the morning after

It’s true, nothing ever comes out perfect. No matter how much you prepare for something, it will not guarantee to disaster proof whatever you’re planning.

And my prom is not excused from any mishaps either.

Spell kapangitan. I hated my hair. It didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I just wanted simple. And the gay meant something else with simple. Yeah sure, it was simple, but not the simple I wanted. And imagine the tons of spray net he put on my hair! Even the make up wasn’t as good as last year’s.

Early arrival. Being so excited for the prom and conscious of getting late, I arrived very early for prom. Good thing, I had some friends to hang out with and make pula with while waiting for the start of the prom. Gawd, it was just so fun secretly laughing at other people’s looks. I mean, prom is a night of fashion do’s and don’ts. Haha. And our number one don’t, blue hair won’t win you any award. A big NO. I just realized, arriving early isn’t bad after all, so better not include this one. Lol.

A woman’s right to shoes---comfortable shoes. I have been complaining all night about how bad my feet hurt. The prom hasn’t even started and they were already aching hell. The stupid 3-inch stilettos I bought supposedly for mass dance almost ruined my night. I still managed to dance and dance and dance even though my feet were hurting. Anything for a dance. Haha.

Lost and found and lost again. It was just a joke I pulled and was not supposed to be taken seriously. I am so sorry you have to go and look for me in the crowd. Really, it’s okay for me not to dance with you. And I’m sorry I took up some of your prom time just to try to look for a moving target.

A text away. This has got to be one of my biggest regrets for the night morning. Well, I just gave myself the benefit of the doubt, but wasn’t too patient to wait that I did benefited. I read your message too late. The prom was over. Too bad I didn’t have my last dance with you. Well, you could’ve approached me and asked me yourself, but you didn’t. I had my “what if’s”, but I realized there was something better than having a last dance with you, a last dance with the people who cherish and love me more than you ever will. I don’t blame myself for not reading your text earlier because I know if I did, I might just look too pathetic in front of you, asking you to dance with me. no bitterness anymore.

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For one fleeting moment, I realized one thing. Maybe I am really not in love with you. During that two minutes being alone with you, the sparks didn’t fly. There was no feeling of happiness that finally I am getting what I’ve dreamt of since last year’s prom. I was only happy, laughing on how silly you were trying to play with me, but frankly, hindi siya nakakakilig at all. haha. silly me.

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Just to remember how silly I have been during that moment...
Know I havent slept a week at all
Since you’ve been gone
And my eyes are kinda tired
From crying all night long
Know I’ve never been too good at cooking just for one
It’s so lonely here without you darling
Come back home

‘Cause I’m half crazy
Feelin’ sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you’d find someone else to love

Know life hasnt been much fun at all
Since you’ve been gone
And my eyes being to feel
Each time I hear a sound
I spent every minute asking myself
What went wrong
Can’t we try to talk it over baby
Come back home

‘Cause I’m half crazy
Feelin’ sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you’d find someone else to love
But baby there is no-one else
Half crazy
For everything you saying
Half crazy
No one else could love you like I do

‘Cause I’m half crazy
Feelin’ sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you’d find someone else to love
But baby there is no-one else
Half crazy
For everything you saying
Half crazy
No one else could ever love you
No one else could ever be

Half crazy
Feeling sorry for myself
And I’m worried you’ll find someone else
Feeling sorry for myself
Half crazy