somewhere a clock is ticking

A few hours ago, I attended my second graduation, my high school graduation. It didn’t turn out the way I expected it to be. It seemed to happen so fast. I thought I’d get bored waiting for the whole diploma giving part to finish, but even that portion occurred rapidly. Probably, it was because I was either busy drooling over arjae’s new iPod or talking with joyce and arjae. I regret the fact that I didn’t pay much attention to the whole ceremony. It's almost as if my graduation was just an ordinary, nothing special. And now I am dealing with much shame because I failed to appreciate the fruit of my four years of planting. And too bad it only happens once, I won’t get the chance to do it right again.

I thought graduation was supposed to be the most emotional part of 4th year. Well, I was wrong. There were no crying, no hugging for consoling. After the singing of my last alma mater song, cameras soon flashed away. Endless picture were taken. Cranky here, wacky there. I didn’t know on which camera to look, but what the heck, cam whore forever! Haha. We did nothing but take pictures and hug each other as we bid each other goodbye (for the moment). Because we knew that we would see each other again, tomorrow or on the next few weeks. Graduation doesn’t mean goodbye for us. It’s not a phase where we would march and then walk away from high school, from our friends. We just don’t think that way.

But then again, I realize, when will we say goodbye? I don’t want to let go; I just want to prepare myself for what is to come. I don’t want to let go or be let go of the thread that binds me with my friends. Will there be a moment when I have to say goodbye to them? If there is, I just want to prepare myself for that time to come. I know college can be a hindrance for us not to have the same bond we have now. We may meet new friends, find someone special, but I hope that thread wouldn’t break.

But now that I still have the time to be with my friends, I will do my best to savor each moment, so that regrets wouldn’t come. I don’t want to feel the same guilt I felt after graduation.

The clock is still ticking, I will try to live each day as if it was my graduation day.