Goodbye John Cena

I thought I’ve lost my title as a Kyther the day I graduated. I was well-aware that I wouldn’t have enough time, enough resources, and probably enough energy to go to the hospitals on weekends to visit the kids in AFP or in NCH. I thought it was to move on, to let go of my job as a Kyther.

I received a text message earlier telling me that John Cena was dead. Normally, any kind of loss in our organization would affect a small group of members, just those who are immediately close to the deceased (I hate this word) Kythe kid. Luckily or unluckily, this time around, I was in that pool of members.

I’ve met John Cena Espedilla two years ago, back when I was still heading Kythe Flying. He was probably 3 or 4 years old then, diagnosed of cancer yes. He was a crowd favorite mainly because he was one of the few kids that were super energetic and were willing to run around Bel Field chasing after the kites. Everyone wanted to hug him and to carry him, and this he willingly agreed to. I was lucky I was given the chance to hold him while we were riding the fire truck. He kept turning his little head while I was carrying him in my arms. He was probably wondering where the siren was coming from. Even then, people would know it’s probably John Cena when they see a little boy hugging and tugging someone’s knees, pulling them to where he wants them to go.

The next time I saw was during Kythe Christmas Party last year, when I was dressed as a cotton candy. In most of the Kythe events, I’m usually the type who likes to stick to one kid for the entire event and just run around with them or sit with them during the program. And on that day, John Cena chose me to be his buddy. Running around on white stockings wasn’t exactly the most fun thing to do, especially on a very humid weather inside a very humid basketball court. But I didn’t mind at all. John Cena and I would go from one booth to another, collecting candies and scooping up fish to get coloring books that we’d bring back to John Cena’s mom who’s sitting at their table. And while everyone’s busy taking photos with celebrities, John Cena and I hurried ourselves into the bouncy castle and jumped with our hands held tight to each other. When it was their table’s turn to get their photo taken with the celebrity family, he didn’t want to leave and would hold me back when I told him we had to go. And for the rest of that afternoon, this little boy built a tiny bubble with me, a tiny candy world that he and I share together.

When the other kids died last year and two years ago, I cried for their family’s loss and for the organization’s loss. I do miss Chinchin. Stanley and Ludwig, but the pangs of John Cena’s death hit me hard. I feel that it has been my loss as that it has been his own family’s loss.

People say it hurts to lose the one you love, but I guess what hurts more is losing them without even being able to fight or even see them for the last time. I miss John Cena. I miss the kids. I miss Kythe and the whole idea of being part of it.

This time around, I'm letting myself be sad, to mourn over this loss,  to give out a huge sigh that this boy is gone forever.

Eternal rest grant upon the soul of John Cena Espedilla oh Lord. 
And let Your perpetual light shine upon him. 
May he rest in peace. 
Amen.