kalintikan

have you ever had that day when everything as in everything goes wrong? i just had mine.

i woke up 3:20 am, my usual wake up call. i did my morning routine just like what i do every day. well, just to let you know, i'm sort of a paranoid when it comes to the things i wear like my accessories and stuff. and this day was an exception to my paranoia. i risked the chance that this day might turn out bad or anything like that. anyway, you get the picture. if you don't, stop reading this. ;)

first strike---physics. damn i hate that subject. i studied for four days just to prepare for today's quiz but i still can't get it right. i completely lost any chance of getting a score in two problems, that's a major factor for me to flunk. plus, cheating was the only way i could be saved. if i didn't ask for the answer, i would've also failed the multiple choice part. i'm sorry i cheated, but i think it's the only way i could pass.

second strike---accounting. i'm hating the subject now, unlike before when i can still understand the lesson. i was lost during the quiz, i didn't know the account titles and the other blahs. and i don't know why but i completely hastened to finish the quiz. and so i got a totally depressing score. that's what i get from hurrying. damn again.

third strike---no power, no water, san ka pa? i got home at about 7:20pm, super late. brownout na wala pa tubig. damn. i'm hating this day. but thank God, kahit pano He heard my prayers, after a few minutes the lights were back, but still no water. it was my second day pa naman, the cramps day. you don't wanna know how i managed to wash myself.

fourth strike---Philippine-Vietnam diplomatic relations essay. a week has passed but i still don't have any idea what the topic for my essay is. i want to give it up already, but i can't. i have to produce something by monday. that's like four days frome now?!

fifth strike---mass dance. we only have one week left but our dance is still half-baked, make that quarter-baked. i'm so glad we had that talk yesterday. seems like an enlightenment to most of us,i hope.

five punches in one day, that's too much for me! i want to break down and cry but i want to be strong. i just want this day to end.

the end );

i'll try to make this one short since i still have a lot to do.

i realized this isn't love. maybe i don't really love you.
maybe it's something else, something less than love.
i must've been blinded by the fact that you are rich, good looking, charming and all.
but this isn't love. i am sure.
and if ever it was love, it is not love for you but for who you are, what you have and how you look.
infatuation? probably.
now that i realized that the feeling i have for you is nothing but senseless, i am stopping, i am giving up the feeling i have.
i don't want to go on and be a moron daydreaming about you, about us, because it is one dream that can never be.
no more stories about you, no more kilig moments, no more waiting.
i know you won't come to me. no matter how long i would wait, you'll never come.
i am ending our fairy tale. or rather, my fairy tale.

giving up

i thought i was having a perfect day, good grades, no tensions, no problems and all, but i guess it didn't turn out the way i wanted it to be.
at about 6:45 pm, our service suddenly broke, as in ka ed said it won't function coz the clutch broke ata or something. it was already dark outside, but we don't have a choice, we had to walk to the gate of analyn village in order to ride a jeepney then a trike to reach home. really annoying. our driver didn't even give such an effort na ihatid kami to the village gate. maybe he's too afraid his van might be carnapped. duh? who would bother to steal a worn out, so used, depreciated van like that?! i hate that driver, very insensitive. buti na lang, i got home safely. the question now is, how am i supposed to go to school tomorrow,now that our service van has finally given up?


just after i signed in to ym, i see status messages saying, "he's happy wherever he is now", "let's all pray for him", blah, blah... the type of messages telling us, yep, arren has given up. at about 6pm, he passed away. very depressing, even on my part. though i don''t know him personally, i felt that i'm also involved. the whole lasallian community was involved. we will all miss him. wherever you are arren, our prayers will always be with you, we will always be with you.

giving up is not defeat for we can always start anew. we can always make a brand new start for as long as we believe.

lazy daisy

it's a wednesday night and why am i here? in front of the computer, typing nonsense and wasting my time surfing? i myself don't know. i have a quiz and an assignment waiting in my study table, but i don't even bother to finish them first. i am lazy. now i know how it feels not to do homeworks and study for tests first before anything else. i don't feel comfortable that i am being lazy, not just tonight, also during the other night. why am i being like this? i don't have an answer to a very simple question. another effect of laziness? too lazy to think?! this feels so weird, and yet i'm not doing anything about it. i continue to waste my time doing nothing. lazy indeed. i'm even too lazy to lengthen my post, i don't feel like i want to talk much. what the hell is happening to me? i am not like this, masipag ako eh.

tomorrow will be a better day, a more productive one...

depression due to barbie-ism

really bad. i missed one fo the most important events that i should be part of. i missed barbie's gig!! really really bad. well, in case you didn't know, im a huge barbie almalbis fan! influenced by my brother who's also a fan, i fell in love with her songs and her voice and her! yea, medyo nakakatibo talaga! she's that pretty, a little less than a goddess in my opinion. i cant believe it. i'm addicted to her!

but, s*** talaga! why did i let that slip through my fingers that fast!!?! i didn't even give an effort to see her at rob. well, it's because i was sure my mom wouldn't allow me to go, due to stupid circumstances. so sorry bie. i swear, i really want to meet you.

and so i wasn't able to see her in the flesh. too bad. really bad. i hate it. why can't i live in lipa na lang, so that time wouldn't be a problem? buti pa si riela. not only did she see barbie perform, but also got an autgraphed cd and a picture with barbie herself! huhuhu. i envy her. i really do. and also the others who watched barbie today. i envy them. and i pity myself.

ok lang yan. there will be more gigs to come. think postive.
rock on bie!

not just tests and headaches

what a week!

finally, the long week has ended. i'm done with all the studying and reviewing and waking up early justto study again. no more "study now, enjoy never". it really feels so good. having no worries and pressure. the only problem now is the release of the results. honestly, i don't think i did so well on this quarterly exam. all the subjects were really difficult, with the exemption of CAT (accdg. to my classmates), but how should i know? i didn't take the cat exam naman. oh well, i'll deal with that problem on monday. enjoy muna!

...though this week is all about tests, tests and tests, i still managed to get something more than headache...

love, enjoy and treasure every minute of your life. we really should. i just realized that today after hearing the news of what happened to arren viceral. i don't really know him or anything, but when i realized what happened to him, i was absolutely stunned. imagine, he was just having some ordinary evening, watching tv while studying, but in a split second, his life changed. stroke daw, pumutok na nerves sa utak as stated by his aunt. and now, he lies in a cold bed unconscious, no assurance that he'll live or what. it's really a dreadful situation, especially for his parents who were not prepared for it. too bad. let's all pray for him, please.

think twice before you get married. i am actually reconsidering if i want to get marrid ba or what. after watching sukob, i don't think i don't want to get involved in such a fiasco of getting married and then falling in to bad luck. what a waste. i don't want to be such a spoiler to those who haven't watched it yet, so no more kwento. just see for yourself. and don't forget. bring a friend along with you. it really helps if you have someone to cling on in case of freaky moments.

just my luck. this isn't a sarcastic statement okay. i am lucky. well, very shallow lang naman ang luck ko if i were to tell you. so better not tell na lang. haha. start of day pa lang, super lucky na. i got to school very early, around 6:00 am i think. then, ayun. basta. fate talaga. haha

...so you see, quarterly exams are not all tests, cramming and headaches, there's room for fun, learning and others in between.

one down!

upcat. why do i have to go through this? maybe my mom was right with her suggestion. maybe should just accept all students interested to study there, para at least all will be given a chance to have a up experience. not bad right? i wish it could be like that.

but no. reality wakes me up to the truth na kaya nga may upcat, to know who can enter. too bad. but why does it have to be that hard? why can it just ask simple questions like who is your crush? or define love? haha. ala autograph, but wouldn't it be a lot easier if it were like that? why do we have to spend 5 hours answering questions that i don't know? why do i have to think hard, solve hard, but still can't find the answer among the choices? why do i have to stay up late before the exam date trying to study the different formulas i don't know how to apply?.. so many questions, i don't even know how to answer.

the only consolation i have is that im done with it already. thank God. i've gone through the 300 or less questions, half of which i either guessed or skipped. haha. it's that hard! at least1 down, 3 to go. that's ateneo, dlsu and ust. i can do this! miracles happen. i just know it. and tonight, i could finally sleep with no more worries except for the quizzes tomorrow in soc.sci, physics and filipino and the acet on sept. 16. kahit pano nabawasan, right?

the grr-ing continues

i don't know why but i somehow lost some energy in updating. parang nakakatamad. it's so ironic, kung kelan i am supposed to tell my experiences for the week, and kung kelan marami nangyari, i seem to lose the feeling to share. ewan, sounds weird.

thursday.
it was my first time to leave school at 6:00 for a dance practice. it was also my first time to be scolded by mam vio. yep, the prinicpal.haha.really scary. thank God, our class made our way out of the mess.haha.f*** that level 9 class which were very irresponsible of their actions. i hate them whoever they are. grrr.

friday.
i had to be at la salle by 6:00 am for our lst practice, so no choice, byahe. i don't really find commuting a burden now, im actually enjoying it, especially when im just alone. i can feel independence when i ride the bus alone. really cool. plus, another advantage of going to school early, seeing someone i don't expect to see early in the morning.super kilig! haha.guess who.(;

7:40 of that same day.english. surprise, we had a quiz. and to my surprise nga, it wasn't an essay exam. grrr. i was expecting it would be essay, but it turned out to be identification type of test. ayun, got 11 out of 15, too bad. how should i know asperia was the early italy?!

9:40. this is it. quarterly in pe. i think i did pretty well. 96 over 100 isn't bad naman right? we were 2nd highest. that's good. in fact, great nga kasi i will gain extra points pa in pehm. grade from band then some add'l points from that dance. wow. not bad.

2:00. accounting. in less than an hour, we were supposed to do the trial balance, income statement and the balance sheet. duh? we're not gods! how can we possibly do that! i only finished until assets in the balance sheet. i hate it. the entries were very hard to analyze. very hard to balance. i hate that substitute, whoever he is. napaka ingay, very annoying. who is he?! he should be blamed for our low score in that exam.haha.i hate accounting! i don't think i can survive it anymore. more grrr.

saturday.today. in front of the computer.waiting. i cant wait for upcat! im scheduled tomorrow at 12:30. the last batch. so tagal. i want to get on with it already. but no, i have to wait until tomorrow. even more grrr. i've already reviewed some items, answered few practice tests and memorized some formulas. but im not so sure if i will remember all these things for tomorrow's exams. i wish! please pray for me and the others who will take the exam. your prayers really mean a lot to me. this exam means a lot to me, so please. pray for us.