn’t even greet me nor nod your head. It was like I never existed in your world. How can you be like that? How can you treat me like you only talk to me when you need something? I know I have been kind of a fool, helping you with things, but I think of them as opportunities to know you. I guess we don’t have the same purpose. Maybe, you just wanted to get the better of me. Am I really just your tutor, ready to help you when you need it? You are such a fake. Why can’t you just leave me alone and let me try to forget about you. I have been trying so hard, but you just keep coming back. Try to be real, even for once. I just don’t want to hang on for hope anymore.