Journal Entry #13

As I close this summer semester with a good meal at Earle's in Ortigas (yes, I also go to the office once in a while), followed by a despedida party for a friend entering the seminary, and supposedly by drowning in good music while drinking... non-alcohol drinks *winks*, I realize it wasn't such a bad summer after all. During the start of the summer, I wished hard that this summer be one of the most memorable ones considering it will be my last summer as a college student. As soon as the second semester of last school year ended, I made a list in my mind of the things I want to for this summer. And judging from what I remember from that list, I don't think I achieved anything. Oh well, that's sad. But I think I did achieve things or do things I never imagined myself doing. Mmm let's see. So... awesome things I did this summer:

1. Worked for MEGA

2. Commuted to Manila area alone

3. Volunteered for OrSem

4. Tried to exercise

5. Had a lot of me time

I know they don't seem much, but for me, they really do. I guess, this summer's not really about how many beaches I've been to (but I do hope I can write something on this soon before summer ends) or about how much money I've earned from internship. To me, this summer was the time I focused on myself, on my needs, my strengths and weaknesses. This was the summer that I realized, got confused, and perhaps-rerealized what I want to do with my life. The re-realization is still an ongoing project, but that's okay! At least now, after my foundations have been shaken for a while, I'm trying my best to come out as a stronger person with a more determined goal for the future.

I can't say it has been the perfect summer of my college life, maybe last summer was better. Hahaha. But whatever, as Artie from Glee said, dreams aren't supposed to be easy. And perhaps, having the perfect summer is not very easy as making a list of things I want to do.

Journal Entry #12

Summer sem's is about to end, and so is my internship. After writing my integration paper for practicum class, I realized a few things about this summer, my last summer class as a college student.

1. You can never be too sure.

This summer has been very stressful and emotional for me. For one, I didn't get the position I was aiming for in my organization. Losing is clearly not my thing, and so is not getting what I want. I've been so used to getting the things I wanted, that not getting them felt so horrible. I guess, this is where I say that The Secret clearly doesn't seem to work all the time. Before, I thought, wishing and praying so hard for something I want will be enough to secure me that spot or that thing. Sometimes, we're not just meant to get the things we want, because perhaps, or as I would like myself to believe now, there are better things that we are meant to have.

This was also the summer that i had my first shot at the NMAT. I was telling my little sister it was like the most important long exam I will ever take in my college career, and yet, I barely passed. For three years, I've worked so hard trying to keep my grades up and in this one shot to maintain those high grades, I let myself down. You've read my previous posts regarding this, and writing about it again just pulls me down.

Because of these things, I realize that I can never live a life that's so sure, that's so planned out. I've been living the comfortable life of knowing what I want to do today and in my future, and this summer shook me really hard and slapped me in the face with the unpredictability of life. I may be confused now, but I think this is a good thing. Going out of my comfort zone is perhaps one of the best things I can give myself right now.

2.

... I can't think of a number two. :( I guess, that's the most important thing I learned this summer, that life really is unpredictable, spontaneous, surprising, astonishing even. And my internship for BluPrint actually made me realize that even more. You can never have a typical day because you can never predict what will happen to you today, especially when you're working for their company. It was an experience I will always remember, but not necessarily go back to. Haha.

Journal Entry #11

It’s been more than a week since my last journal entry. Work-wise, nothing interesting has been happening lately. I’m still “working” on my assignment on the Old Manila movie houses. No progress on that one. However, on things unrelated to work, it’s been quite crazy. Well for one, elections just happened yesterday. And if I’m not mistaken, the results are out. Not very happy or thrilled about the country’s next set of leaders. Actually, I don’t like them at all. Hahaha. Elections aside, school is slowly becoming very stressful. Requirements have been coming in like crazy. In less than two weeks, the summer sem is over. YAY for that one. But what I’m more excited about it is the after-summer classes plan. I’ve made so many plans and committed to so many people that I’m now scared how I’ll ask permission to go to all these gimmicks. Pray I be allowed and that all the summer sem requirements end soon. I have to work hard for that QPI!

Journal Entry #10

Remind me again why I'm taking Biochem this summer. :| I hate this prions report; I've been sitting in front of my desk for 12 hours now, and I still have nothing to write. Long weekends tend to make you lazier than a normal weekend would. Hate hate hate myself right now, and the long weekend of course. Haha.