the overused word known as happiness

after three weeks of suffering in katipunan avenue, i'm finally going home.

i don't really get so excited about going home, but today seemed like a very happy day that everything seemed to go my way. everything feels light and calm. although the weather in ateneo is starting to kill my skin, the rest seemed happy. i'm in a very good mood today, i don't even know why.

maybe because it's friday. and people in ateneo reallly make a big deal out of the whole TGIF thing that some of my blockmates are even planning on going out somewhere for tonight. after a whole week of stress, eating dinner somewhere or catching a movie actually help lessen the pressure for another week ahead.

maybe because i ate ice cream and a popsicle and chocnut waffle today. okay, ang babaw. i'm really gaining a lot of weight today. it's just that i've been controlling myself for weeks because i wanted to save more money for people's birthdays and to spend money on my happy food is not part of my budget. but i gave in. : the siomai i had for lunch sucked, so i searched for a happy alternative. and i discovered chocnut waffle. for only 12 bucks, i satisified myself. and blame the long hour breaks for the popsicle and the ice cream. hahaha.

maybe because i have a long weekend. ditch the tons of homework and long exams i have for next week, this is my weekend. i want to have fun. i have no idea how i'm gonna finish all my requirements for next week if i were to go home, but what the heck, i can prolly cram them all on monday night.

maybe because i was abel to spend some "good times" with R21. i honestly don't get to bond with most of them, but today seemed special. i talked to blockmates i don't usually talk to before. i realized maybe i can share the same block love i have with Y to my english block. and it's really sad that i we'll no longer be blockmates next year. =((

maybe because i feel like i'm starting to move on. this is genuine na okay. i figured why should i waste my precious time daydreaming when i can do something better. i wouldn't want to wait for something to happen right? so this may be the sign i was looking for. the signs i was waiting for to come. it's not about searching or looking at the sign, it's more of feeling it.

maybe because my mom promised me we'd go shopping this weekend. okay, this is the materialistic side of the story. >:) it's just that it's been more than months since i last went to a mall and shopped for something other than groceries.

maybe because i discovered sensuality. my lit prof has always reiterated that for something to be appreciated, it has to be sensual. and when one speaks of sensuality, one relates everything to the senses. and our senses are not limited to only 5 senses. Impy Pilapil, a sensual artist, opened a gallery of senses today in ateneo. the gallery was entitled "activating your 12 senses". the gallery was outdoor and offered a different kind of experience to people. and you know me, i'm not that type of person relating herself much to art. but the gallery was beautiful, no wait, it was colorful, full of life, energetic and HAPPY. there you go, happy. i spent more than an hour trying out the gallery pieces. yes, i tried them out, since all of them gives you the chance to really experience them and activate your 12 senses. cool noh? and the gallery will stay until july 2008. :)

just like love, happiness is prolly something you don't have to find reasons for. it's just like that, plain and simple. i think it's something that we always have, it's just that sometimes we forget it's in us. maybe because we're too busy with our fucked up lives that we don't notice this inner happiness or this inner love we have from the beginning. and because of sensuality or of our senses that we realize this happy feeling inside. finding reasons why we're happy or strolling around a gallery are not the only ways we can rediscover this weird feeling i like to call happiness.