Monday, November 26, 2007

mondays without a passion

i have always believed that mondays are important days of the week. they foretell how the whole week would go. a good start meant a good end. and obviously a bad start stretches throughout the week. there is a 98% chance that this is true. i have proven it for countless times. the other 2% of me being wrong include weeks with holidays. no matter how bad the week was, but if, say christmas, is within that week, all negativity usually vanishes. i wish it was christmas already, so that i can have a reason to look forward to for the rest of the week. but 29 days far from the 25th and still more hell days to go through.

today is monday, the last monday of the month. i woke up feeling heavy already. last night was not a good night. i went to bed at around 9:30 since i had an early pe the next day. 10:30 and i was still wide awake. this is the second time i cannot bring myself to sleep. the lights were off by 11pm but i was still there lying in my bed with all my senses awake. i cannot remember what time i had finally managed to sleep. i woke up today at 5am and i knew immediately today was going to be a long day. my head was aching, my tummy is not cooperating with the rest and the weather did not look good. my classes seemed so long and boring. nothing good happened today.

i don't know who to blame for whatever it is happening to me right now. i want to cry because i'm getting tired. i feel so pressured of things i am not sure of. i know in my mind i have so many tasks to finish but i cannot tell my body to work. i feel heavy and stressed although i have not done anything yet. i have three articles to write and finish by tomorrow night, plus tons of homework and readings to do. i want to start doing them, but i have lacked the will to do so. i have worn myself out during the first sem that nothing was left for this sem.

God knows how i can make it to DL this sem, not with this system.

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