playback

last night while i was bonding with Niyati, my green ipod, (read: soundtripping), i came by five songs, most of which were extremely cheesy and certified senti mode tracks.


dreaming of a broken heart
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with her crying eyes
Then all at once, you have to say goodbye
Wondering


this john mayer song has been my favorite track ever since i had my ipod. everytime i hear it, i get sooo emotional. it reminds of things we just can't have, things no matter how much i try, i just can't have it. it's that simple. no reasons, no alibis to tell. it makes you want to remember how much your heart yet you can't do anything about it (i told you it's cheesy!). you can do nothing about it yet still don't want to give up, you go on hurting yourself and continue doing nothing but love. five stars for john mayer. and zero stars for my cheesy-ness.



i'd still say yes
They say time can heal a broken heart
And true love never ends
So why not start where we begin


since it was already late and i was kind of getting really sleepy, i didn't immediately realize when or where i heard this song. but i knew in my head i know this song, and then i had a vision of joyce and with a guy. haha. it was during prom, during joyce and kit's moment. i couldn't help but get teary eyed remembering that memorable dance. the whole mystique masquerade relive itself with that song. my awful gown, my three-inches HIGH heels and of course, my own fleeting moment with *ehem*. haha. it wasn't the most romantic of all, i don't even remember seeing any sparks during that dance. so much for the i-thought-i-was-in-love drama. another cheesy one from yours truly.


butterfly kisses
With all that I've done wrong I must have done
something right to deserve her love every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.


ok, so this may not be the perfect song for me yet. but i still got it anyway. i may not be tying th knot yet or anything, but what the heck, i was in a very senti mode that night. and guess what, i totally cried. haha. i kind of felt that i was really growing up and learning to fly on my own. i am becoming more independent and confident of myself. and as this goes on, i am loosening the thread that ties me to, not only my dad, but also to my mom. the years have gone by, and i realized i didn't cherish every passing minute of my life. i didn't spend much time with my parents as much as i'm supposed to be. but i hope, even though, i'm already flying, i can still look back and give them my sweetest butterfly kisses.


rainy days and mondays
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.


yep, i caught the 70's or 80's bug. i am not so sure if the carpenters were famous around the 70's or 80's. haha. so this track isn't the most senti of all the senti's, but i just can't help but agree with the song. rainy days and mondays are indeed boring. nothing to do but frown. haha. rainy days, it's wet outside, meaning you can go out and get yourself wet by the rain or stay inside and bore yourself with nothingness. mondays, argh, they're the worst. if you're like the business people/student like me, you know how it feels. in our business, mondays most of the time predict the week's sales. and it's that day of the week when we have the most customers. and as for students, if you screw monday, you screw the whole week. it sucks, but it happens to me.


embers and envelopes
We write to apologize.
We ask to look past life as it goes by.
I know you have sacrificed time,life, love, time to fly.

Embers, we're burning bridges down.
Envelopes stuffed with feelings found.
To write this down as means to reconcile.


if 'dreaming of a broken heart' is my fave track, this one's my fave emo track, so i have two different favorites. haha. there's a big difference between the two. this song isn't so punk, kind of upbeat actually, but the band's emo. Mae has become one of my favorite emo bands, not so noisy, not so cheesy. nothing much about this song, i just love it. haha.




this is what i have been doing this summer, sound tripping, downloading songs, and more importantly, getting fatter by the day. i can't help it. i have constantly tried ways to control my weight, but almost everything fails. i just hope i could slash off that one wish before summer ends.

driving away

It has been years since I last stepped on sandy beaches. The last time I enjoyed some sun and sand was when I was still a little fat girl. I didn’t have the chance to really enjoy some sand since we stayed in a balsa and I was busy ranting how much I hate salty and dirty water. I didn’t get to enjoy the water nor the summer sun.

Last Friday, Good Friday, when most people stayed at home or pray at the church or joined the procession, my family and I hit the beach. Honestly, I have grown up with the “tradition” of spending the Good Friday out somewhere, most of the time at places like resorts. So this time, we spent it in Laiya, San Juan. It was our first time to go there. About 40 kilometers from the city and after 4 km of literally rocky roads, we were welcomed by white sand beaches extending to about 15 km. Not only that, there were cottages very comparable to the ones seen in Bali, Indonesia. But great sites come with loads of tourists yearning for the beach after long days of work and stress. Like most of them, this was the only chance for our family to enjoy and have some quality time before the before-school madness comes.

We spent the day eating native foods, splashing in the swimming pool, building unsuccessful sand castles, enjoying the sun (with loads of sun screen of course), and collecting seashells by the shore. These were the things I didn’t think I would enjoy when we got there. So what if I my eyes hurt because of the sea water, or if I get my sun burnt, or if my feet were covered with sand, I don’t really care. I had so much fun I didn’t mind looking like a silly kid when she gets a lollipop. These are the simple joys which, seen from the eyes of a child, worth remembering forever.

I grew up not open to the tradition of staying at home during Good Friday’s, my family takes this chance to breathe out all the stress, all the tension. This is our day of tuning out from the world and focusing ourselves with each other. This was the first time I actually saw my father enjoy the sand and even the seashell searching. We don’t see things everyday, or at least I don’t. I consider Good Friday a very special day. I may not be able to focus myself on God or on my sins, but I guess I managed to focus myself on something as essential to God in my life, my own family.

Driving away, leaving it all behind... Mae (Summertime)

when it's hot and your dulce isn't around

i have ran out of dulce. i can no longer write quotations nor write an essay about it. everything i write now turns out to be crap. maybe it's because of the heat that makes me feel so sleepy every afternoon. summer indeed has come. no more school. no more waking up at 3am. no more cram nights. well, at least for the next two months.

i am really not so good with the nothing to do type of days. i'm not so relaxed as i thought i am. time seems to be very precious to me, that i tend to do things fast. like taking a shower plus getting dressed in 15-20 minutes. and im not even in a rush during those times. imagine me when i am in a hurry to get ready. 10 minutes? haha. i can eat in 5-7 minutes and still be full. maybe that's why i'm always fat. haha. and i walk really fast. ask my friends, but i really walk briskly. and i don't even notice that i am, i am naturally a fast walker as if i'm in such a hurry. funny, i know. there are things i realize only when they are noticed by others. i wouldn't know all these stuff if nobody told me about it. and now, i'm in fast froward mode again. i want summer to be over. i want to go to college already. i want to grow up. but the season doesn't want to agree with me. i hate the heat, i hate getting sun burnt. i hate having to work at our store, while other kids get to go out somewhere. i hate getting bored. i hate getting fat. and most of all, i hate being away from my friends. i hate being disconnected. boo hoo summer.

i told my dulce isn't around. i returned to my old senseless, too informal way of writing. if you happen to pass by my dulce, tell him/her to come back. i need a lot of him/her when college starts.